A Whole New World

Traditions bind us together, keep us rooted and give us an identity. Traditions also strangle us, constantly kick us in the butt and enslave us. Since we are a confused generation deciding between staying grounded and setting ourselves free, I decided to write a post on the same confusion that drives me nuts as well.

You see, I love lighting diyas on Diwali. I love to make rangoli, dress up, light an incense stick, sit in a mandir and sing Jai Laxmi Mata. It’s deeply rooted in my whole being. But at the same time I have no inclination in doing idol worship, I don’t think Goddess Lakshmi will come to my house stepping on the rangoli and I certainly don’t think the light of lamps will guide the almighty to enter my abode.

Let’s take marriage. Traditionally, two people would come together, the man will fetch bread and the woman will raise kids. That is how the world would move forward with more people and well, more bread. Traditionally, a woman would take the husband’s surname so that they are all recognised as one and the ‘family name’ would be carried forward (by a son, ofcourse). Traditionally there would be Kanyadaan because a woman who was her family’s property before is being transferred to another man. Maybe I’m missing some religious link here, but heck, I don’t care about religion. But that is for another day.

So yes, marriage. Why should two people live together? – For the simple reason that they love each other. That should be the one and only reason. Each can fetch his own bread and raise kids together; upto them.  It’s been a billion years since we’ve inhabited this planet. We are more than 6 billion now. We certainly don’t need marriage just to make new people. As for the common surname, we have fantastic technology that can trace everyone in your family even if you have ‘Insanelyfunny’ surname for each family member. And Kanyadaan, oh I need to meet Alok Nath to know more about why it was named what it was named.

See, it is these traditions that make Indian Weddings what they are. Our business revolves around weddings and festivities. Let’s do the whole tamasha and let our country shine brighter than Las Vegas on Diwali eve. But please, no giving-way-your-daughter-to-purify-your-sins and continuing-family-lineage-with-common-surname and men-are-superior-so-you-sacrifice-your-career bit there.

Yes, I know, the world order would change. There will be chaos. But in the process, new traditions will be made which will be in-tune with the new world order. I would love to see families going to an orphanage and lighting up lives of several kids on Diwali. I would love to see a man taking a woman’s surname or creating a new one after marriage because it really doesn’t matter. I would love to see planting trees becoming a ceremony in one’s wedding. I would love to see old age homes happier during the wedding season instead of the groom’s safe beaming of gold...

It is time for old traditions to give way to new ones. They might have been relevant in their own time, but not now. If tomorrow, trees become poisonous for human existence, would you still be planting them? I want to rest my confusion just like I rest my case with that last line. But I need more people to join me to make these new things traditions for the time to come. You will try to bring that change, won't you?