Let me start by saying that this is my 8th post for the month of September. In my 6 years of blogging, this is the most I have written in a month. To add to this record, there are ten unfinished posts in my drafts folder for the same (idle) time period. The time I have spent writing stuff that doesn’t make any sense, I could have read so much. So today, I decided to do the same – read.
Every time I read I realise I have such a loooong way to go. Ideas, language, words – there is a huge scope for improvement. Anyhoo, apart from the meaningful stuff that goes around in the written world, I so wish to write on the following topics in the years to come:
*I wish to talk about adorable babies and their annoying parents. You love them, I get it. But please don’t fill my wall with their pictures. If you were my mommy/daddy and you were putting my picture in all its glory, I would have disowned you. Right from their first rain, to Janmashtami, to first day at school – you just can’t do this to them and to, well, us! Holiday season is just starting and I fear for my life!!!
*I wish to talk about sex. Yep, the stuff that happens before babies. You see, we do khi khi kheee before marriage. But after marriage, sex becomes all about ovulation, fertility and contraception. A naive girl is suddenly expected to become a sex machine and pop out babies. If there is no baby, people think the couple is not having sex. I want to clear the air – you can talk about sex and do khi khi khee long after you’ve been married and that there is no correlation between babies and the chemistry between the couple. The only thing that I am jealous of is the fact that parents have a much more adventurous time doing it with a baby sleeping next to them. What fun!
*I want to talk about the difference between Indian and American television. Owing to a recent Netflix addiction, we’ve been watching too many drugs related series. I admire the creativity that goes into making these thrillers. But I need a break from Meth! On the contrary, all we see here are saas-bahu sagas. I don’t know which culture is better – the stoned one or the one that makes you want to get stoned!
*I want to defend men on this forum. I've been blessed with an amazing set of men in my life. I know it is not the same for everyone. But it is our duty to love and cherish the good ones. Poor guys, they have been at a receiving end recently and a lot of them don't deserve the generalization. To do that without sounding like an anti-feminist freak is a task. Also, I don't understand what is the big deal in being a woman? I want equality - they are as good and we are as bad.
*I want to write humour. But apparently, nothing without the word sex, fart or booze is funny enough. Political humour is something I can never do. I can make fun of my husband, but for how long? I can talk sarcastically about my lazy ass but then eventually I would start feeling guilty. I can make fun of the lady next door who is always screaming on her three small kids and has ruffled grey hair that she never combs. But then, struggling parents would start their what-do-you-know crap. Ah, till I learn, I’ll just read.
On a remotely similar note, here is a recent conversation between me and the Boy. Maybe I can record these and start my humour posts. That should work, right?
Me: I’m so glad I don’t have a job. I really can't take any scolding.
Boy: If you were me, tumhara kya hota?
Me: Awwww babyyy... your boss scolds you a lot?
Boy: No. You do.