As a country we are obsessed with approval. Our self
confidence was broken by harsh rulers who ingrained white superiority over us
hence making white the better colour.
Patriarchy made girl child the inferior gender. Women were responsible
to cook and make babies. They were considered the weaker sex and always put
second. The sole purpose of a lady was to get married and bear children. Any disability
to do so labelled her into many things which were far away from pleasant.
It is not just an Indian thing. Many societies have biases
based on colour, gender and race making us constantly seeking approval of those
whom we consider above us. I have seen very few people in my life who are comfortable
in their own skin fearing no one, asking no one and needing no one.
So what makes a person strong enough to love who they are
without having the need for reassurance that they are good enough? How are they
wired differently from those who desire day-to-day confirmation that they are
smart, beautiful and strong?
Well, it all starts at the very beginning. Parenting is
tough and here it is where it all begins. No matter how you have been treated
in your life, you must let your child know that he is and deserves the best.
There are parents around me who want to put their 4-year old
on diet because he looks too fat. I see women trying face masks on their young
ones to brighten their skin colour. There is comparison every single day with
the boy next door who is better at alphabets than their kid…
Each parent of the new generation is of the mindset that
they are cool. They believe that they don’t compare their children and are
giving them the best upbringing. While it is a good thought to have, there
needs to be consistency with what you practice. If your child will not get
approval from you, he will start to seek it from outside. And that is where
every parent will fail in their first and foremost exam.
We don’t need to put our children on a pedestal. We don’t have
to tell them they are amazing or better than other kids. We just need to tell
them that they are good enough.
The constant battle for ‘likes’ in our generation is a
testimony to the fact how flawed our confidence is. We want ‘comments’ from
friends and family to justify our existence. The popularity of a person is
judged by the number of followers he has or how quickly he can get a thumbs-up
from a large audience.
Isn’t it sad? For a few people in this world we waste our
time and energy which we could have used to make ourselves better. We lose
touch with our inner selves, our inner personality just to please others. Whatever
happened to love yourself first?
Life is too short to think less of yourself. You are God’s
unique creation and are here for a purpose. Surround yourself with positive souls who lift you up. Be yourself and have no qualms about it.
