Thursday, August 25, 2016

Career Homemaker


Listed below are the kind of households we have in this world:


  • Single income with kids
  • Double income with kids
  • Double income no kids
  • Single income no kids

The fourth, apparently called SINK, is the least common because being a housewife or a house-husband is looked down upon. Also, if you don’t rear kids, you need to do something ‘meaningful’ in life which literally translates to being a part of the rat race.

I understand that some people are very competitive and absolutely love their work. But what about almost 90% of those who live weekend to weekend hating their jobs all their lives?

We are a SINK couple and what I can say with guarantee is that we ain’t sinking! Infact, I think, we are sailing far better than all the other three categories.

I do all the menial chores at home, which, by the way, I don’t think are lowly at all. I cook, I clean, I do laundry, I declutter. Apart from this, I plan our travels and take care of our finances. I have an active social life which I maintain with utmost love and respect which means I have real friends and not I-need-someone-to-gossip with person. I read. I write. I exercise. I take up useful classes.

There is a better I don’t do list as well. I don’t drink wine all day. I don’t go on shopping sprees or coffee dates all the time. I don't never cook a meal. I do my own nails(!). Basically, I don’t unnecessarily spend the money I did not earn. Oh, I do have a debit and credit card at my disposal which I choose to use sparingly. 

The banker husband, he wakes up at 6 a.m. and I wake up with him. He goes to work which, if given a choice, he wouldn’t go to as well (Yes, we are both in the non-ambitious category which works well for us). He comes back after 10-11 hours and then goes for a workout. I don’t crib or wait for him to come back home sooner and entertain me. I believe that I have made a choice, and it is upto me to find my happiness. If I depend on him for every single thing then he will begin to resent our lifestyle and I most certainly can't give my princess status up!!

Anyway, we spend a lot of quality time together during and after dinner and follow the same pattern five days a week. We discuss our day and share every small detail. The other two days we live outside the house and go for meals, meet friends, watch movies, go for long drives, the works. We take a vacation every three months and that has really defined our life for the past 8 years.

It is an unusual set-up, but it is what makes us happy. We are able to spend a lot of time with each other without the stress of the corporate world. I am cheerful and happy when he comes home and according to him, that takes his stress away. We can plan our trips anytime since we don’t need two bosses to coordinate our leaves. We get fresh, home-cooked meals because one of us is home to make them.

I am sure there are many couples out there who can both earn and lead a lifestyle like this. I say kudos to them. What I can’t understand is the judgmental society which wouldn’t understand the joy of one partner being at home. What do you do all day? How do you pass your time? Don't you get bored at home? -  these are the type of questions that I find hardest to answer.  I am contributing to the society in my own sweet way, what goes?

The other argument they present is what if something were to happen to the bread-winner, how will the dependent cope with that? Well, human beings are designed to adjust. I am educated, strong and smart, I will find a way out.

Even though my husband brings home the proverbial bacon, we have a relationship of equals. He goes grocery shopping with me and wouldn’t mind doing it alone. He enters the kitchen on a regular basis although I’d rather he did not! If need arises, or I ask him to do a household chore, he has no qualms about it. He completely agrees with whatever decision I have to make regarding my career and supports my career as a homemaker.

As for earning his respect for a woman who just 'sits at home' - there are many times I outsmart him or give him advice on various things. I am well-read and almost never have a dumb moment in discussions about the world, politics, economics, entertainment or even sports. The stereotype we attach with housewives is regressive and it is time people met women like me to know the real deal.

I have my bad days as well when I feel what am I doing with my life. But I believe one gets the same feeling several times a year even at a desk in a swanky multinational office. In the end we have to be at peace with ourselves. If being single income without kids gives me and my partner happiness, I don’t think traditional, modern or feminist values should come in between.

Phew! The childfree banner was hard enough to uphold, and now I need to deal with SINK as well. To put it in your words - Yes, I am my husband's princess, and we wouldn't change the rules of our castle for the world! 


P.S. This post was the result of a word I read online (reddit) that was used to describe a housewife without kids. The comment mentioned that the world does so much for you and you don't do anything for the world. Much to my agony the word was - parasite. I have only one advice for such people - look into your hearts and delve into your homes before name calling.

17 comments:

  1. Like you I am a SINK, except not married and yeah I get it all times, working for myself and not attending any office. Trust people who don't have anything else to do, self invite themselves into your personal life.

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    1. Theoretically speaking, if you are not in your late thirties, your situation is considered perfectly normal. However, I am sure people will find something weird about it as well. Funny, judgmental society!

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  2. maybe they are just jealous
    not everybody gets an awesome life like yours
    more power to you :-*

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    Replies
    1. I couldn't agree more!

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  3. For starters, no one really gets why a certain arrangement between two people work and why two seemingly wonderful people cannot make it in a relationship. It takes more than individual incomes, personalities, interests. I strongly believe it is a combination of factors.

    I was going to say, you don't need to justify your life to anyone, but then I wrote a similar post with the exact same sentiment. The judgement, questions, distrust, unsolicited advise just gets to us sometimes.

    I have to say, I continue see parallels in our life. It is fascinating. :)

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    Replies
    1. I wasn't justifying to anyone but to myself. I need to write down my thoughts in a constructive manner to know whether I am doing the right thing. Also, I really need to tell the world a few things and this medium is absolutely perfect to do that.

      As for our life - you are studying, aren't you? I am far from it! :)

      Delete
  4. jack frost8/26/2016

    was dowry given during marriage?.you have written everything except that one thing,otherwise it was complete.being sink couple,i don't find any flaw in your life from what you have written.i have seen other sink couple where lady has a cook,maid,driver and won't do any household work and still goes on shopping spree and spends money on food orders though they have a cook.you are really much better or ideal in your role.

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    1. Hahaha!!! Why would you ask that!? Are you making fun of me or is it a serious question?

      My husband is a self made man who started from scratch after his education. No dowry whatsoever!! And I am no trophy wife with golden locks and sexy figure if that was going to be your next question! :p

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    2. jack frost8/26/2016

      its a serious question,i don't make fun of people cuz i don't like sadness.i have asked that question just to know whether its arranged or love marriage.in most of arranged marriages, dowry is involved.

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    3. It's a love marriage.

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  5. I feel so content after reading you. Atleast there is someone who thinks the right way about Home makers. I always think about a line you wrote in one of your posts - I am the happiest house wife you'll ever find and I can't tell you how Proud I am of you <3

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    1. It's true! I believe in being happy with whatever situation we are in. Ofcourse we should try to make things better, but in the process we should not crib and depress everyone around us.

      Thankyou for saying all that, it's reassuring :)

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  6. Hi Nisha,
    Congratulations!
    You have been featured in Tangy Tuesday Picks.
    http://blog.blogadda.com/2016/08/30/tangy-tuesday-picks-august-30-2016-best-creative-stories-by-indian-bloggers
    Thank You for this amazing post!

    Team BlogAdda

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  7. Housewife is somehow considered regressive, even anti feminist. Women who refuse to join the rat race, love to cook and do the works are women who cannot have any ambitious. Happy to see a well conceived post

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  8. Leave the jife to its full

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  9. You are the only housewife I love! Because you are the only housewife I know who is brilliant at what she does and is not just another housewife.

    Stay awesome. More love and power to you!

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)