Thursday, October 31, 2013

Sulking, Answering and Wishing

I've been struggling a lot with writing a blog post without any particular reason. I am also sulking because I have not won any contest in the last few months. Highly demotivated to type anything! So, I picked up this from my drafts. Assume you are Oprah and I am on the hot seat: 

1 - Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.

I’m not such a bad cook as I pretend to be. You see, I’m super lazy. I don’t want to cook for people and so I let them feel I’m average. Smart, right? Lately the cooking bug has hit me hard. Just two days back I baked a boozy Kahlua cake which was to die for! Shhh!

2 - If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

It’s a tough choice between men with sick mind and terrorism. I’d choose the former.

3- Do you like to dance?

Oh yes, a lot! I feel like its my birthday when I go clubbing. Haha! Yep, I’m very high on birthdays.

4.Would you ever consider living abroad?

For the rest of my life! You can go ahead and call me names but I can’t imagine going back to India for a lot of reasons.

5. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

The iPad calls me Mishap all the time.

6. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

Oh my sweetheart and a very close friend – Noorien. And then we went on conference with another one. It is always such a riot.

7. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

Lol! I’m so ashamed of this now – the latest episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians!
8.Last time you swam in a pool?

It has been more than a year. I developed some stupid shoulder problem because of it. It has still not gone. Hate it!

9.Type of music you like most?

I don’t want to answer slam book kind of questions. I am 30.

10. Type of music you dislike most?

Ok. I am still 30. For 17 more days!

11. Are you listening to music right now?

I don't like to listen to anything when I'm writing. It annoys me a lot. I ask the Boy to shut up as well!

12. What color is your bedroom carpet?

It is all rented, so it wouldn’t matter. Yes, even the spoons are rented!!! They were new when they were given, FYI. And it all comes as a package. You should be jealous right about now!

13. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

Nothing. It’s a nice house. I would like better neighbours though.

14. What was the last thing you bought?

My husband gifted me a nice watch. *blush* I would like to assume we bought it together!!

15. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

I find them scary, very scary!

16. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

I’m never say never kind of a gal!

17. Do you have a garden?

No. Although I’d love to have one – with a gardener ofcourse. Told you, I am super lazy!

18.Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

Yeah. I was in school for 13+2 years. And we sang it every single day.

19. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

What an awesome day! Haha! What can a lazy person think, hmm?

20. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

I am a Bigg Boss addict. So, these days I would like to give a piece of my mind to Tanishaa Mukherjee who is acting like such a loser in the BB house. What's with her dressing sense? It sucks!

21.Who sent the last text message you received?

A friend telling me that another friend delivered a baby girl. I can't stop smiling ever since!
22.Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

A travel portal. Wow.

23. What time is bed time?

Anytime between 9 pm to 4 a.m. Depends on the day of the week. 

24.Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

Does Miss Fresher count?

25.How many tattoos do you have?

None. I’d like a butterfly on my shoulder someday. But it’s too painful. So maybe not!

26. If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

Same as above!

27.What did you do for your last birthday?

I’ve talked so much about my last birthday on this blog that I sound like a 16-year old. Check November posts for reference!

28.Do you carry a donor card?

No. But I’d like to donate all body parts. Can someone get my cute smile too?

29.What time do you get up?

Anytime between 6 a.m. to 1 p.m.  – depends on no.23.

30. What Inspires You?

Humour. If you can make me smile – you are awesome and I would like to be like you!

Happy, Happy Diwali people. Spread a million smiles!
This is the only time I miss India a whole lot.

Friday, October 11, 2013

On Being Childfree

Maybe I am being too honest and writing this post too soon. Or, maybe not. Since I don’t assume things to change in the near future, I hope to save this till eternity. It has been almost 5 years to our marriage and being child-free has left our neighbours, maids, relatives, laundry guy, cleaners, nieces ... devastated! Everyone we meet looks at our ‘empty’ life with sympathy and tells us how they would be ‘praying’ for us. It is ironical that the same woman who will be ‘praying’ for us adopted a child and now regrets doing it because he is not a genius. Shameful -  that is all I have to say.

Anyway, children are amazing. I love to play with them. I respect and admire people who bring up these little ones in the best way possible. I love my nieces and nephews to bits and look at their pictures a whole lot. I love my friend’s children and aww when they call me maasi. I don’t know if they will love me when they grow up to be teenagers, but I am sure I will love them till the day I live. Love without possess - that does make me feel like an angel though!

Does that mean I am dying to have children of my own? No, not at all. I live in a very small country which probably has the most comfortable life in the world. It is as good as living in India without having to deal with traffic, inflation, relatives, the works. We have contemplated moving out a lot of times just because we have become too complacent in life! The sample of population that I have in front of me is of married couples in their 20’s or 30’s with a lot of disposable income and free time. Everyone seems to be happily married and has kids. So -  no bachelors, no divorcĂ©es, and certainly no couple without a kid.

That leaves us with no choice but to dodge the question. We are clear in our heads but to explain to everyone is a task. Now the Boy has always been someone who cares a damn about what people say. He is very vocal about his thoughts and I admire the brave rebel in him. But me, I have views that I am scared to share. I hate to go against what is considered normal. I am slowly learning from him how to stand up for what I truly believe in. It is a process that would take its own sweet time.

That brings me to the reasons for our decision. Are we selfish? Are we scared of responsibilities? Do we have health issues? Do we wish to travel without any guilt? Do we wish to save all our money just for ourselves? Do we think children can make us miserable? And again, are we selfish? – Yes, all of the above. 

At first it was only one of the above. But over the years we have discovered all the more reasons not have kids. I would not say that I never think about it. I do. I do think and talk about it a whole lot because I want to have a life without any regret. I don’t want to feel 10 years later that we should have thought it through. I speak to the Boy every now and then. I read blogs and memoirs of people who don’t have kids. I read about parents who are miserable. And then there are those who think kids make their home lively and bring new meaning to their life. Not only that, I also read hateful posts by people who think our sole purpose on earth is to reproduce. The more I talk about the issue and read about it, the better I feel about our decision.

Only recently, the Boy said that if we feel the need to have a child after 5 years, we have the option to adopt. I was surprised because I thought he was against the idea of adoption. Then I told him that my mother feels it is better to connect with a charitable organisation which would take care of several kids in the same amount of money that we would spend on raising just one child. He liked that idea too.

And so, if we feel the need, we would do just that and not over-populate the earth (with no offense to people who don't agree with us!). We would try to romance all our life. We would splurge on our nieces and nephews and be the best aunt and uncle ever. We would travel the world and show-off several passport stamps. We would indulge in random dancing and singing and playing at home to keep it as lively as it already is or could be if there was a certain baby in the house.

There is no doubt in my mind that innocent antics of children bring happiness to your home. But if they are the ONLY reason for your happiness, then you have a problem. Not us. 

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Forrest Gump - a movie to watch, revise and learn by heart!

This weekend we revised Forrest Gump. For the uninitiated, it is a Tom Hanks movie in which he is a man with low IQ but immensely gifted with every other quality. The movie makes you smile from the beginning to the end and if you still haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it to you.

There are several things you can learn from the movie. Here are a few learnings that I thought I’d share:

*If you have any short-comings, a loving mother is all you need. If she tells you that you are no different than the rest of the world, you would grow up believing that and be much more confident. Forrest’s mother was like God to him. She told him 'don't let anyone tell you that you are different.' He followed everything she said and rightly so.

*The saying ‘Be kind to everyone you meet’ is not stressed hard enough. Jenny was the first friend Forrest made as a child just because she let him sit next to him in the bus. They were inseparable there on. Forrest’s love for her is the kind of stuff fairytales are made of. It was just her kindness that gave her that treasure.

*Never use the word promise or forever if you don’t mean it. Forrest always kept his promises. He promised his friend Bubba that they will catch shrimp together. Even after Bubba dies, Forrest kept his promise which not only made him a millionaire, but gave a lot of hope to several other people as well.

*When someone says that he wants to die, don’t believe him. Give him all the love and support for he needs that to live. Forrest saves a life while fighting in Vietnam. The soldier doesn’t want to be saved because he knows he will be crippled for life. Forrest goes ahead anyway. He later becomes his partner in the shrimping business and leads a fulfilling life.

*Life is not about being smart or dumb, it is how you take things by your stride. Gump wasn't the smartest guy and so he saw life from a very different or what some would call, juvenile perspective. When he gets shot in the buttocks, all he sees is the joy in getting ice cream! He dedicates himself in playing table tennis in the hospital and becomes a national champion. If only we all could move away from our problems the way he did.

“Stupid is as stupid does.” (You are what you do), “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get.” (Life is unpredictable but in the end, everything works out just fine), “You have to do the best with what God gave you.” (need I say more?), “Sometimes, I guess, there just aren’t enough rocks.” (even if you try to forget, sometimes you just can’t move on),  "There's only so much fortune one man needs, the rest is just showing off." – are a few sayings from the movie. Now I know which movie to watch, what to quote, whom to remember whenever I’m blue.

The movie captures history beautifully. From Elvis Presly to Kennedy to Vietnam war, there are a lot of references to the current affairs in the period that the movie depicts. Tom Hanks is as awesome as ever. And there are songs that would make you feel happy whenever you hear them.

Go ahead, watch it, and then again!
And if you ever get a chance to eat at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company , don't forget the garlic bread. The one we had at the San Francisco outlet was to die for! See, Forrest kept his promises beyond the movie as well - the shrimps are simply divine!