When I was His phone!

He loves it more than anything else and so I made a wish, a wish to be my husband’s cell phone. The next morning, magically, life changed, and I was ringing to wake S up.

My whole body was shaking. I was humming Winds of Change, S’s alarm tune. He loved to wake up to it. When I wasn’t a phone, I use to shake him up, lovingly stroke his hair or just ask him to wake up in a lifeless tone. And here I was, at 6 in the morning, singing and whistling.

I saw his hands come up to me. He opened his tired eyes and pressed my left foot. Oh wait, that was a snooze button. ‘C’mon’, I thought,’ get up and let me sleep a little more’. But he wouldn’t budge. He snoozed me 6 times! And me, like a loyal phone, sang his favourite tune till he woke up at 6:30.

While I lay there, I thought if he realised the human me wasn’t next to him. But he didn’t. It was as if he knew that I had transformed into something I had wished for. He loved it, I’m sure.

I feared the next few moments. S would wear his lenses and put me on charging. I had a clinging feeling on my right foot and I was being transferred energy. It was nice. Without any effort I could get food and water and a willingness to be active all day. I dozed off till I was woken up to a sick smell.

Ah, there it was. I hated it when he took his cell in the loo. Eww, it was smelly all around. The only solace was the touch of his fingers all over my body while he spent 15 mins on the pot. I was willingly showing him his new mails, Facebook updates and Tweets. He opened Google news and scrolled down to Entertainment. Really, reading an update on Angelina Jolie is not news hubby. So that’s what you called important. Ha, now I knew.

He charged me yet again and finished his morning chores by applying half a bottle of Armani Code. Today, I would know who smells it anyway.

He didn’t even miss me at breakfast. It was as if he loved cereals and milk to omellete, nuts and a very healthy glassful of juice! In between his spoonfuls, he kept touching the screen as if Angelina Jolie had another update.

It was fun being driven down to office. For a change he concentrated on the road more than me, his cell phone. It was 730, I dozed off as usual!

I was claustrophobic in his pocket. I wish he could take me out. But for over an hour, busy in some stupid meeting, he didn’t even look at me. I had to make a noise to get out of the darkness. And so I beeped without a reason. He took me out, looked for reasons and when he couldn’t find any, he just calmly put me on the table.
So my beeping made no difference to him? Men fail to understand our tears and ignore the whole thing. But c’mon I was the phone, you know, The phone whom he loved so much. He ought to pay more attention.

After he was done with his submission, he picked me up. Oh, so he was busy, now he would look into the unusual beeping. He didn’t! He wrote an sms to his friend for a booze party at night. Hey, that’s all men do when the wives are not around, right? Uh, I was the one who flashed the positive reply from the bugger who would dirty my house that night.

Work kept him busy. He didn’t need entertainment so I was ignored. I rang a few times during the day. It was weird how I was full of life when I had to hum his favourite caller tunes. I wondered if it was really me around him the whole day, would he ignore me in the same way. He dare not!

It was claustrophobic again while going back home. He hummed songs that were played on the radio. Doesn’t happen when I am in the front seat. Was I stopping him from being himself? Quite sure, I was!

He kept looking at me at home. From news to mails to an episode of ‘How I met your Mother’, I followed his command. He smiled at me, laughed quite a few times, it was all too good to be true! Then the friend came and the booze party began.

When that other guy asked my specifications, S proudly chattered all. He remembered evey bit about the phone. He wouldn’t know what color his wife likes, but the RAM in the phone was told even before it was asked.

He was reluctant to hand me to him. S was being possessive of me. Or, was it the phone? Ah, I guess that was one similarity I shared with his N900!

Next day, when it was me again, I tried to hum Winds of Change so that he would love me as much as he loves his phone. He looked at me with his cute sleepy eyes and asked me to stop singing . I hugged him and said nothing. He kissed on my cheek and went back to sleep. I scored over the phone!

Moral of the illogical story: It’s not that they loved their gadgets more, it’s just the way gadgets come with specifications, don’t fret when he doesn’t pay more attention to an unusual beep, never feel ignored and just be on their command all the time.
Oh, I learned a lot while I wrote this story. Why don’t you try a hand at being something that you aren’t for a day. It’s fun!