U is for... Uttar Pradesh – A land gone to the goons

Once upon a time, in the land of Uttar Pradesh, a great man was born. He grew up to be extremely talented in duping people and earning their trust. Very soon he became the Chief Minister. After giving the state to the thugs, he let another party win. 

When his son grew up, this man took cue from Madam and let his successor manage the state of affairs. The son was seen as a ray of hope and naive people from my land gave the party another chance...

With frequent power cuts, the state remains a candle maker’s paradise. Every bhaiya eyes this land because they get utmost respect here. Development is in the form of elephants made of stone. Education – well, only if women could step into the universities without being eve-teased. 

Forget progress, the party leaders are downright regressive and, what seems the only appropriate word for them, retarded. In a recent statement this leader, who thinks he now has a chance of even becoming the Prime Minister, said that boys make mistakes and hanging them for rape is an unfair penalty.Another leader from the same coveted party said, "If a woman is caught (in a rape case), then both she and the boy should be punished. In India, there is death penalty for rape, but when there's consensual sex outside marriage, there's no death penalty against women." 

You would think they were being forced by some divine power to say something like this when a third kind soul took the tag and remarked that those who fought for victory in Kargil were not Hindu soldiers, in fact the ones who fought for our victory were Muslim soldiers.

These three witty statements that were made in quick succession during the month of April, when our country goes to vote, have been the worst publicity stunts of all time. The chain of events was not exactly in this order, but those words, those exact words were used. If I could, I would slap the people who made these remarks. And to think of it, people are all over a new leader who is at least trying to do some good. God forbid, if we have these charismatic people in top positions in the centre this time, we all would need to look for citizenship elsewhere.

I am not kidding. This land is the land of Taj Mahal. It is the land of tehzeeb, adab and tameez. The holy Ganges runs through it. You would meet the sweetest and simplest people here. It is my birth place and I love it. But this, this is something that is beyond me. Earlier, monkeys just inhabited Ayodhya but now, they are all over the place. I think we need to brace up for the worst because this dance of democracy might just hurt the whole nation.