I started dating the Boy in REAL in 2004. I say real because
before that we were one of those creepy people who chatted online. I was so
paranoid that I didn’t even talk to him on phone, but webcam was ok!
Anyway, people talked about training a guy. I had no idea
what training meant. I was happy with him being sweet to me. That’s all I
wanted in a guy. He was no dog who needed training! But then, girls want gifts
and cards and flowers and chocolates. This lad knew nothing about that. I
really don’t know what his previous girlfriends taught him, but he was a
dumbass when it came to buying gifts for his girlfriend.
So one day I told him to buy me a card. He agreed. I waited
with a smile on my face and butterflies in my stomach. Yes, that’s how long I
waited. He bought me a card alright. He gave it to me alright. But…but…he wrote
nothing inside! The card was blank. I didn’t train him quite well, I thought.
Next time, I told him to write me a letter. I had learnt my
lesson well. I knew he would write four lines and say I just asked him to write
me a letter. So, I told him to write me a letter in 100 words.
He wrote a letter to me alright. He sent me alright. But…but…he
started with – I woke up at 10 this morning, brushed my teeth, took a bath…you
get the drift. This is not all. Under each word he wrote a number – 1,2,3,4,…100.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was exactly 100
words. And because I asked him to write 100 words, he justified writing about
his daily routine.
And here we are, after 4 years of dating and 4 years of
marriage, still at the same place. He says if I’ll give you gifts and cards and
flowers and surprises, your expectations will increase. I couldn’t train him.
But he did.
I don’t make him breakfast on weekends. It’s been four years
and I haven’t cooked a meal on a weekend. If he asks me for breakfast, I tell
him to manage on his own. I tell him, 'If I make it once, your expectations
will increase. Weekend food is your responsibility. I’m not entering the
kitchen'.
Hi-five for that!
As far the guy telling you if I give you gifts, cards, flowers, etc that would raise your expectations, I too have been told so, so you aren't alone there Nisha ;)
ReplyDeleteGood going girl!
Somehow I have met a lot of husbands lately who give awesome surprises to their wives. When I tell the Boy about those men, he starts counting their negative qualities. As usual, I lose!
Deletethis is such an awesomely cool post !! I wanna hi-fi him first - for that wonderfully numbered 'LOVE LETTER' !!
ReplyDeleteThat was a true LOL moment :)
Men will be men! Anyway, we still LOL when we think about the letter. I just can't get angry on that one!
DeleteNo kitchen on weekend for you and he does it,now that's called training... way to go..
ReplyDeletehope to achieve this sort of training on my Man in future ;-)
Well, I believe this sort of 'training' is only possible in the first year of marriage. Such difficult rules can only be made when you are still considered a 'bechari' in the kitchen. No one will listen to you in the later years!
DeleteO teri! Makes me feel that I have seen too may Yashraj movies. I wooed Geet with flowers, chocolates, cards, teddy bears, love letter, songs and what not! And that happened after our Arranged marriage was finalized and there was a gap of six months between roka and marriage.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, even after all this, the no kitchen on weekend applies in our relationship as well. So, the end result is the same. :)
As far as I know you through your blog, I'm sure you would have done all this! I've been trained so well that even if he brings me water from the kitchen I'm all 'Thankyouuuuuu'! hahaha
DeleteI'm glad the end result is the same. Geet has all her hands full ;)
Wow..that was one hell of an honest admission. And yes, the love letter was a big LOL. He sure has wit. But the weekend arrangement makes up for it alright. Loved the post Nisha :)
ReplyDeleteNo, the weekend arrangement doesn't make up for it. But I would like to believe it does. That's how marriages work - one person has to settle for less :D
DeleteI hope you have treasured that letter! You should actually laminate it - lest the paper will be yellowy and prone to wear and tear with time and look like the files in Govt offices! Really good post! Wishing you many more years of togetherness. I could relate with you - as my hubby is a baby when it comes to buying gifts and surprising me. Instead on my birthday he takes me to the shop I love and lets me select what I want. Its better that way too! :-)
ReplyDeleteLol! Framing it would encourage him and he will think he did an awesome thing. Although it makes for a great story, it has given me years of gift-less occasions.
DeleteAnd you're sweet Anita. I've shopped a wholeeee lot from his money. He tells me to spend as much as I want. But I'm greedy. I want everything that I don't get. Somehow it keeps life interesting!
It is awesome!!! The love letter is simply too good!! :D And I totally agree with his principle of the expectations. . I will be following it! :P
ReplyDeletePrinciple of expectations is fine. But please don't deprive a girl by not giving her any gifts. Find a new way to manage expectations!
DeleteHaving said all that, it takes a lifetime of good Karma to get a husband like mine :)
Oh my Gawd..So I am not the only lonely soul on this planet who has gone through this and still does..My fiancee never gave me any flowers,gifts..On our engagement whatevr bouquets he got he gave me saying these flowers will last u a life time!!!So I dun hv to buy more!! Now He is my hubby of 1 n half yrs n yes he is till d same..no gifts,no cards,no flowers..no surprises on special days:-(( And he had said the same dialogue to me abt raising my expectations..
ReplyDeleteOh but he does write poems for me!!!
http://shilpikarnani.blogspot.in/
Shilpi, only lucky women have poet husbands. Make your peace with it :)
DeleteAnd good one on the flowers, I can so relate to the feeling you must have had!
nice
ReplyDeleteI am your follower number 70,any gift for me? :)
Do follow back if you like
xoxo
vandana
http://vanduchoudhary.blogspot.in/
Your gift is lotssss of good wishes and my golden words ;)
DeleteThanks vandana!