Tuesday, January 14, 2014

A Whole New World


Traditions bind us together, keep us rooted and give us an identity. Traditions also strangle us, constantly kick us in the butt and enslave us. Since we are a confused generation deciding between staying grounded and setting ourselves free, I decided to write a post on the same confusion that drives me nuts as well.

You see, I love lighting diyas on Diwali. I love to make rangoli, dress up, light an incense stick, sit in a mandir and sing Jai Laxmi Mata. It’s deeply rooted in my whole being. But at the same time I have no inclination in doing idol worship, I don’t think Goddess Lakshmi will come to my house stepping on the rangoli and I certainly don’t think the light of lamps will guide the almighty to enter my abode.

Let’s take marriage. Traditionally, two people would come together, the man will fetch bread and the woman will raise kids. That is how the world would move forward with more people and well, more bread. Traditionally, a woman would take the husband’s surname so that they are all recognised as one and the ‘family name’ would be carried forward (by a son, ofcourse). Traditionally there would be Kanyadaan because a woman who was her family’s property before is being transferred to another man. Maybe I’m missing some religious link here, but heck, I don’t care about religion. But that is for another day.
So yes, marriage. Why should two people live together? – For the simple reason that they love each other. That should be the one and only reason. Each can fetch his own bread and raise kids together; upto them.  It’s been a billion years since we’ve inhabited this planet. We are more than 6 billion now. We certainly don’t need marriage just to make new people. As for the common surname, we have fantastic technology that can trace everyone in your family even if you have ‘Insanelyfunny’ surname for each family member. And Kanyadaan, oh I need to meet Alok Nath to know more about why it was named what it was named.

See, it is these traditions that make Indian Weddings what they are. Our business revolves around weddings and festivities. Let’s do the whole tamasha and let our country shine brighter than Las Vegas on Diwali eve. But please, no giving-way-your-daughter-to-purify-your-sins and continuing-family-lineage-with-common-surname and men-are-superior-so-you-sacrifice-your-career bit there.

Yes, I know, the world order would change. There will be chaos. But in the process, new traditions will be made which will be in-tune with the new world order. I would love to see families going to an orphanage and lighting up lives of several kids on Diwali. I would love to see a man taking a woman’s surname or creating a new one after marriage because it really doesn’t matter. I would love to see planting trees becoming a ceremony in one’s wedding. I would love to see old age homes happier during the wedding season instead of the groom’s safe beaming of gold...

It is time for old traditions to give way to new ones. They might have been relevant in their own time, but not now. If tomorrow, trees become poisonous for human existence, would you still be planting them? I want to rest my confusion just like I rest my case with that last line. But I need more people to join me to make these new things traditions for the time to come. You will try to bring that change, won't you? 

11 comments:

  1. Yes I do agree with you. Its not the same old banyan tree the youngsters should hang their lives, only thing is no one is daring enough to do it thinking something bad may happen. Need to change our attitudes over time...

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    1. Exactly. People feel their marriage will fail if they don't go everything exactly according to tradition. There are stories that 'confirm' to these beliefs. We should be rational when making these choices; that's all I'm saying.

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  2. Ah!! such a good post this was. If only we believed in celebrating our success in a way that would change someone else' life for better.

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    1. Yes, we need new traditions like that.

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  3. And I know a lot of people who prepare meals in larger quantities at home during Diwali and Onam , to be shared with children in orphanages and other homes which take care of children with special needs. There are a lot of good things being done across the globe, as we only get to know of the wrong things. But like you said if more people come forward to do this, we can bring about a better meaning to these festivals. Because every religion teaches us to help the less privileged around us. It is they who need help and not the idols.. the Gods can take care of themselves !

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    1. I am sure there are a lot of good people out there. We all do things for the less privileged ones in our own way. Festivals and weddings unite us in a unique way and we should never do away with that. All I'm saying is we need to balance it out and allocate our resources more appropriately - just like the people you have mentioned.

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  4. Anonymous1/15/2014

    I firmly believe in letting things evolve with time, be it beings, traditions, rituals or religions... and we all have to be the medium to bring the change... Change is the only constant!

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    1. True, things keep changing. And I'm glad we are a flexible generation. Hopefully we will leave a much better world for the next few.

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  5. I used to follow traditions and religious beliefs even when i didnt necessarily believe in them. It was a matter of not hurting sentiments. That frankly got me into more trouble than u would ever believe.
    Now, I do live life on my own terms... i decide for myself and while i dont do active harm to anyone, I do make it a point to be comfortable and sure of what im doing rather than doing it for others sake.

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    1. Actually our parents convince us to follow a few things which we won't otherwise. Considerate people like us don't want to hurt their sentiments and so we don't revolt. I don't think the next generation would be forced to follow traditions like we are. Hopefully that would be a good thing!

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  6. Now that was a wonderful post..we are too scared of changes and we would rather live with everything that is wrong than trying to work on improving them

    i almost burst out laughing on " i like to sing jai lakshmi mata" lol

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)