Post Wedding Woes

A wee bit late for the post wedding woes.But that's how it is, finally I feel married! People use to ask me if it has changed. And I use to wonder what changes. I'm still the same, he's still the same...just that we are having so much more fun. Yup, thats changed.

And then it all changed! The most bugging thing after a marriage are the babies. C'mon people give us a break. Grown ups make babies. I'm not one. My hubby is still in his diapers!! Isn't it enough that we got married! We didnt plan it 5 years in advance...it happened when it was suppose to happen. So when I touch feet of this aunt she tells me, 'Putravati bhav' (may you be blessed with a baby boy.), another tells me you guys should have one right now, a third tells me to start eating right, a fourth...ah, I have plenty of them! Incidently I live in a building where almost every couple has a new born. All they talk about is how the baby keeps them awake all night. Babies, babies, babies!! I use to like kids earlier, I dont hate them now, I just dont feel like being around them so much. Am I over-reacting?

Socialising is such a problem after marriage. You like someone, your partner doesnt like the spouse. What do you do? Now my hubby is a special case. He only likes being around his bachelor friends! I dont mind those guys either 'coz they are fun and atleast they dont talk about babies and discuss recipes! But then I feel weird when one of them accidently comes up with a swear or when they all put their glasses together and expect me to say cheers too! The Indian girl in me is absolutely uncomfortable.

The worst is when we wives become our husband's moms. Poor guy, he married his girlfriend and ended up being tortured with healthy food,juice, milk and gallons of water! Its now that I understand how my mom use to be after my life. And I hated it. He hates it too, but like my mom, I'm adamant!

And then I have an identity crisis. In no way do I want to lose my identity and just hang around with my husband's. I'm a sindhi, he's a punjabi. When people question me, what should my reply be? My surname is Punjabi, his is takkar. I'm cetainly not making it Punjabi Takkar!!!! What should I say? I'm from Lucknow, he's from Haryana. Where am I from? It leaves me confused. For the first time I'm unable to solve a problem!

Lastly, I've become a full time housewife. I'm loving it so far. I have a few other duties too that I'm fulfilling with complete devotion. Somehow it leaves me with no time to blog, write or read. I have no complains with my life and everything is just perfect, yup, the woes too! Oh, and I'm going to India again for Diwali. And I'm looking forward to it sooo much :)

If anyone is keeping score, I'll see you soon!

My Best Friend's Wedding

I promised that I will write regularly. But that promise was broken to fulfill a bigger promise to my best friend - attend her wedding.

And so I had to leave my hubby dearest yet again for a few days and fly back to my home town. The fact that I had just gone to Bahrain and was coming back to India to attend a friend's wedding seemed indigestible to people. No one said anything, but they did raise eyebrows and said weird things like 'bahut achi friend hai kya'!? Had I said it's my cousins wedding, no one would have questioned. Why do we place friends last in our priority list? For me, friends are much more important than relatives whom we don't know from adam.

Anyway, it was also my first time to attend a Muslim wedding. We might be really different from each other but its strange how we have such similar customs.The sangeet songs, mehndi, hiding the shoe, opening thread from each others hand tied before the wedding, fishing for a jewel dipped in milk...lots of similar things.

Coming to the point, this post is for my darling. I have loads of best friends but somehow N has a very special place in my heart. We've been friends only for 4 years but this period has been so significant in our lives that we're inseparable. She did what nobody else could - make me open up and talk about my deepest emotions. We can talk endlessly, maybe because she's such a chatterbox. I had a love-hate relationship with her when we were doing MBA together. She would never help me much with 'our' project and I would crib how irresponsible she was. I shared loads with her, but she never did. After college we started becoming better friends. We started a small HR company and life changed for us.

We became best, best friends. I've written a lot about love and friendship on this blog. It's because these are the two subjects that hold most importance in my life. I learnt a new meaning of friendship from N. And so I cherish our bond most. If I had a problem, I never hesitated to share it with her. I felt proud when I could help her during her most troubled times. When I had visa issues after marriage and I couldn't be with the boy, N was the best support. It was her prayers too that helped me reunite with him. Whenever we were together, any third person seemed like an intruder! Oh, it sounds as if we are lovers...my bhabhi and my hubby do call us that!But that's how it is - a very very special friendship.

N got married yesterday to this sweetest guy. At one point I felt guilty of feeling jealous since she had a new 'best friend'! But that didn't last long for I was more happy for her to have found a guy who's just perfect. I want to be great friends with the guy too...so that our friendship could grow stronger. I want to tell her today that I love you N...and we'll be friends forever. We're married, our time zones don't match and we'll certainly wont be in the same city anymore...but we'll be together...in thick and thin...like always. And like true 'lovers'....distance will make our hearts grow fonder :)

It's Official!

We've heard a lot about Indian Babus. Any procedure that involves any government related employee, we know it would be ages before it reaches completion. From getting a telephone repaired/disconnected to renewing a passport to getting a driving license, the bigger it is the more cumbersome it gets.

Sometimes we are lucky and things go on smoothly. I would call such people blessed! Sometimes we are rich and we bribe to get our work done quickly. Again, blessed. But most of the time any amount of incessant cribbing falls short of the the torture we go through.

And so in my mind, government employees were slow, had an easy 9-5 job involving more of chai, samosa and gupshup than work and cared little about their customers. Until yesterday that is. So I’m in this country where Arabs have earned huge sums of money by refining oil. Sometimes their day begins at 8 and ends at 1. Their weekend is almost a 4-day thing wherein they work only for half day one day before and after the weekend. During Ramadan, i.e. for over a month in a year, their day ends at 3. Yesterday I had Visa related work. I went to the ministry before it opened so that I was amongst the first ones. There were about 50 more people like me. Even after 1.5 hours after their scheduled opening time, work didn’t start. Then the guard comes and says, today we have decided to remain closed!

Laughable, it is. This is just a small example of how the, well, babus operate here! It takes months to get a driving license. They fail you atleast twice before finally giving it. Finding a licenced instructor is tougher than finding God! When you do find one, he will ditch you a lot of times wasting precious time and taking your frustrations level to unbelievable heights. And then they show you attitude!

After seeing all this I have new found respect for our country! We are highly effective, laborious and cordial. Even a rude official answers your queries. Here, you would be lucky even if they understand what you are trying to ask! This doesn’t mean we should ignore the loopholes in our system. There are miles to go before Indian authorities reach global standards. But as they say, we find more satisfaction in life by seeing those who are below us, and so I am proud of things back home!

I hate myself!

Just for the time being though! I'm reading blogs after more than a month now. I had made a few, very few friends in this written world but it seems I've lost them now. I'm so engrossed in the small things in life that I'm not doing what I like doing best - writing and reading.

I feel guilty of wasting the precious time I've been given. Although in the last 1 month I have discovered a whole new place, met loadssssss of new people, have successfully changed a bachelor pad to a beautiful house(if you dont know, its a tough task!) and have cooked sumptuous grub for my darling hubby who has acknowledged every morsel to encourage me!! So what if my chapatis are still square, they are fully blown up and soft!

And that's why I love writing. You see, this post may seem petty to yo. But after writing all that I have done in the past 1 month, I feel less guilty!

And yes, I will write regularly from now on. Hopefully by declaring it publicly I will find time and return to my love often :)

Misc.

Much has been spoken about photos and Facebook on this blog. I came about something very interesting today which I just have to share. Its regarding, again, pictures.
So we all try to be our witty-best when adding a line or two with our mundane pics. And some people go an extra mile. The pics I saw today had intriguing captions like - Flower, Leaves, Tall tree, Road, Me, Me near a tree - below, what else, a flower, leaves, tall tree...you get the drift.

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What's up with this 'How well do you know so-and-so quiz?
My husband scored a 60% after much deliberation. His answer to such disastrous result "Sweetheart there's mystery in our relationship. I want to know you more and more each day."
To state that he has learnt to handle me after all these years would be an understatement.

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My visa delay has actually become a joke now.
A friend wanted me to get serious when I was actually laughing out loudly. I suggested her to say something like, 'Nisha, imagine if your visa gets more delayed.' She did as I said.
It didnt help at all.

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There are several benefits of having a guy friend. On the other hand, he hardly has any if his female friends are devilish.
The other day we asked him to show us isolated lanes and by-lanes where he and his friends 'took' their girlfriends in a car which has window panes covered with sheets darker than a moonless night. After much coaxing, he showed us two of them. We were really impressed and thought we could help our nieces and nephews someday.
And ofcourse, we will tell our friend's wife (whoever she will be) how he took us to that lane too.

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The other day I was listening to 'Tamma Tamma loge' on radio while driving. Somehow it's easier to remember the lyrics of old songs and so I wanted to sing along loudly. I wanted increase the volume and go dhinchak dhinchak in the car.
I was too afraid to ruin my reputation in the city and so I didnt. But really what's so wrong about it? Especially when songs back then had much better lyrics and tunes.
Barring Tamma Tamma, ofcourse. Bappi da is just another league altogether.

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Ok, I gotto go now. Otherwise it will be waking up time for granny and she'll start her harangue on how its better to sleep early and get up early. I, on the other hand, think its actually practical. This way somebone or the other is always awake at our place 24 hours. We really don't need a watchman.

Feels like 16 again

Warning: Girlish post ahead

Remember when you were 14 and you had your first crush? I do! I could talk to my friend endlessly about how that guy looked, behaved, walked, stared, etc etc etc. We would give the guy a girl's name so that when we were talking on the only landline in the middle of our homes, mom wouldnt know we were talking about a boy!
There were days full of sunshine when He spoke a word or two with me. And then there were sad days when He was absent, from school of course!If he showed even minimalistic interest, life was complete!

Today when I look back, it sounds so funny. I dont even want to see the guys I was even remotely interested in! We were crazy. We shared every single detail. If the crush blossomed into love the chats were even longer. How he became friends, how he proposed, how he would propose, how he held your hand, how he kissed, when will you marry, what will you call your children...ah, the works! This was the best part of female bonding.

I know every girl goes through this. If she doesnt, I pity her. I thought this was kiddish and happened only when we were younger. And so, when a friend of mine who has recently started knowing a guy started sharing minute details, we laughed our hearts out.

She was telling me silly things about him over the phone. I didnt want to spoil it for her and so I smiled just to myself. I never thought that at 26, I will be hearing things like this again. But that's the beauty of falling in love. The initial part has so much to share. So much to know. And so much more to discover.

Yeah, it feels like 16 again. Or, maybe 20, when I saw someone blushing because she had fallen in love. Maybe its what teenagers do. Or maybe its what every girl does when she falls in love. I still do it but not with the same fervour. But today, it really does feel like 16 again :)

Counting my blessings

I'm an optimist. Not the enthusiastic pain-in-the-neck chirpy type. But a normal thinking-positive-when-things-dont-go-well kinds. And so, in times like this, when I'm desperate to re-unite with my husband, for reasons more than the 'obvious' one, I count my blessings!

Yesterday i had a chatty day with this friend of mine who's getting married to her boyfriend from 9 years. It makes me proud when I see them together for I was among the first 2-3 people to 'know' about their affair in school. Anyway, so she told me, I'm going to name my first girl Nisha. There are no words to describe the feeling I had. Well, she has one more reason to name her daughter this, but I'm the reason too. Thank god for friends like these who make this world such a beautiful place.

And then, in the evening another friend called. She said, I was thinking who is the one friend whom I badly want in my wedding. And the answer is you.
I'm emotional like crazy and that made tiny water droplets fill my eyes!!If this is not a blessing, then what is.

Rest later, right now I'm just too happy to flaunt the halo around my head :)