Sunday, February 6, 2022

A Friend in Need

 

Why do I come here whenever I am a little lost? Why this need to write it all down and want the world to read it? No wonder we have so many people who are sad in life and are writers! But hey, at least they write fiction.

I can also write fiction. So, I met a girl last evening. She seemed all sorted and happy and having the time of her life. We got into talking and one thing led to the other and she told me she was suffering. She had chronic pain which kept her awake at night. She wouldn’t cry but when she would see sunlight she would feel miserable and question why was this happening to her. Day would pass, pain would become a memory because of the pills she was taking, and gradually she would think of all the good things in her life and feel grateful. That is when she met people like me when she seemed her happiest self.

And then the pain would come back. She tells me it could be worse. She has read forums where people end up in hospitals due to pain. She says at least she doesn’t have a mental illness, at least she can meditate and de-stress herself. I just nod along because I don’t know what to tell her. She is completely sorted, just like I told you she was. There is no advice to give, no consolation. She starts to talk about the weather, and I know she wants to end this discussion. We move on to trivial things in life and just like that she starts laughing and making jokes.

We live in a funny world. Our parents told us not to share our misery. Our friends, media and education tell us to open up. As much as I would like to discuss my problems, it’s not easy. I would feel judged. And I wouldn’t want to get use to it. Imagine if this girl was telling her ‘sob story’ to every person she met. Imagine if this is all she could talk about because it consumed her entire day and she really didn’t have much else to discuss, would you want to meet her frequently? Now if she hid her scars and be her funny self, you would call her a positive, bubbly girl who brings you joy. Of course she would hesitate to tell you about her pain and have the title taken away from her!

So, what’s the middle ground? Should we all see therapists to discuss our woes? Or maybe we should have one best friend who knows it all and gives us consolation. We be transparent with that one person and a different individual with the rest of the world. What if that one person gets bored, moves away, or has reasons not to listen to us? Then we find another. Or better still, write a journal/blog because it is cathartic.

May we all find that one outlet that gives us a deep sense of happiness. May we have a friend, can tell a tale, paint a story, or sing a tune to escape our misfortune. And may we always, always keep our happy crown in place because fake or real, a smile does resolve our sorrow.

Ah, who knew a fictitious girl can teach you so much in just one little interaction!

2 comments:

  1. "Our parents told us not to share our misery. Our friends, media and education tell us to open up"

    This one line summarises the story for people like me. I can live with being labelled as "a loner" but can't stand people around me talking about the pains in my life.

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    Replies
    1. You need to choose the people you share your pains with. The right people will not talk about it at all. I totally believe in sharing because it gives me several insights which I may not have otherwise.

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)