A
person with a chronic ailment does everything that he comes across to heal
himself. It could be a persistent cough or a physical weakness or a
life-consuming disorder, each one of us is fighting a health issue that we want
resolved.
And
when an illness starts from childhood, your parents take you to all doctors,
yogi’s and tantrics to make you a healthier baby so that you can lead a normal
life. I went to more than twenty such people.
I
remember each one of them clearly since I spent a significant amount of time
with all. Me and my mother use to go with utmost faith to any person who had
healing powers…or so we were told. We tried all sorts of Ayurvedic medicines, Accupressure, Reiki, massage, special diets, feeding a cow on a full moon night ...the list is endless.
Yes,
doctors were there, but medically there was no cure. And when you can’t find
answers in medical science, you look upwards. We did our karma, did the best
that we could and left the rest on God.
When
I got married I looked no further than medical science. While it kept things in
check, it did not heal. After a point in time things began to get worse and it
took a toll on my mental health. I began to worry about my future and nothing
in the present made me happy.
It
is then I thought I will start to learn meditation for I knew everything starts
from your head. I started looking out for videos on youtube, for internet is
where you go to these days, not tantrics and yogis!
Incidentally
a friend of mine called me to tell about this Life Coach cum Spiritual Guru cum Brahma Yog expert who takes online lessons for people who cannot meet her in person. I thought it would be too much gyaan that I
already have and hence was reluctant to start the sessions. After three days of
sitting on it, I decided to give it a go because I had nothing to lose.
I
have taken four sessions so far. A, my teacher, has started with trying to
train my thoughts with acceptance and trust in my good destiny which, according to her, all of us are blessed with. We work with her guidance
into life and subsequently opening of chakras. At first I thought this was the proverbial
satsang and I am too young and intelligent for that. Then I realised that I know
but I really don’t apply anything!
She
has told me to trust her approach. She has told me to work really hard. She has
told me that I will become the first person in this world to say that I was
cured of this particular disorder.
Do
I want to be able to say that? Do I want to trust her? Do I want to work hard?
Yes, yes and yes. It takes a special amount of courage to start trusting again
that things will be okay when you have been in and out of the same situation
multiple times and that too in childhood – the precious time when things get
ingrained in your head. But I am willing to make that leap of faith once again.
I want to be like my parents who did the same for me every single time. I want
to be like the little girl I was who saw a glimmer of hope at the end of every
tunnel.
Maybe
I am still that girl who believes even Green tea can work wonders. Faith can
move mountains they say. Trust might just be what I need in my life.
Let
the sessions continue!
