The Power Within

A person with a chronic ailment does everything that he comes across to heal himself. It could be a persistent cough or a physical weakness or a life-consuming disorder, each one of us is fighting a health issue that we want resolved.

And when an illness starts from childhood, your parents take you to all doctors, yogi’s and tantrics to make you a healthier baby so that you can lead a normal life. I went to more than twenty such people.

I remember each one of them clearly since I spent a significant amount of time with all. Me and my mother use to go with utmost faith to any person who had healing powers…or so we were told. We tried all sorts of Ayurvedic medicines, Accupressure, Reiki, massage, special diets, feeding a cow on a full moon night ...the list is endless.

Yes, doctors were there, but medically there was no cure. And when you can’t find answers in medical science, you look upwards. We did our karma, did the best that we could and left the rest on God.

When I got married I looked no further than medical science. While it kept things in check, it did not heal. After a point in time things began to get worse and it took a toll on my mental health. I began to worry about my future and nothing in the present made me happy.

It is then I thought I will start to learn meditation for I knew everything starts from your head. I started looking out for videos on youtube, for internet is where you go to these days, not tantrics and yogis!

Incidentally a friend of mine called me to tell about this Life Coach cum Spiritual Guru cum Brahma Yog expert who takes online lessons for people who cannot meet her in person. I thought it would be too much gyaan that I already have and hence was reluctant to start the sessions. After three days of sitting on it, I decided to give it a go because I had nothing to lose.

I have taken four sessions so far. A, my teacher, has started with trying to train my thoughts with acceptance and trust in my good destiny which, according to her, all of us are blessed with. We work with her guidance into life and subsequently opening of chakras. At first I thought this was the proverbial satsang and I am too young and intelligent for that. Then I realised that I know but I really don’t apply anything!

She has told me to trust her approach. She has told me to work really hard. She has told me that I will become the first person in this world to say that I was cured of this particular disorder.

Do I want to be able to say that? Do I want to trust her? Do I want to work hard? Yes, yes and yes. It takes a special amount of courage to start trusting again that things will be okay when you have been in and out of the same situation multiple times and that too in childhood – the precious time when things get ingrained in your head. But I am willing to make that leap of faith once again. I want to be like my parents who did the same for me every single time. I want to be like the little girl I was who saw a glimmer of hope at the end of every tunnel.

Maybe I am still that girl who believes even Green tea can work wonders. Faith can move mountains they say. Trust might just be what I need in my life.

Let the sessions continue!