Let me begin in the most common way ever. Dictionary defines courtship as the wooing of one person by another. However, generally, when we say courtship, we mean the period between engagement and marriage, with or without wooing!
Being in this period is loads of fun. I'll tell you how. But before that, let me briefly explain the periods before that.
Period One: The beginning of Love: In this phase, the girl is shy, actually, not her real self! The guy is generous with his compliments(hmm, not his real self either!). He comes up with new sweet-nothings every single day. No one is better in the whole wide world than him when it comes to love, understanding, caring, calling up, showering gifts, etc etc etc.
Period Two: After a few months: The girl begins to open up. She writes letters filled with affection and her perfume! She dedicates songs, writes poetry, starts to plan the future, and reciprocate the love, understanding, caring, calling up, showering gifts, etc etc etc.
Period Three: After more-than-few months: The guy starts to become uncomfortable with the thoughts of the future. The sweet-nothings phase out. There are kiss-and-make-up moments, but that's it. The mushy-mushy times seem distant and there are more fight because of that.
Period Four: Coming out in the open: If the bond is good, if the love and friendship is strong, the couple soon comes out of the third phase and start thinking about the future - together. This is the scariest phase. When you declare your love to the world, it's sometimes met with anger and doubt. It is then your love faces the real test. And trust me, even if you know the other person inside out, it is this phase that makes your bond the strongest and you get to know the hidden qualities of your partner. And you fall in love all over again.
Period Five: The courtship: It's like the first and second phase for you fall in love all over again! Only, your relationship is more mature. There is more understanding. Instead of thinking where your next dinner/lunch date's gonna be, you discuss your honeymoon! The incessant talk about the trousseau bores the guy, but he learns, for he knows that he has to live with a woman and her shopping for the rest of his life! You learn to accept each others family. And when your father sends an sms to the guy, and that too a forward, you know he's fit well!
It's no more the teenage kinda love. You miss it. But you can live without it. This has more meaning, more depth and more commitment.
Sadly, this period ends too soon. We usually think about the future more than the present. Getting married is such a BIG thing and we tend to worry more and relish less.
I'm trying to balance it out. And I'm also hoping, that the end of this period will be exactly like the beginning of it - when we fall in love all over again.
Nah, I'm not hoping, I'm sure it will be :)
oh you will you will. There will be many more moments that will make you fall in love again :)
ReplyDeleteEven though the persons involved are same ; the bond and attachment goes to different level every phase ; i guess that's why life is fun no ?
but still that mushy courtship days are funniest of all I think
All the best. I'm already wondering what you'd have to say about the stages of love AFTER marriage ;)
ReplyDeletewell put..father sndng a forward..hmmmm times are changing;-)..its so true-we are forever worried about problems that actually never come!
ReplyDeleteHmm. The fourth phase. Is the scariest phase. This is when compromises are made.
ReplyDelete'Phases in love' - Beautiful title! You express your thoughts beautifully, Nisha! Very very interesting. God bless you!
ReplyDeletelovely post.. reminds me of all the stupid things I did... and probably why Im back at the beginning itsef again :)
ReplyDeletenice post. each phase has it's own sweet feelings. And now as D said, I can't wait to read the sequel to this post - "Phases in love - After Marriage" :)
ReplyDelete@bluemist: i hope so tooo :)
ReplyDeletethe courtship phase is actually a rediscovering phase!and so ots so funny
@D and Deeply Dip: dekhte hain aage aage hota hai kya...i'll definitely keep u guys updates ;)
@my space: haan ji...times sure are changing!dad gets so excited when he does something like this..tells the whole house!
@suresh: compromises are made at every step. As long as they dont hurt anyone, I dont think its wrong.
@sandhya: thanks a lot :)
@roshan: thats nice..hope u r relishing every bit of it