Three Zero - 30.

Don’t tell me that 30 is the new 20.

Did you worry about the lines that appeared on your skin when you were 20?

Did you think marriage, babies, property, investments, a healthy heart, were the most important things in the world when you were 20?

Did you curl up on your sofa on a Saturday night thinking the club is too loud when you were 20?

Did you feel like wearing as many skimpy clothes as you can so that you don’t look funny when the age ain’t right, when you were 20?

Did you miss melodious songs and thought the songs of ‘this generation’ suck when you were 20?

Did you drink green tea, ate almonds, drank milk at your own will when you were 20?

Did you spot a gray hair and not screamed out of disbelief when you were 20?

Stop fooling yourself. Embrace 30. As it is, you can’t do much about it. It’s just a number. Feel happy to be alive. Live in the present. Sing 18 till I die. It’s not how you look, it’s what you feel inside.

Blah Blah Blah!

As you can make out I’m going to turn 30 soon and the feeling can’t get worse. How was your experience? Warning - Please don’t repeat any lines from the last paragraph.

Yak, yak, yak...

The weather today was comparable to Zurich. Thankyou Global warming. And weather apps on smart phones.

People are falling in love on Indian television. Sex is no longer a taboo in TV serials. If you were one of the millions who saw Bade Ache Lagte Hain ‘that’ night and found it gross, you are not alone. Ekta Kapoor, please bring back the saree and heavy jewellery to the bedroom. We’ll watch the likes of Vicky Donor, laugh and learn about the birds and bees. Watching stout men pulling sarees and ugly women breathing heavily is simply distasteful.

On a slightly similar note, not showing Dirty Picture was a stupid decision. When will we grow up? Kids are smart these days, they need to watch everything. Everything.

How smart are tracing widgets? Will it be better if you knew who visited you? Facebook will face a run for its money if it showed who spied on whom. Orkut had an app before which was used only by a handful. I removed the widget from my blog as well. Now you can come and go, no one will know. Although, it would have been nice if I could visit you somewhere as well.
Sometimes technology can drive you insane!

S & P might downgrade India. The rupee will weaken. We will get a better rate if we want to transfer money to India. The land we’ve bought might slightly lose its current value. Skyrocketing petrol prices will reach newer heights. Inflation will increase further. Yet, we are happy that we will get a better rate.
Being happy about this is just as naïve as thanking global warming for the awesome weather. What else can we do?

Keep yakking!

5 of the million reasons I Love my India

I’m in India for yet another vacation. Every day there are numerous household chores that I crib about. You know, you buy the milk, boil it, take out the malai at night, store it, and God knows what all needs to be done next. Laundry is worst. Washing, hanging, folding and ironing takes 2 days. It’s simpler at home – milk comes out of the can and clothes come out clean from the machine and ironed from the dryer in 1.5 hours flat.

Anyway, the luxuries make Middle East our haven but in India, it’s the things money can’t buy that take our breath away.

Take cold coffee for example. Nowhere in the world has it tasted better. Costa’s Coffee Cooler was the first thing I had on landing at Delhi’s T3. It’s another thing that I rechecked twice with the cashier when he told me that the bill for two coffees was Rs. 480. Nevertheless I relished every drop of it!

I went to watch Vicky Donor today. It was a laugh riot. The theatre was abuzz with whistles and applause whenever the word ‘sperm’ or ‘fuddu’ came up. Can you bring people throwing coins at the screen to any other part of the world?

I’ve already mentioned one food item. It would be unfair if I don’t talk about desi chilli chicken, kachoris, chola bhatura, kulfi, gulab jamun, kebabs, biryani and what I drink twice a day these days – mango shake! We have Mac Donalds, Pizza hut and Dominoes in Bahrain, still, the menu tastes so much better here. Maybe it’s in the air.

I love it when you know someone in just about every field. The Boy underwent a surgery this week. We knew the orthopaedic surgeon. He performed the surgery and called us at night to ask about the Boy. What else do you want? Yes, we got a hefty discount as well! In Bahrain, you pay at every step and not even in your dreams can you expect a doctor to call you!

The welcome we receive from friends and family is super cool. I think that is one advantage of being an NRI – you get special attention! Stupid Airtel has disconnected my 7-year old India number because it wasn’t used for 3 months. All my loved ones have tried that number and said some gawar guy picks it up! They’ve all tried to connect with me in different ways which makes me feel so loved.
You can go around the world but the way your family and old friends treat you makes India most special.

Nine... is it?

It's always a pleasure to count the number of years you've been together with your partner. It's fun when the person in front of you feels jealous and secretively counts the number of years he's been with his love!

It's been 9 for me. He caught me with a cheesy line and I gave in. He asked me if I was committed, and I told him it was on the rocks. Can't believe I said that. He fell in love with me soon after, and I ignored him. That day and today, I'm still running after him!

We never fight. When I confess this in front of someone, they make me think it’s a bad thing. I love him and he loves me. If there is something he's not comfortable with, I don't go ahead. And he, he always puts my comfort first. Neither of us has ever compromised. We just adjust to make each other happy. Probably it’s a good thing that he hardly ever says no! I feel guilty if I dominate him too much like all doting wives. When I apologise for the same, the guilt transfers!

Is it bad that there is too much understanding and warmth? It’s been nine years and we know each other through and through. The surprises that come our way amuse us rather than make us want to kill each other. Are we missing on the thrill of make-up sex!?

I guess not. I hate the sulking and brooding that goes into a fight. I wouldn’t want to trade my smiles with anything else! If the world is jealous with our 9 years, let them be. Some people call us role models. I’d try to live with just that!

Reality Bytes, err, Bites.

Honesty is the best policy but not all of us are brave enough to blurt out the truth. More often than not, we say something but feel exactly the opposite. Sometimes I've been blatantly honest. I've always regretted that. People want you to be nice rather than frank. What do you do? Simple, tame your tongue, something that I'm still learning.



You say: I’m a little full right now.
When You want to say: I spend an hour in the gym, eat a salad for dinner, drool while walking across a bakery…yes, you jackass, I’m on a diet and not all Samosas are worth the effort!


You say: Yes we will *smile*.
When You want to say: I’d rather freeze my eggs till eternity than have a kid before my 1st wedding anniversary. We’re not rats. Maybe we are child-hating weirdoes’. Go figure. Instead of asking me, go ask your own daughter if she knows how to have sex during the three ‘magical’ ovulation days!

You say: I don’t know how the day passes.
When you want to say: I cook, clean, watch tv, socialise, shop, exercise, chat, sleep, read, write and well, breathe. You’ll be jealous of my awesome-housewife life. Oh wait, you already are!

You say: Really, I didn’t notice that.
When you want to say: I already read where you went, when you went, how you looked crappy in your swimming costume and what you did during your four days in Goa. I might not update my status message for months, but I keep an eye, or rather several eyes on Facebook all day!

You say: Oh, your child is so cute.
When you want to say: I think she has a squint. And why the hell she’s so grumpy all the time? I’m not a child-hating weirdo, but seriously, all kids are not cute!

You say: It’s just a game.
When you want to say: Why the hell did I agree to play in the first place.

You say:It's fun.
When you want to say: My boss is a character straight out of a Vampire series and my colleagues are the Who's who of Indian Television. Every morning, it is only the thought of my pay slip that makes me wake up. You still want to know how's my job?



Ah, wish I could speak as smoothly as I could write this. Wish my face didn't divulge my thoughts before my mouth! Do you wish the same?

I feel you Louve!

I use to write scores of cute Louve poems. Then love-dove-above, you-too-blue, may-stay-gay(?), etc, etc, etc were used far too much! And so I stopped. Today, Valentines day wanted me to write another kiddish lovey-dovey poem. And so I did... this one's for you my Boy!



I feel love when I hold you tight
Your love makes every day look so bright
The morning peck makes everything look so easy
You’re my life, today, it doesn’t seem so cheesy!

I feel love when you do little things for me
Making a chapati, since when was that your duty!?
When you want to lose scrabble just to make me smile
Your kindness makes everything worthwhile!

I feel love when I sit beside you
Doing our own thing, without a clue
Suddenly millions of kisses come zooming at me
I feel your love, all the time baby!

Living in the Fear

It’s an anniversary. Not a good one though. Last year on 14th February, the day of love, was the Day of Rage in Bahrain. Protestors gathered from various villages and sat on the Pearl Roundabout. They demanded the King to be dethroned and new elections to be held in the Parliament.

We have seen a lot in the last one year. A country that was constantly partying turned into a morose land of supporters and protestors. After a month of agony, the Pearl was torn down to shoo the protestors away. We had fled the country in fear of the worst. Thankfully, I was not here to witness those harrowing 2 hours when the phones conked, curfew was imposed and the country went into deep silence.

Several arrests were made thereafter and we heard gory rumors. We went back to partying but were always on the alert. Our favourite lounge which opened into a beautiful sea smelled of tear gas from the near-by village. The shops have always been on sale. The ones which haven’t are out of business. Several people found jobs elsewhere, others were laid off. Some protestors were fired for not attending office for more than a month; others stopped working and were worse off than ever before.

I’m sure life in the villages has been affected drastically. It seems only 1% of the population wants to protest, others are just being forced into it and so live a torturous life. Some are frustrated with what’s going on and want the drama to end; peacefully or violently. On the face of it, nobody likes aggression especially when the regime is not that bad. They justify their protest by calling it a biased kingdom, have you seen a country which isn’t?

I’m scared right now. The coming week is crucial. I don’t want to hear about fights with swords and Molotov cocktails. I want my husband to go to work and come back safely. I don’t want to hear about any procession. I want my Bahrain to get back to normal. I wish people understood that life is worse for the poor in other countries. I wish someone put more sense into them than provoke the innocent teenagers to put the buildings on fire.

May peace be with us!