Best Present

Memories. They bring back smiles, they remind you of the tears, and if you have a happy present, they all add up to the best you could have ever had.

There was a time I use to love thinking about the past and the future. I cherished small memories and use to relive them each day. I use to wonder about the future and think if it would be happy. There were things I never imagined I could ever have. There were things I never imagined I could ever lose. Things fell into place only for the better, and I thank God for that.

I realised early in life that no matter how much I think about the past or future, it would not change my present. ‘Whatever will be, will be’ became my motto in life. And that made me a very happy person.

I was going through some diary notes and old poems today. Every word had a reflection of my state of mind in that year. I smiled at some amazing memories that flashed and had a strange feeling about the sad ones. And then, like time had stopped, there were no entries after a while.

And I realised that it was the time when I stopped worrying about past and future. That was the time I started living my life. Does this mean, we write more only when we want to capture the moment and want to relive it in the future? Really, words are all I have of my past. I’m not even 30, but my memory has had a serious loss! And when I read those words, they bring back a clear picture.

I guess I’m trying to say that it’s best to save our thoughts in our heads. Scratch your brains if you want to relive a special occasion. If you pen down every incident in your life, it will surely bring back some sad moments back in your present. Life is too short to think about them. Today is the best day of your life. Live it!

Do you agree!?

So you know, I gave that crap again. Some inspiring lines about life in general. Oh, and I said it on Facebook. So there were bound to be comments. Ofcourse, why else would I post something if I didn't want some attention!! Ok, that deserves another post. Anyway, like always, there was someone who thought the statement wasn't true.

Now, I don't know that person well to make a judgment. And it's not really important if that statement/quote/saying holds true or not. What's important is that if someone is trying to infuse some positive energy into your stressful life, you embrace it or try to rationalize it?

If I say, "with all the drudgery, its still a beautiful life", you can either say if there's drudgery how can life be beautiful. Or, you can sigh and agree with me. If you disagree you're just looking at the negative aspects and creating further stress. Isn't it better to go with a positive person than trying to prove how she is over-the-top optimistic!?

Really, I don't know how such people will survives years of agony at home and stress at work. Believe it or not, being positive is not an easy job. It requires years of conditioning. You might be so engrossed in your rational world, that this might be of little significance to you. But someday, when you will reflect upon your life and think of the bad times, you will realise how different things would have been had you been more agreeable with people who tried to bring a smile on your face!

Incredible India?

The Commonwealth Games is the hottest topic on every Indian's mind. When I went to Delhi last month, I was stunned by the Domestic and International Terminal. Delhi roads and the idea of re-designing Connaught place impressed me too. It all looked pretty neat from the outside.

And then the scams hit the headlines. The treadmill and the toilet paper made more noise than anything else. Forging documents, teams walking out and leaking rooftops were breaking the news.

The inquiries will set in, there will be questioning and eventually things will die out. Even if there is a leak and spectators experience discomfort, the nation will forget after a while.

Only the tourist will remember each and every detail. They will take back memories of Incredible India as Disturbing India. If the babu's up there can be corrupt, do you think the taxi wala's will listen to Amir Khan? Do you really think Khan power is more encouraging than our 'exemplary' leaders?

The recent floods at Leh have been devastating. I was there just 10 days before the calamity and the place was full of foreign tourists perhaps more foreigners than Goa. There are thousands stranded at the Leh airport even after 12 days. Shouldn't the government be responsible to bring them back? The image has been shattered. Those outside who have been watching the news would think every tourist destination in India is incapable of doing anything for the visitors. The result is not difficult to imagine.

It won't be a surprise if CWG is a failure and if India's image is worsened. I just hope we, as citizens, fare better than our leaders in what we do best - being hospitable. I hope, if nothing else, the Khan power works and people take warm memories from the games.

Sheddin' a tear or two..

- So I cry everytime I leave my parents house. I hate parting. Even if I know I'll be back in no time, bidding adieu is the toughest thing to do for me.

This time I was strong. I smiled all through. Just as the car moved, my four year old niece said 'come back soon'. Hearing something like that from her made me bawl like a baby!!

- My mother-in-law is the sweetest person on earth. When she asked me to do something only a mother would, I spared no time and shed a tear or two!

- It's amazing. Even when I know there is 'something' I can never have and I've made up my mind that its no big deal, every time someone mentions things related to 'it', I have eyes full of tears. Why do we want everything in life? And why are 'somethings' so important?

When someone says something nice, when someone mentions a short coming, I get emotional. Is it a sign of immaturity?

My problem is why do we need to control our emotions when emotions are all we live for?

Someday I'll start a blog with only answers to these super-tough questions. Till then, I'll jump like a moron with happiness and cry like a baby when sad, what is life otherwise.

Love cont.

I'm new, into a marriage that is. It's been 1.5 years and still feels like it has always been this way. I loved my life without the wife tag. And I love my life with it. Nothing has changed or so it seems. If nothing more, my life has become better.

This makes me wonder, why do people dread marriage? If 2 people fall in love, have a strong bond and feel they can live with each other for the rest of their lives, then why do they fear registering it? There's always a risk involved, there's always this feeling of not being able to work it out, but isn't it a risk worth taking?

All the girls my age who got married around the same time as me, are crazy in love. 1-2 years is good enough a time to know things are sailing smooth. Again, future is unpredictable, but the present, well, all the girls admit - is lots of fun!

Is it too soon to tell? Are they pretending? Or, do we always look forward to something worse? If a couple is happy we fear something is about to ruin their happiness. When I talk about the newly wed girls, I do have a large database. Most of them feel they are still having an affair, just with a different last name. Could we ask for more?

If marriage is such a good thing, then why even after a certain age we feel we are not ready? And if we say we are, we have that unsettling feeling which tells us all is not well. Are we ever ready?

I know marriage is a Big thing. It requires commitment and adjustment. It requires patience, tolerance and a lot of understanding. There, that's why we fear it. We are afraid we might not be able to give our all to the relationship and wreck it in the end. What we fear more is how the other person might not be able to give his all in return.

If you're in love and you think you're almost there, I think marriage deserves a chance. No, its not trial and error. But if you're willing to walk your bit and have a little faith in your choice of partner, then be sure of succeeding at it. You'll never be ready. It will never be a cake-walk. It will require hard work. If you're willing to ignore the work you're putting in and concentrate on the beautiful results, love will continue happily ever after.

Just like in my case. And I'm not pretending.

Two different worlds

I've had the opportunity to be super lazy lately. I've been traveling with my husband for his work, so no household work means no work and all play.

No work and all play also means a lot of contemplation. Stupid questions like 'what am I doing with my life', 'Am I good at anything at all', blah blah come to my mind often. I pay no heed to these baseless doubts. My funda in life is clear, think less do more. Just one drawback, I do plan a lot and so the funda goes awry!

Anyway, to keep myself from thinking too much I watch a whole lot of tvduck. Now that's a site where you have all these angrezi drama series,sitcoms etc. Most first episodes have disappointed me. I started with Sex and the City and got absolutely hooked. What fascinated me was obviously, the amount of sex these women crave for! That and the female bonding which is as much fun to watch as the real coffee dates with my girl gang.

Another thing that's keeping me busy is the fascination for the world I see around me. The women behind veils and their life without them. I've read Girls of Riyadh and been reading Daughters of Arabia. You have to read these books to know what goes on in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Clearly I detest that country. Bahrain shares a boundary with it and recently we went for a drive there. Now I know, I even detest the air around that country!

I have nothing against any religion. I have friends, very good friends having different belief systems. I get extremely interested when they talk about their faith. It's the freedom of women that make me hate the country.

So there's liberty in Sex and the City where women sleep with different men every week till they find the right guy.They live independent lives, wear sultry clothes, and do what their heart desires. Whereas, here is one alien land where women are not allowed to drive, can't go out if not escorted by a male guardian, marry and divorce a man according to his willingness, let him have several partners and not say a word against it, i can go on and on.

I'm sure Middle East would be the area with the highest per capita expenditure on make up, perfumes, and bags. That's because, well, firstly these are the only things visible because of the abaya and secondly, they are immensely insecure about their relationships. I happen to meet a girl from the 'celebrated' land and the stories she told me were both amusing and disturbing.

I feel blessed to be born in the land where we are free. We have the right to sleep with several men and wear whatever we feel like. What we can do and what we do is another issue altogether. But atleast I know that I won't die in a building which is on fire just because the firemen wouldn't rescue me since I was not dressed properly. Really, this happened.

I recommend you both SatC and Daughters of Arabia or Princess for that matter. I also recommend you to read and watch these two at the same time. You'll feel stunned and blessed and your love for India will grow manifold.

Deadline uploaded

I just scanned through my posts in 2007... the year I started blogging. I love all the posts! Makes me wonder why I don't blog anymore. Its like a life's journal. You can see the state of mind clearly through those posts.

Probably when you're writing for a living you have the 'flow'. Now that I rarely do that, and I clearly cant explain why, I'm at a loss for words.

And so, I've decided. I have a story idea... for a book. As of now, I dont know if I'll publish it. I have no clue how I will go about it. I don't know if someone will read it! But write, I will.

Why am I writing this here? Well, I have a tendency to drop things even before I start. Writing this down helps me make a commitment. I also need a deadline. Lets make it April 2011.

It all sounds very stupid. What the heck, this is my space, my journal. Laugh if you wanna, i'll see you in 2011. With or without 'the book'!