Everyone loves being complimented. Of course, there is always this uncertainty about the compliment being genuine, deep in our hearts we take it as true and take pride in it.
There was a time when one person in a big group will tell you that you were looking nice. Even if you were looking drop-dead gorgeous, rarely someone would come up and say it on your face. It’s true even today. I would look at her, find her absolutely stunning, admire her dress, wish it were mine and get back to what I was doing glancing at the dress every few minutes. But I will not compliment! Yes, it is a vice and I’m working on it.
And one way is through the ubiquitous social networking. Not only compliment, sometimes I fake compliment too! But that’s not what I want to discuss. I want to talk about another vice – being complimented in front of a crowd.
If your friend calls up and tells that she saw your pictures and that you are looking amazing, you ask her to make a comment! Stooping down to such low levels makes me wonder about networking and everything social about it. Isn't a compliment enough in this day and age that you want her to go through the agony of typing a word that hasn’t been said in the 15 comments above hers!? Does count matter, especially publicly?
I don’t go to many blogs to get hits on mine. I have not shared the link on facebook, twitter or orkut. This is a very personal space and I can only share it with very close people or harmless strangers. My best friends are avid readers of my blog and they compliment me everytime they read a post. Their appreciation is what encourages me to write the next post.
But why do I get this feeling that it would have felt so much better had they written their views in the comments section and not in a personal e-mail!? Recently a friend started reading my blog and I felt exhilarated with her approval. She even discussed it with a few other friends. Yet I miss the written testimony!
What is it about public count that makes us these disgusting people that we are really not?! I am not an insecure person. Not that I don’t need approval from time to time, I don’t crave for it like this. Yet I have this subconscious desire which makes me sound like a complete idiot!
And I know for a fact that you have it too! Ever tried to understand why?
I will take any compliment - written or verbal. But there are some friends of mine who ask me to comment in writing and I happily oblige!
ReplyDeletei don't think thinking of these makes u an idiot .
ReplyDeleteits a normal thing to want such testimony or complement coz it feeds our ego and makes us feel that we didn't lose our charm or talent yet .. still sparkling :)
@Nilu: I do it too! but i don't understand the constant need for it to be written down!
ReplyDelete@Radwa: thanks, it makes me feel better :)
lol!!! what triggrd this ;) n i hope u didn't fake compliment me! :D
ReplyDelete@prachi.. im so glad u chk my blog so regularly!! n then u dont comment here.. so u know its people like u who trigger this ;)
ReplyDeleteand babe.. i can never fake compliment u.. u guys are always beautiful to me :)
wahhh
it is totally natural.. i often hear from people Ive never met and even old classmates who say that they loved this post/disagreed with that post... and I always wtell them "Put it in the blog !! there's a damn comment section!!" petty ? Maybe.. but its a moral boost for me. seeing a "20 comments" line at the bottom of a post makes me feel a whole lot better than a "0 comments" thingy.. even though its in the virtual world. It just shows that someone read the post and felt it was worth commenting on... and that simple act for me, is equal to complimenting me on my dressing sense ( which incidentally never happens !!! )
ReplyDeleteInteresting thought..somehow i find a weird correlation with your post to the institution of marriage.. Why do people invite hundreds of people only when the actual life of two people will change and be reciprocatedly (not sure if thats a word)appreciated.. we like the fact of sharing and being accepted for things that make us happy.. so when you are complimented(and complemented) = triggers happiness and hence you want it to be shared with people in a however a very succint & humble manner.. thankfully Social media enables that somewhat innoucous desire in all of us:-)
ReplyDelete