From time immemorial you’ve been guessing what women want,
Is it what you are or is it what you flaunt?
Let me clear the air and spill a few beans for you,
You can breathe a sigh of relief and thank me too!
Like the King of the Jungle you have a Mane going on,
You think, like him, your beard makes you look strong?
You think it defines your manhood...masculinity, you say,
No! No! No! For us, a clean shaven look is more manly any day!
You want to look wise, so you flaunt a new Goatee,
It makes you look mature, you say it’s classy.
We’re no facial hair police and want you to be free,
But since you asked, please reserve this look for when you are eighty!
There is something about a Stubble that makes you look lazy,
It’s not only about hygiene; it can also give us a rash that can sometimes be crazy.
It makes you look like someone who really doesn’t care,
Of all the things in a man, Insensitivity is something women really can’t bear.
Sideburns make you look confused, like a hippie out of school,
A Chinstrap is pointless – like an attention seeking fool.
You think a Moustache makes you look brave because you flaunt the hardest challenge in a beard,
Believe you me, just like the Soul Patch it only makes you look boring and weird.
If you don't want us to chant 'I hate that unclean stubble', SIMPLY strut a Clean Shaven look,
For the Ladies it means, you’d do anything for us by hook or by crook.
It means you’re an Unpretentious Gentleman and you love your Gal,
That’s ALL women want, it’s that simple, my Pal!