Thursday, November 28, 2013

Sob Factory!


Scene 1: I haven’t seen my family since 6 months. A package arrives with mom’s handmade mithai, my favorite peanut chikki and a gift for me. As I open it, I burst into tears and not only cry but cry with hiccups. The Boy is shocked and doesn’t know what to do!

Scene 2: When I tell my mom about scene 1 on phone I choke up again.

Scene 3: I bid adieu to my MIL at the airport who came to visit me for a few weeks. Surprisingly, tears flood my eyes. Weren’t we supposed to be happy when in-laws leave? They must be super awesome!

Scene 4: I speak about my child-free state with an aunt on the phone. I begin to choke. Wasn’t this a conscious decision?

Scene 5: We’ve bid farewell to quite a few close friends here in Bahrain and dropped them at the airport. I’ve cried every single time!

Scene 6: This one is classic. I have a cousin who is 8 years younger to me but I share the most precious bond with her. I hardly speak to her over the phone. But whenever I meet her I cry like a little baby on departing. Thankfully we meet often, but those tears just tell me how much I love her.

Scene 7: I chat with a long lost friend over the Internet and tiny droplets fill my eyes. Why am I like a little baby?

Scene 8, 9, 10: I watch a movie, I hear a sad story, I see someone in distress... those glands go berserk! Seriously, I have 10 times the normal tear glands.


It is not like I keep crying all the time! If I am in a difficult situation, I fight it out and hardly shed a tear. I laugh a million times more than I cry. But when it comes to relationships, I get all choked up. I don’t verbally tell people that I love them or miss them, but my watery eyes do. Either my tear glands are over-working or my heart is excessively filled with love. I’d like to assume it is the latter!

Does that mean people who don't cry are not loving? Hmm, that cannot happen. The Boy loves me and I have never seen him cry! Lets try to get the science behind it.

It is evolutionary. I am neurotic!!!!
All tears come out of tear glands, or lacrimal glands, found way up under your upper eyelids. We cry when they break. Emotional crying is nothing but evolutionary to get sympathy. Scientific research has shows that "if you are quite empathetic to the suffering of others, you may cry more frequently than the harder-hearted. People who are anxious or neurotic cry both more frequently and more easily than others. And extroverts tend to cry more often during negative situations and are less likely to cry 'happy tears'."

I am just protecting my nervous system.
There have been studies that indicate crying and the release of tears is a way to bring the nervous system back to a normal equilibrium of sorts. If someone continues to cry and be in emotional distress for a long period of time, the stress could cause physical consequences like a stroke or heart attack. Hence crying may be the body’s way of calming itself down (part of the parasympathetic nervous system) and returning to a normal state.

Like always, let me blame it on the hormones.
Studies say that on an average men cry once a month and women cry 5 times (I really don't know where this study was conducted. Even I don't cry 5 times a month!!). Prolactin and estrogen are both hormones found only in women that contribute to crying. So once again, its the bloody hormones.

There are a lot of theories out there. But emotions cannot be studied in a laboratory. No wonder we don't know anything about love as well. I just have one theory, I am very loving and caring and so I cry!! It is showing the world my vulnerability and that is the only reason I feel awkward. As long as I don't cry during a difficult situation, I am fine. Yep, chuck the science, I'm okay being a sob factory!

28 comments:

  1. Funny that.:D
    Nice research & a lovely captivating post Nisha!:)

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  2. Nice sob sob...!!!

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  3. enjoyed reading your post. But somewhere i read that, psychologically the stronger at hear cry. The weaker dont cry. May be i read it wrong. But crying soothes the mind.

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    1. You are saying that stronger people cry and the ones who are weak at heart, don't? I totally agree with you! I actually become relaxed after shedding a few tears; it is an act of letting go.

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    2. Yeah, I actually read it somewhere that the ones who are strong at heart cry.

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  4. Its takes a lot of strength to cry, you know? You are not afraid of showing your emotions. That's a gift, believe me.

    I'm a big sob factory too. But people who look at me think that I have never shed a tear my life. I'm fine with that too.

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    1. Same pinch! Actually there is a difference between shedding tears because you are sensitive and crying because you are a weak person. Those who are weak give it out easily and I usually don't like their attitude in life. The sensitive ones usually have a tough exterior. Like us! I like being a mysterious personality rather than being an open book :)

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  5. Touchwood! and well I am pretty much like that! I don't totally weep.. but my eyes get moist immediately! at the drop of the first pure emotion!

    movies mein to I have Ganga Jamuna behing from my eyes! :D

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    1. Haha.. me too!! Movies mein it is actually quite embarrassing since what is happening is not real!

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  6. You have written this post for me, Nisha... I am soooo like this. Last weekend, we went to a pet clinic/salon, husband had some work with the owner. While he was chatting, I looked around and saw a big St. Bernard on the hospital trolley with a glucose bottle etc. He had broken his hip bone and was operated upon some time ago. I am not a dog lover... and I was standing near this dog and observing him as he was making these heart wrenching sounds, so I patted his head and said some soothing words and the lacrimal glands suddenly got active. The owner of the lil patient saw me and was bewildered and I was so embarrassed. I can handle tough situations without a tear but these emotional stuff is something I cant handle! :P

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    1. Even I am not a dog lover but I am sure I would react in the same way. I am so glad to know that I am not the only one who gets all teary eyed on the slightest sentimental stuff that happens!

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  7. What comes out clearly that Nisha cries easily when she is not angry but is witness to/part of a touching situation like bidding farewell or seeing someone's pain or watching a tear jerker.You have buttressed your case justifiablt with scientific reasons too.Lols
    A nice post as usual well written.

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    1. You analyzed my post perfectly! When I see people around me appearing absolutely normal at things I get sentimental on, I feel abnormal!! And so I used these scientific reasons as my defense. They don't make any sense though.

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  8. I dont know why but life and all its various twists and turns have forced me to harden up... I dont tear easily for real life events... there are times when i actually hate myself for it but i cant.
    I do cry sometimes when im just down and lost in some truly melancholic music... when it all gets too overwhelming.
    I'd say you're normal... people like me are the abnormal ones bottling it up..

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    1. I guess we all have our ways to vent out. We are lucky that we can put our emotions in words. This is a fabulous way to say what you are really feeling.
      I feel I don't have control over my emotions when I can cry so easily. Also, my tears will hold no value for people who know I'm so emotional. So relax, it is good that you have 'hardened' up.

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  9. Yes, stronger people cry and then get a boost to be stronger...e.g. my husband. Whenever our Andy (dog) or Zorror (cat) were not well, husband had tears in his eyes. But he was the one who started a business, resigning a good job, when he had two small children, which has done very well. I don't cry often but am a weak person, I know!

    I can understand you! Be what you are, Nisha!

    I came here after a long time, Nisha!

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    1. Hi Sandhya, I do remember you! It seems like a long time ago :) Hope you doing well.
      I feel stronger as well after shedding a few tears. Even when I am low, I cry for a few seconds and then feel absolutely fine. It is like therapy!

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  10. Finally I have company. Once I cried because my husband laughed when I had intermittent hiccups, also I cried so badly when I delivered my baby and missed my baby bump (many women are actually relieved I missed it terribly), another when he had vaccination shots, and a hundred times when he went back to school after a weekend. I cry buckets whenever there is Kal Ho Na Ho or anything remotely to do with crying on TV. So there ! Our glands are working perfectly ! Same pinch !

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    1. Yes, yes...same pinch!! I already knew from your blog that you are like me :)
      TV is actually the main culprit. Nothing makes me cry more than emotional scenes on the screen. The Boy starts to look at me more than the television when something like that comes!

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  11. Ahh, finally someone who cries as much as me. My Boy once asked "kahaa se leke aati ho, yaar"

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    1. Haha.. exactly. We are a sob factory!!

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  12. first, its a nice post..especially the way its composed.

    i think its absolutely fine, in fact very essential to cry.

    Being a man (who is supposed to hold back emotions) i can cry at the fall of a leaf. And i don't hold those tears back...i think it makes me more human than just being a human. It instills a re-assurance, a sense of belonging to something important, a richness...

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    1. In a relationship, when it comes to holding back emotions, it is very important for one to be stronger than the other. Otherwise there is no one to console! Probably that is why men cry less than women. I pity them though; can't even express themselves openly.

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  13. I don't cry easily but when I start there is no stopping me. I think it is good to cry in installments rather than flooding the place in one go.

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    1. If that is the case, I guess I should be really happy with my installments!

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  14. And...And I haven't seen my family for six months too..Nobody visited me either and I got no gifts

    But there is a sweet reminder each day of how much we are loved and missed

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)