Love, unconditionally

"So, what are you thinking? You've not spoken for like 10 minutes. What makes you yak in class so much?"
"Nothing. Just...ummm...well...I have to say it. And ...err..I love you." Aryan's hands were actually shaking.
Neeru looked at Aryan as if she wanted to say something. Instead, she just picked up her purse and drove away in her car.
Aryan was shocked, to say the least. After 10 days of struggle he had managed to ask her out. It was different that he could only manage to take her as far as the canteen! After 1 month, he had said what he was dying to confess. And she left without saying anything at all? Did he say it too soon? He couldn't believe his luck.

He didn't hear from her for many days. She wasn't attending the routine lectures as well. He was missing her presence on the last bench. It had only been a month that they had started sitting together in the maths class. Neeru hated the last bench. But the ever growing population in class had forced her to come and sit next to Aryan that afternoon, and things were never the same after that. He remembered how troubled she was the first day, how he reserved a seat for her the next day and how they became instant friends. There was something about her. So mature, so fun to be with, so pretty...Aryan just loved everything about her.

"What's wrong with Neeru?" Aryan clutched Jaya's hand. "She's not answering my phone calls, not attending classes. is everything alright?"
"She doesn't want to see you," Jaya answered trying to avoid eye contact.
"But why? I guess you know everything. If she is not interested, she can tell me. I don't want to lose her friendship like this. Please Jaya, help me out on this. Ask her to talk to me. Pleaseee"
"Stop being kiddish. Neeru's not your type..."
"What do you mean she's not my type. I like her, I like her a lot. Did she say something to you."
"Aryan, you know nothing about her. Please forget everything. It's not going to work out."
"Is it about her leg?"

Jaya could not believe this. She didn't say a word and left.
"He knows Neeru. He knows everything about you."
"And still. He doesn't know what he is getting into. What, is he trying to make fun of me like he does every time? I can't take this Jaya."
"Why are you doing this. I know you like him too. If he has no problem, then why are you being such a Goddess. We all need someone to be with..."
"Oh, shut up. I'm not being a Goddess Jaya. Its just...Its just that when he'll know the actual picture, he may not be able to live with it. And wont that be more painful than this?"
"But.."
"No ifs and buts, you know how I have planned my life. I don't want to burden someone with the pain I go through. I like him, but that doesn't give me the right to spoil his life. Its just not happening," she said the last few words rather softly and banged the door behind her.

Jaya wanted to help. She wanted things to work out between Aryan and Neeru. She had not seen Neeru as happy as she was in the last one month since that fatal night.

Last 10 years had been testing for Neeru. She was 11 when she lost her leg in an accident. For a year she was on bed fighting with a spinal fracture. Then she got an artificial leg. Life at school was difficult for kids didn't understand. As a teenager she was sympathized with and she hated that. She had quite a few friends and because of her carefree attitude, she didn't let the accident change her life. She was excellent with numbers and had planned to finish her M.A and then go for a PhD in New York where her uncle lived. Getting a job of a lecturer would be easy then. love and marriage were two things she never thought about. Or rather, she avoided thinking about for she knew it wasn't going to happen. All well thought of, this was nothing close to what she had expected in life.

Aryan was surprised to see her in the class on Monday. "Hi! Can we be friends?" Aryan couldn't control his enthusiasm after class.
"I have to go home." Neeru just didn't want to respond.
"But you have to talk to me before that. I tried calling you up a million times. If you didn't like what I said, it doesn't mean that you have to start avoiding me? This is insane Neeru. Please, grow up."
"Oh, you grow up. Listen, these classes are extremely important to me. And I don't want you interfering. Just...please..."
Aryan grabbed her. And made her walk with him to the bench. He made her sit, took her palm in his, sat on his knees and said, "Neeru, I know why you don't want to see me. Don't hate Jaya, but she told me everything. Not because she sympathizes. But because I had to know how you felt. I love you, and i want to spend the rest of my life being with you. You know why? Because I love the little girl in you who comes and sits next to me even when her favorite seat is vacant. Because I love the way you get Jaya's favorite dish for tiffin even when you hate it. Because I love your strength, your courage and your honesty. Because I love the fact that are shit scared of driving a car but you still won't hire a driver. Because, you are the only woman I know who can get 13*17 in a fraction of a second..."

Neeru smiled. Her tears were uncontrollable now. "And what about the leg. How would you feel when I wont be able to do a million things anyone else could do?"
"If you loved me, and I was in the same situation, would your love change?"
"Yes, it would have..." mumbled Neeru.
"Then we think differently. Who knows, the day I get married, my wife meets with an accident and she can never walk again? Will I leave her? Leave that, if you can drive a car, if you can do a PhD and become a lecturer, what makes you think you cant do other things?"
"But right now you have a choice to meet a perfect person..."
"For me, you are perfect. And I will love you in sickness and in health, no matter how filmy that sounds. And if you love me too Neeru, please trust me. I cant promise you to be a perfect husband, but I will give it my best shot..."
"What makes you think you won't?" smiled Neeru.
Aryan smiled too and he lightly kissed her hand. "Our kids would be beauty with brains, aah I love that!"
"Depends. What if they get all your genes?"


Did they live happily ever after? I bet, they did...


**Not all stories are like that - short and simple. Not all have a happy ending. Every Neeru doesn't meet an Aryan. Not all Neeru's need an Aryan. Yet, unconditional love is the most beautiful thing on earth. Its a rare blessing. This is for ALL the people who love unconditionally. This is specially for you**

We think, therefore we are... women!

Now this one's not being written in a very good mood. Why? U ask. Well, i have no idea!So thats that, do females, and i say this for most of us, need a reason to worry/think?

We tend to make everything a big deal at times. Why, I have no clue. Somethings deserve our thoughts, but then we tend to indulge in a lot of unnecessary crap as well.

Lets say there is a party next week. So what to wear? Now next week is like 7 days later...but we need to THINK now! That will decide how many parlor visits we need to make before the D day, when do we have to shampoo our hair, how we'll reach the venue, how will we talk to our boyfriend on phone that night so we have to make up one night before, and the resttt!

This party is a HUGE affair, so it becomes a BIG issue . Lets just excuse it. How about what movie to watch tomorrow? Now the woman is thinking. Last comedy was awful. Action? What, thats not our genre. Romance...i need to buy tissues. Whom to go with? Well, if I ask X, I will have to take Y along. I don't like Y. If I go with A, B will not like it. If I take B, A's a prob. The Woman goes with A, has completely 'thought' of the reasons she would give B, even has a plan ready if she bumps into B's neighbor's daughter's friend...

Now movies are entertainment. Lets just sleep. This too gets undue importance sometimes! If she sleeps at 12 today, her cycle will break. You know, routine. Yesterday she slept at 2 and woke up at 10, and I know u know the rest! If she sleeps at the usual 2, how will she able to start a new routine of waking up early? And if she sleeps at 1, she would be thinking of all the BIG things in the world and end up sleeping at 2 'thinking' why she didn't actually sleep at 2. She could have blogged u know!

And thats a woman's brain for you. Thinking brain. Sometimes its irritating for us too. We do realize that thinking is injurious to health. Thats why men, they-are-so-smart-men, don't think at all! And we hate them for that. Guess that's why we take their responsibilities too and think twice as much!

We think about the big, the small, and the minuscule. Its not our fault. Just like crying isn't. And well, there's a big post on crying coming up soon. Its my favorite hobby. Oh, no wait, its thinking. Umm..will have to think on this one!

*the post has been written in an extremely light hearted manner..and should be taken in the same spirit!!*

Do looks matter?

I've been thinking day in and day out, how to change my blog's appearance. Asked only one person, and she's a sweetheart - Sneha and then took up the task myself!

And now I realize, how easy it is. Although I have a lot to learn, but I'm getting blog savvy!Whatever that means!

Are looks that important? Why do we run for templates so much? I found out there are websites and websites teaching this, hosting pics, and what not. I, myself did a whole lot of things to understand the concept. I guess it's because right now I'm in the 'addicted-to-blogging' phase. And as soon as it's gone, I'll switch back to Minima! But again, does template matter? Isn't the content more important? Won't you read my posts if I stuck to Minima...

And while I write this, I think of thousands of remedies to look good. I think of fair and lovely. I think of those ads that ask for 'beautiful, fair...girl for a guy'. I think of those 'uptann' massages that baby girls get to become fair. I think of that fat girl in school who had no freinds...

A blog is the heart and soul of a person. What he thinks, what he feels and believes in. And appearances deceive what really lies inside. And thats exactly what happens in real life too. Pretty face can be heartless. Not-so-pretty - can be a gem inside. Although I cant generalize this at all.

My earlier template was a little on the kiddish side. That's what I am in real life. But I thought what I was writing was not going with the background. So, well, should I change the way I appear as well.

And what about the title. Teeth that sparkle makes no sense for a 'serious blogger'. So, should I change my title too? (Wont get into what's in a name philosophy!)

Oh, It confuses me to no extent! There are lots of thoughts, but no conclusion. And it basically boils down to 'how you present yourself' funda. Well, doesn't happen that way, does it?

Faith

She was imagining herself. With vermilion on her forehead,bangles on her hands, new found love around her and a whole new sweet family to live with. She clutched onto the small Ganesha sculpture that was her guiding light since she was 4 and prayed for all to go well.

Naina was a God loving and an extremely religious girl. Visiting a temple every day was like breathing to her, a necessity. In sunrise, in flowers, in stars, in her fiance's eyes, in her parents love...she felt blessed by the force above.

"We have to distribute just two invitations. Still, the drive from Mumbai will take some time. We will be back around midnight. So take care Naina." said her mother while leaving for Pune.
" Get some chocolate fudge for me if you take the Lonavla route!"
"Right, and what about the skincare regime. You're forgetting something dear, your wedding is in a week!"
"Oh! Ma, thats my last wish..."
"Shhh, never say that. Take care of the house."
"Alright, I'll just light a lamp for your safe journey. Enjoy!"
"You just need a reason!" smiled her mom and left.

Yes, her faith was funny sometimes. For a 20 year old, coming from a family who wasn't so religious, it was strange. But she never questioned it. She just had faith. And the fact that life was going smooth further strengthened that her faith was right.

"So you like the fudge hmm? Want to go to Lonavla for our honeymoon?" Siddhant was romancing on phone at 1 in the night.
"You think I'll let you get away with such a cheap trip. Plan something quick to Singapore, else, I'll call off the wedding!"
"C'mon, don't say things like that."
"Funny. Mom also said something...uh...by the way, it's 1 and they are not back. Let me check."

When the phone was not answered, Naina panicked. Where were ma and pa? She called up her uncle but there was no response.

Half an hour later, she received a phone call from a stranger saying that her parents had met with an accident and that she should reach the Highway Hospital immediately.
With her heart beating fast, she clutched the Ganesha and picked her uncle on the way.

Screams, tears, and her whole world was torn apart. Her Ma and Pa lay dead in the hospital. The Ganesha fell on the floor and was shattered into pieces.

Naina got married a month later. A small ceremony and a gloomy atmosphere marked the day. There were tears of pain and no smiles of joy.

She never recovered from the tragedy. She became cynical. Everyday temple visits? She could not even bear to see the sight of a God's sculpture anymore. For her, her beliefs died with her parents.

More than that, she lost faith in everything. Her relationship with Siddhant, her daughter Tanya, her mundane life, everything suffered. If there was something that was keeping her alive was the store, where she worked as a floor manager.

"What's that? A Jesus statue? Why is it on my floor?"
"But mam, we are showcasing our new range here," trembled a salesgirl.
"Why will people buy them? For some blind faith they have?"
"Some people are strong believers mam, you should not be so rigid."
"Oh, don't teach me. Display this on the first floor. As long is its away from my sight, its okay."

"Daddy, why does mum hate God? Miss told us today we should all love God," Tanya questioned Siddhant one evening.
"Sweetheart, when we love something a lot, we start expecting. And when we don't receive what we expect, things change. You are too small to understand."
"But I will tell mum to pray. Can I pray?"
Siddhant stroked her hair and nodded. He had had a tough life. He had to understand all eccentricities of Naina. He was a doting husband and a firm believer in God himself. And he knew somewhere, that one day, everything will be alright.

Naina was working late that Saturday evening. It was rather very hot. She could not eat anything as well for all the restaurants were on the 7th floor and that was closed due to reconstruction. Apparently, there was a lot of load on the mall, and it needed repair.
Suddenly, she heard a loud noise. Something terrible was happening above her. As she ran towards the staircase from her basement department, something hit her and she felt unconscious on the floor.

The whole mall had fallen apart. 5 years after the construction, the building collapsed because the builders had overlooked certain necessary requirements. Hundreds died that fateful day.

When the injured were being rescued, Naina was no where in sight. And the rescue operations reaching the basement seemed way too far. Siddhant and Tanya's life was shattered. Tanya started visiting the church. And she pulled Siddhant along.

People were being evacuated even after 7 days. After that all lost hope. But under all brick and mortar, Naina was breathing. Without food and water, she was desperately trying to stay alive. The smoke had not choked her. But the fear of death was terrifying.

16 days after the collapse, a miracle happened. Naina was rescued under unimaginable circumstances.

A week later, when she really recovered from the injuries, she heard how Tanya had prayed.

Siddhant held a Ganesha in his hand. That day, she got her parents back. And her faith too.



notes:
1. The mall incident is a real one. It happened in South Korea. visit:
blogs.nationalgeographic.com/channel/blog/2005/09/explorer_collapse.html
(its one link, could not fit the frame)
2. however, the story is fictitious.

Of Sweet People

I was reading testimonials. Of good people and of not so good people (according to my opinion of them! I judge sometimes...!) And i came to the following conclusion:

We've heard a million times and we say a million times that all of us have positives and negatives. But do we really believe in that when we hate someone?

So when you read a testimonial what do you see? The sweetest person on earth is the person you are reading about. And that happens on all profile pages. Conclusion: everyone on earth is sweet...and nice...and cute...*read a testimonial, any for that matter, for more adjectives*

There's a quote by Mother Teresa that says 'if you judge people, you have no time to love them'. So true, but so difficult to follow! Next time you're angry at someone, and really can't understand why on earth such people survive, read his testimonial.

And for that, Orkut should be made mandatory for the 6 billion plus population of earth!

Living life to the Fullest

The phone was ringing incessantly. Weird. Mom never calls at this hour. My heart skipped a beat, something was wrong. And I suddenly realized Aman was in the hospital. Was he alright? I just had to know. Without answering the phone call, I grabbed my car keys and rushed to the hospital.

"Stop puling my hair, I'll call mom and she will give you a piece of her mind," I was screaming. "Ha, you are a weak, silly girl who cant do without her mum," said Aman, laughing like Pran in silly old movies!

I smiled remembering how naughty he was when we were kids. Come what may, he would never let me stay in peace. I owe all my tolerance to him! But now, I owe him a lot of other things. I owe him how to live even while you are dying. I owe him the ability to smile during all adversities. I owe him the valuable lesson of loving unconditionally...

That Friday we were gathered around the neem tree in the park. Arun, Smita, Paras, Aman and me. A naughty boy from the neighboring colony hit Aman with a stone and he started to bleed profusely. All of us, a bunch of 10 year olds, started screaming and with all our strength, we took Aman to the nearest doc in the colony. Arun called Aman's mom and our job was done.

A week passed and Aman didn't come for the evening games. When I told my mom, she told me he was not well. "What happened to him? Is the wound too deep?" I asked mum. But she did not reply.

2 years passed in a jiffy and we nearly forgot that Aman was a part of our gang.
"What's muscular dystrophy?" Arun asked Smita as if she knew EVERYTHING in the world.
"I have no idea. But yes, i heard on TV that people die because of this disease." So she did know a bit.
"That means Aman is dying?" questioned Arun. "I heard mom telling dadi yesterday that Aman is suffering with this."
All of us became worried and decided to visit Aman.

What we saw was beyond our wildest imagination. Aman was on the bed, all weak and lanky. He was overjoyed to see us. "Hi! Where have you all been? I sent a few messages but I didn't get any response."
"Umm...we thought your mom had stopped you from coming outside because of the accident. And you live a little far from us, so we could never meet you. How are you?" asked Paras.
"I am absolutely fine. Do you think something is wrong with me?"
None of us uttered a word. Aman continued, just like a father explains his children, "Well, I don't know if you all know, but I've been diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy. It's a disease where the muscles progressively weaken. In some cases its not as bad. But I'm God's special child. I have a strong case!"

I had never seen a 12 year old talk like that. Was he kidding us? He was suffereing with a disease that, according to our understanding, was deadly. Was he not afraid? I was.

That night I could not sleep. I asked mom "Is it true that Aman is dying?"
"No darling, but he is weak. Very weak. If it continues it might become serious. Or he just might hit back."
But what if he didn't?

"Hey Aman, hows life?" I went to his place the next day. "Oh, its tough, but nevermind, don't have a choice. By the way, I need a favor."
"Sure, anytime. What is it?"
"I have your gifts, your pictures...whenever you pass by my house, I can't help but think how much I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?"
And the earth beneath my feet moved !!!! I blushed and laughed and thought wow, it happens only to beautiful girls!
"I'm serious. Listen, I don't have a long life. I can't waste it. I need to work fast. If I make my first girlfriend at 12, I just might make my 5th by the time I'm 21. Thats when i want to get married. At 22, I'll have my kid, get a divorce and marry my wife to a handsome guy before dying. So tell me, what do you have to say?"

Here I was having my first proposal, thinking I was cute, but this guy, he was sooooo selfish! I just made girlie faces and told him I had some homework to do! A week later we all visited him again. He looked weaker to me. "Nisha, you didn't accept my proposal, so for the time being its Smita. You can be next!" Aman exclaimed.

That was Aman. At 12, he spoke like a 30 year old. Planned, organized, knew exactly what he wanted and fighting with death.

8 years have passed. And I have seen the worst. First Aman had to leave school because he could not take the stress. Then, his movements became weaker and weaker because the progression had taken over him. And now, he had to use a wheelchair. Doctors had said it just might be the last few months.

"Why are some diseases beyond any cure?" I asked Aman the other day. He use to console all of us as if he was okay and he just had to make sure we were too.
"Thats because some people take their life for granted. And we, God's special messengers, are here to tell them, live your life to the fullest."
"How can you be so positive?"
"I have two choices. I can be sad that I'm unable to do anything. Or I can be happy, enjoy with you; my sweetheart and be happy. I've chosen to be happy 'cause that way, I can see everyone around me smile too."
"Is it easy?"
For the first time in 10 years, I saw tears in his eyes. "Now, that it's soon going to be over, I'm scared. My mum wont be able to get over it ever. And my girlfriend will cry too. Worst part, I wont be around to hug them."
I hugged him and told him that I wont cry. I told him that I loved him. I told him that I'll take care of his mom like her bahu...and he smiled.

Today when he took his last breath, it was time I kept my promise. It was time to take up some responsibilities that were never mine. But I took them without a hitch. Because Aman was my inspiration in everything I did. He taught me life's greatest lesson...To live life to the fullest...


A note on Muscular Dystrophy:

Muscular dystrophy (MD) is a genetic disorder that gradually weakens the body's muscles. It's caused by incorrect or missing genetic information that prevents the body from making the proteins it needs to build and maintain healthy muscles.A child who is diagnosed with MD gradually loses the ability to do things like walk, sit upright, breathe easily, and move the arms and hands. This increasing weakness can lead to other health problems and even an early death.

There are several major forms of muscular dystrophy, which can affect a child's muscles in different levels of severity. In some cases, MD starts causing muscle problems in infancy, while in others, symptoms don't appear until adulthood.There is no cure for MD, but researchers are quickly learning more about how to prevent and treat the condition. Doctors are also working on improving muscle and joint function, and slowing muscle deterioration so that kids, teens, and adults with MD can live as actively and independently as possible.

The Zahir

Finally...Paulo Coelho mania is over! thank god...I was slowly on my path to spirituality...at 24...that would mean...cant even begin to explain what!

The Zahir - according to the author - is a state of madness that might come with love of someone or something. Here, the author was 'in love' with his wife,Esther, who left him because she thought that something was missing in their life.

According to them, they were happily married, had everything they wanted from trips to luxury to even love...still she left him without him knowing. The author spends two years in her search...in between he's in love with a woman named Marie. But he has to find his Zahir...for he is occupied by her thoughts day and night.

All this sounds like a ridiculous idea to me. If you had everything, but felt something was missing why didn't the wife try to talk it over. Lets assume that Esther wanted the husband to realize his madness for her.But why the hell he had other women in his life whom, according to him, he loved too!

Most chapters are on Mikhail(a friend of the wife whom the author suspects to be the cause for Esther leaving) and his sessions where people tell their stories in open to strangers, have fun and thus relieve themselves.

Sharing pain is good, but i feel sharing what you feel with your close ones builds stronger bonds and might even solve all misunderstandings which might be the cause for pain! And well, the whole concept of love in The Zahir is beyond me.

To each his own. And Paulo has his own thoughts. So I'll give him his due credit for some amazing work elsewhere. But lets just hope love remains love and all the unconventional blabber about this emotion stays away from earth!

whY

Why can't we sleep when we are most tired
Why can't we rebel when required
Why can't we hug when we love so much
Why can't we dream with a tender touch

Why are we lonely when sad
Why cant we hit back when things go bad
Why do we love what we cant get
Why do we remember what others forget

Why do we live when we have to die
Why does love make us cry
Why doesn't the phone ring when we want it to
Why do we love all things new

Why cant we answer when we know everything
Why are we quiet when the heart wants to sing
Why do we sleep when we have miles to cover
Why always becomes never...

Every why has a because
Then why ask with such a pause
When mind wanders in an unknown space
Let nature guide and we follow the pace

Harry Potter and The order of the Phoenix

Well, I'm no ardent fan of Mr.Potter! But i love to have fun...and so early morning(10:40 a.m.!!!!) me and my friend headed for first day first show of the new Harry flick!

To say I was disappointed would be too harsh. Lets just say it wasn't up to the expectations. You wait and wait for something thrilling to happen, as in all Potter movies, and when something happens, 10 minutes and the movie is over.

Harry is accused of lying by saying that Voldemot is back. Nobody believes him and so he forms his own army against him. Some(5 maybe!) fun moments, some(umm..1..cant even call that a fight though) fighting scenes in the last 10 mins, Harry is proved right and THE END!

I missed laughing, I missed being captured by fights, I missed the fun matches, I missed Dumbledore and Hagrid and I hated the fact that Potter loses his Godfather in this one. Also, Potter kisses Cho...just for a few whistles by some sick audience(lol! well, where i live, it happens!)...and thats all...no emotions anywhere at all.

The people who have read the book(I haven't) say that a lot of things were missing. Guess that happens with all books that turn into movies 'coz there is little time.

The silver lining - Prof Pinky...oops...Umbridge was a lottt of fun to watch, and so were the Weasely twins. I've always loved Hermione's assertiveness and she did justice this time as well. Rest, well, I know all Harry fans would watch this one, but Im sure they'll think how much better it could have been.

A Walk on the Clouds

Round and round you go
Up to a mountain top
Leaving streams behind
To a place, one of its kind...

What you find is something rare
More than a holiday, more than a break
A sense of calmness, a sense of peace
A piece of nature, that's what you seize

When a thousand reflections hit the lake
When clouds cover the ground beneath you
When a cool breeze pushes you around
And a drizzling rain makes trickling sound

The experience doesn't come everyday
Making merry with friends and family
A peg of vodka, a sip of tea
Mountains can be an awesome place to party!


(a small and somewhat poetic account of a holiday!)