Tuesday, April 7, 2020

G is for…Granny


The stories were interesting, the gestures had become warmer, well, at the age of 79, she looked like the kindest one.

Since I knew about her exploitative side too, I never cared for her much. Mom never shared her experiences lest it influence our opinion of her, but me and my sister had overheard every ugly deed of Granny and drew our own inference. However, I never expected she would go this far.

We were chit-chatting over a cup of tea. Granny sat curled on her spot on the bed in her white cotton nighty bought by my aunt from the streets of Bandra. ‘My dad was the wisest person on earth. He found your grandfather for me and married me into a wealthy family. I have vivid memories of him from Karachi…’ I was listening to her half-heartedly since this was my hundredth encounter with memoirs from Pakistan.

My wedding was just a week later, and I wanted to spend whatever little time I had with each family member. What if my mother-in-law turns out like Granny and doesn’t allow me to come home over false pretexts?

I had seen very little of my Nani since Granny came up with terrible excuses whenever we were to leave for Indore. When I was 10, she twisted her ankle just the night before our train and demanded to be bed ridden for a fortnight. I clearly remember that because I had to put away a stack of Pinki comics that I were to read on the train in my pre-chosen corner berth. I thought of this as an emergency and decided not to show my disappointment. Plus, mom promised me a barbie set when I had thrown a tantrum in the morning.

‘My mother taught me how to make chapatis, I make the softest ones. I will teach you tomorrow,’ Granny continued with pride.

‘Mom already taught me; I just need practice.’

‘But I make better ones. Even halwa, I will tell you how to make.’

‘Fine.’ I didn’t want to argue with her.

I thought of my 12th birthday when mom had made lunch for the entire extended family. We were happily sitting and relishing a delicious halwa for dessert when my uncle exclaimed, ‘No one makes this better than Maa..’

‘Oh no, I would have never put such little ghee and sugar. This tastes like a poor man’s meal,’ Granny had added quickly.

At that moment I suddenly felt the sugar was low too and asked mom for a spoonful. I understand now how furious she would have been at that point, and how I must have added to her sorrow.

‘When you have children...’ Granny said waking me up from my nostalgia.

Arre Dadi, let me get married first!’

‘No. Listen. When you have children, make sure you massage them the right way. I will teach you. Had your mom done my way, your legs would have been stronger, and you would have not been weak like you are now.’

I looked at her in disbelief. What if she had said the same thing when I was 14 and looking for answers? I wanted to give her a lecture on massage, children, parenthood, and most importantly, my medical condition. Yet I chose to pick up my cup, finish the last bit, and just walk away, because my halwa or chapatis might or might not turn out the best, but my values had.

Throughout the week Granny kept pushing me to learn things from her, but I told her how she had already taught me a lot. She had taught me the greatest lessons in what not to do.

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This story is a part of AtoZ challenge by Blogchatter. For the 2020 challenge, I'll be writing some travel stories and some stories that originate in my life but find a way to this blog through fiction.



28 comments:

  1. Grandmas have much wisdom. Maybe it comes out a little late as it happened here.

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    1. It was wisdom alright 😄
      Thank you for reading!

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  2. Your post found an echo somewhere in my life! Its tough but yes, we also need to learn what not to do from our elders .

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    1. Unfortunately the last generation of mils weren't the best and so this was the case in many households.

      Please post link to your blog next time :)

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  3. Why do I feel I've heard this story before??? Ah...Maybe in my own house years ago.
    My grandmother is no more but we remember her for both her sweet and not so sweet renderings. Both so typical of grandmothers from old times. Great read.

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    1. I hope that's not the case for our next generation and we remember our grandmothers for their kindness and kindness only!

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  4. Nisha I didn't know you are participating. I just saw an intriguing title and visited the blog. And then I discovered it's you. I'm so glad!

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    1. Thank you for dropping by! I have been here since 13 years now, love blogging :)

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  5. This seems like it's taken right out of a TV serial. Sometimes it can be pretty difficult to deal with the mannerisms of a certain family member. I feel you. The solace lies in not having to spend all your life under that roof. You're handling it pretty well, however.

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    1. I guess TV serials take cues from real life incidents like this one. Only the make-up and bangles in the morning are made up!!!!

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  6. Nice one. I was told that I don't know how to make sindhi curry ;) More on this when we talk! Write more stories please.

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    1. Haha.. i still dont know how to make sindhi kadhi!! One day 😀

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    2. Also, I am loving story writing for now, this will go on!

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  7. Thank God you learnt something from her ;-) yes such grannies are great teachers..I am glad you learnt the right lessons from her

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  8. Grnadmas always have their own wisdom that they want to impart to us. But all their wisdom is not always wise.

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    1. True that!
      Thanks for reading.

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    2. Please leave a link to your blog when you visit next! :)

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  9. Word! Some grandmas are better as cautionary examples...

    The Multicolored Diary

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    1. Haha.. well said!! Applies to a lot of relatives!

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  10. Loved reading this- you have a good writer’s voice. My granny may have upset my mother sometimes with a few unreasonable demands, but she was never like that with us. It was as if we had a separate relationship that we both really cherished.
    www.nooranandchawla.com

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    1. My grandmother was good to us too. But as children, when you hear someone say something against your parents, you develop some sort of dislike towards them. It is hard to change an opinion that is formed in your early years.

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  11. Hey Nisha.
    This is my first visit to your blog.
    Coincidentally, I'm writing about my grandparents,too, as part of a mini memoir of sorts--mostly focusing on my early years.
    What struck me after reading your post was just how different our two dadis were.
    And what a lot of difference unconditional love from grandparents can make to a life.
    I like the sentence about 'values'--well said.

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    1. How sweet! I will hop on to your blog now and read. Thanks for visiting!

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  12. This is different as opposed to all cute cuddly granny types stories. I have a grandmother and she means the world to me. She does say things like you're too skinny, she complains about food, sometimes the things she says hurt. But it is when we tell her that it was painful that she realizes that. Initially I used to be furious. But gradually we all understood. Sometimes they just don't get it. And they're too old to remember and change. But my grandmother tries. She says something she shouldn't have, remembers that she shouldn't have and then tries to turn it into a joke, or apologizes. And I think that's a million steps for their generation!

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    1. Well, my grandmother was sweet at times too. I'd say she had her moments :)

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  13. Somehow I feel we should have not walked away with the cup but told them for what they did... If every one of us had actually told each one of them where what was not to be done.. Especially to your own kind... Then this would have probably completely stopped. This hope of hoping the next generation finds it better has left tot bits and may be whole of this somewhere or the other. And this can only stop when each one of us decide not to walk away hoping for the next! Whatever be the generation the gender is the same end of the day!

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    1. Ira, it is not that simple always, is it? I've never been the types who would argue with someone. And to make people understand, you first have to handle a debate!
      Also, I don't believe it would have stopped even if we told each other everything. This topic deserves another blog post in itself! :)

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)