Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The 'Just Married, Please Excuse' Contest

I'm joining a noble cause. Yashodhara Lal has written a book and she's running a contest on her blog to publicize the book. Best entries also win copies of her book and if you're living in Delhi, a lavish lunch. I'm doing my Karma here without expecting anything in return (except that I have a thank you speech ready!). 

This is a hic-story of my bumpy, joy-ride within 24-hours of tying the nuptial knot. It started exactly after the pheras. Do you remember your vachans? All I remember is the Boy telling me that the Pandit has asked him to promise that he will not take me to any place which serves alcohol and that includes my father’s house which has an extremely fancy bar. I rolled my eyes and made a face, obviously.

Anyway, I howled like a baby during the vidai. Guess what the Boy did? He counted how many else were crying. For starters, chivalry spelled with an S to him! When I sat in the orchids adorned car, his 3-year old nephew jumped onto my lap. He had been watching the engagement video since the last 2 months and for him, I was a ghaghra-choli clad heroine straight out of a fascinating movie. I was teary eyed but being treated like a superstar did put a smile on my painted face.

Just married, I had little respect for my 4-year old boyfriend who was supposedly my pati-parmeshwar now. When my sisters put their heads in the car's window to make their final bid for the jooti, the Boy swayed the shoes and cheekily remarked on their incompetence to steal the pair. I couldn’t bear the insult and snatched them from him. The jootis flew out of the window and a loud cheer filled the air. It was my revenge for not sympathizing with me during my vidai. Yes, for starters, I settled scores to the T.

Skipping what happened ‘that’ night, we went to meet my parents the next afternoon. Alcohol was served and all the promises made to the Priest were broken. The Boy felt relieved for he needed to loosen up in front of 50 strangers who swarmed him like he was some Brad Pitt. He was treated like a king and my Angelina Jolie like stance was consciously ignored. He unabashedly gulped down 2 pints of beer and took to being a perfect son-in-law like a fish to water. 

Amidst unruly giggles, I was inappropriately questioned about the ‘crime’ I may have committed last night. For heaven's sake, he was my boyfriend since 4 years and this was the 21st century, I didn’t have to pretend to be innocent any longer. My face expressed it all but to my delight, they couldn’t haww anymore. Suddenly a taboo became a mantra for a happy life ahead! 

At nightfall, a bottle of champagne was opened in my new sasural. Another time, same promise – broken. I maybe a modern woman of the 21st century who occasionally gets tipsy in shorts and doesn’t believe in the most sought after ‘virtue’ in the land of Kamasutra, but out of respect, I do feel shy to drink alcohol in front of my in-laws. They gave me a glass and after much deliberation I took a sip. It was a daunting task to see a glass-full of champagne and not drink it. All eyes were on me and they pretended nothing was unusual.

After about half an hour, I couldn’t bear it. When there was movement around the house I went to my room and gulped down the glass of golden nectar. Oh, I could guzzle down several more if it were to me but I remembered that I was just married and had no excuse for my sinful cravings.

I remember laughing a lot after that. I also remember doing a small jig with the nephew. He still thought I was a celebrity. I’m glad I didn’t give him an autograph. I’m also glad that I didn’t sing the song while doing the steps. I remember the Boy laughing with me to save me from embarrassment later. He was the only one in the room who knew what the heck was going on.

Ah, that’s the hic-story of Day-1 of my new life. In the last 3.5 years, the hics and stories related to them have increased manifold. However, the real golden nectar is my Boy who keeps me high all the time. Cheers to that!

20 comments:

  1. That was a fun read. :)
    I like wines and I have tried so many times but Geet won't drink wine at all. She tastes it and make faces.

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    1. My husband made me acquire the taste for everything bitter! He needed company and I was game for it :)
      Anyway, after this post, you should think it's a good thing that your wife doesn't like the taste!

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  2. Very nice one, Nisha :) Thanks!

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    1. Thanks! All the best for your book.

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  3. very very funny. Loved it :)

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    1. You're generous, thanks!

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  4. When I read this I was actually wondering what would happen for mine. . It would be definitely funny!!

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    1. It should be funny. And if nothing's making you laugh hard enough to turn it into a long-lasting memory, you will regret it at times like these when there is a contest ;)

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  5. Nice, although heard tit bits of this from you now and then but reading was so much more fun, good work.. Keep going!

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  6. pure awesomeness. cheers!

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  7. Aradhana8/29/2012

    Liked it a lot!!!
    I hope u always stay d way u r n very soon we get to read a book of urs 👍

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  8. Aww now this was awesome. Thank God my boy drinks!! Else, it would have been a messy picture.

    Awesoem in laws you have man :)

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    1. Yes, I do! It's only that day that the Boy saved me. After that, I've been his saviour!

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  9. Hahaha Good One Nisha! All the best for the contest.

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Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)