Changing for the better

Life has taught us how to adapt to changes right from childhood. When we were kids, the only change that we were scared of was moving from one class to another. You know, we could lose friends in the process. And great teachers.

Growing up meant changing schools and colleges. The first day was always a challenge in a new place. You had to blend with a group of people who had a well-established friendship and who saw you as an outsider. But I always worked my charm around and successfully made new friends!

But the charm can always fade, and so, moving to a new place always made me scared. Me and the Boy started our married life in one apartment. We were new to the city and just knew a few of his bachelor friends. I had no clue what I had got myself into. Frankly, I had just lived in one city for the first 25 years of my life, this was an extremely new thing for me. But I had faith in us, and I knew it would all be fine.

After the initial few days we started to make friends in the building. They were all very different people and I didn’t know if I would get along. They were from different parts of India and had varied lifestyles. But that’s exactly what I had learned from changes in class, school and college – that you eventually start to like the differences and find rare gems in people. If we start to judge, we would never make friends.

And so I mingled around without trying to criticise anyone in my head.  Very soon I found that we had extremely loving neighbours who soon became our friends. I even found my best friend there whom I cherish from the bottom of my heart.

Very soon the Boy’s HRA increased and we thought of moving into a new,better house. That’s when I felt awfully scared. My friends here were a group of four, I was the only one moving out. If they wanted, they didn’t need to venture out to entertain themselves. What if our plan to #StartANewLife ended up in making me depressed and lonely in a new apartment? What if the physical distance made us emotionally distant as well?

Usually I love my space, but I can’t live without friends. I need atleast one or two confidants around me who love me and understand me unconditionally. This was indeed a challenge which we just had to undertake. With a heavy heart and lots of emotional drama, I moved into a new building.

I wouldn’t say this transition was smooth. It took me a while to get use to living away from them. But in that space, I found my renewed love for writing. I started to write much more than before because I had more free time in hand. Misunderstanding between friends happened in that phase, but our roots were tough and we emerged stronger than before.

It has been four years since I moved into this new space. I can safely say that my friendships have become much stronger than before. This change was challenging like all other transformations. But in the end, it taught me so much and made me a better person.

It also made me love changes. Even if I move into a new city today, I know I make the best friends who will always have my back.