Wednesday, June 9, 2021

Quest to Cure

In my quest to heal myself, I’ve been studying a lot lately. Its all jumbled up right now because every single thing that I come across catches my attention and I deviate from the current subject! But I am learning something new every day and that is what matters, isn’t it?

One of the most interesting ideas that I read was in a book called ‘The last Best Cure by Donna Jackson Nakazawa’. According to her, our past traumas, especially the ones that happen before we enter adulthood, cause deep effect on us leading to illnesses later in life. Be it passing of a parent, a sudden shock, physical or emotional abuse – they all lead to damaging our cells in some way or the other.

I already knew parenting was hard, but to be present for your children in such a huge way is next to impossible. The only way out is to love your child unconditionally and make them feel that adulation all the time. It not only helps in building their confidence but also keeping them healthy in the long run. It certainly heals all wounds and all that they are going through without telling you.

This also brings me to the current state of our country. The pandemic is severely affecting adults and kids alike. Our country is collectively gearing up for PTSD. What happens to these kids in adulthood when they have been exposed to next to nothing during the past year and a half? The media is constantly creating fear, parents are afraid, and losing near and dear ones is not helping. The emotinal damage because of this is inconceivable.

What happens when we realise later in life that we faced a trauma, or some form of abuse which affects us health-wise? How do we get over it? Apparently by practicing mindfulness,forgiveness, and gratitude. I’ve had my share of things in the past which surface as I practice mindfulness. Things I didn’t even think mattered have emerged as quite important during meditation.

Frankly, I am new to all this. I have no idea how imperative these thoughts are. Are they coming out on their own from my subconscious mind or is my brain creating them? More importantly, when I practice forgiveness and gratitude, will these ‘traumas’ from my past have less effect on my body and mind in the future?

Well, we have been told time and again that we must forgive and forget, we must be grateful for what we have, and we must remain positive under all circumstances. But it wasn’t until now that I learnt how to truly do these things. Sometimes I feel I will go crazy reading this stuff! At other times I want to go crazy in the quest to find a second life for me..

I truly hope and pray that these efforts will be successful and I will emerge a better person physically and mentally. I am amazed at my experiences and I will document them when the miracle happens.

Until then, I am deep in my thoughts and journaling them here helps me a lot!