Tuesday, April 1, 2014

A is for ... Aunty - I am not!



When I was a kid, I thought sindoor (vermilion) and mangalsutra (a piece of jewellery symbolising Hindu marriage) led to children. Yes, I was a smart kid and knew birds and bees didn’t make babies. Similarly, anyone who was married had to be addressed as aunty. Ok not similarly, I just wanted you to know how superbly aware I was as a child!

So, anyway, this whole aunty culture in India is so annoying. Firstly, aunty is not even a word. Secondly, why can’t a random person say ‘excuse me’ or just refer to me by my name? If I am your father’s sister, bua is great. If I am your mother’s relative, maasi is my favourite name. But aunty... we do need some rules in our country.

The worst part is that this categorzation comes as a side effect of being married. Before marriage I had no clue that suddenly your face starts to wrinkle and from a sweet didi(elder sister) you become an aging aunty! It has been 5 years and I am still not over the fact that a few kids call me aunty. I am afraid to make friends with older people; because their overgrown kids might just end up calling me aunty. What will I do then? - abuse them and start a sentence with ‘What’s up, Yo?’ Oh hell, how else am I suppose to tell them that I am as cool as them and I break bad too!

When parents teach their children to respect elders, they should give them a guide wherein they should specify whom they are allowed to call aunty and who should just be who she is! A cute looking 30-something lady should certainly not be referred to as an aunty. If I am not your friend’s mother, then refrain from calling me an aunty. Lastly, if I am at a counter and you need to walk past me, ‘excuse me’ is a perfectly nice way to get ahead. Anything that starts with aunty will be met with a frown and a possible foot squashing.

However, there are a few exceptions to the rule. If your father is a handsome looking man and you’ve inherited your mother’s awful looks, then I am your aunty. If you believe in buying presents and flowers for women who could be your aunty, I would welcome you with open arms. 


That is it – only for gifts and a cute looking man will I stoop to aunty level. In all other situations I am your hot neighbour, a crazy friend of your mother, a cute-looking stranger, angel if you may please – but not an aunty!

19 comments:

  1. "A cute looking 30-something lady should certainly not be referred to as an aunty." Definitely not!

    This aunty culture is over hyped and over used in India. I mean in the west they call it 'Aunt Mary' etc, which is atleast pleasing to the ear. Soumya aunty drives me up the wall and all I want to do is push that vicious kid into the nearest gutter. I wouldn't mind being addressed as Mrs. XYZ either. But aunty is a serious no no.

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    1. We just use Aunty as default. These actors are so lucky - we call Hema Malini by her name. That doesn't mean we don't respect her!!! *just wondering*

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  2. Your aversion to being addressed as aunty save on two occasions has been brought out well and seems reasonable.But the kids learn this undesirable habit from peers and moms

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    1. Ya, true. I call a lot of people aunty as well. Actually I don't know how they will react if I don't! Infact when I tell kids not to call me aunty, I'm looked down upon as being insecure about my age. It is a vicious circle. I hope it ends someday!

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  3. hahahahahaahh so much anger. I agree because my God I walk around in my Lawyers gown, Batman style and kids call me aunty :(

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    1. Aww! But atleast you are super cool aunty then :p

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  4. Hi Nisha and welcome to A to Z! You have to have boundaries. Otherwise, people will set them for you. For better or worse. Usually it's worse.

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    1. That's profound, Stephen. I should probably be more vocal and start telling kids not to call me aunty. That would definitely be a start!

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  5. OMG ! we went out with my hubby's friend who got married five years back and their kid called me AUNTY :P eewwwwwwww how much I hated it..

    This Aunty Phenomenon gets more and more rampant if you are wearing a saree or suit or you are spotted with a baby..God can only save you

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    1. That's exactly what I said - aunty comes as a side effect of being married. Now c'mon, a pretty girl in a halter neck blouse and a flimsy saree should not be addressed as aunty!!!

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  6. LOL :D This brought some smiles this morning!! I can empathize with the thought shared here! While I am ok with kids calling me Auny but a 20 something college graduate calling a 30 something me an AUNTY, is blasphemy!

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    1. Haha! See that's the problem.. what else will a 20-something call us? Calling elders by name is considered rude in India. Unfortunately!

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  7. Anonymous4/02/2014

    I am still laughing:). But this post reminded me how aghast I was when for the first time I was refereed as aunty post marriage and the husband as bhaiya, I had to work hard to control my tears and politely respond to the query.

    We don't put sindoor, mangalsutra, toe rings, where the same cloths or even fancier than before marriage butI fail to understand how they know we are married. Cute little toddlers calling that word if okay but what with the teenage kids. Anyway I digress. My restlessness came to rest only when after some days the husband was also called uncle. Nice post :) And all the best for the challenge. I know you are going to do a great job :)

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    1. hahahha!!! That must be so funny - you an aunty, the husband, bhaiya! I would have given a good one to the kid!
      We are all learning to deal with the whole thing, however silly it is!

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  8. I got into trouble recently for calling someone aunty... guess aunty communicates you're old :-)

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    1. Also aunty sometimes mean 'not classy'! I mean a 50-year old aunty is aunty... but a 30-year old 'aunty' is someone who is not well groomed. That's just what I have understood :)

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  9. The best thing about Blogosphere is that no one greets the other person as uncle or aunty!
    They call the name which is good :)
    P.S: I'm 21 and one day, out of nowhere, a kid called me uncle! -_- I dunno what went through his mind. (Probably the excessive beard was the reason). So, I can relate to the anger that suddenly erupts! :P

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  10. I swear I hate this aunty business..!!

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  11. Worst is when unmarried people call Aunty to the married ones, doesn't matter the age difference. These people don't want to think if there is any significant age difference? Its so annoying that grown ups.... who have marriageable age and are like working in companies have so little mind when talking to neighbors etc. They will have thier own didis and bhabhis of much higher age but when you are not related then you are an aunty. How annoying is that. I feel if there is a visible 20/25 yrs age difference, Aunty can still be taken. but with 4/8 years age difference, AUNTY is surely UNACCEPTABLE.

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)