Balancing Act on a Wednesday

I am lucky to be friends with women who have now become big corporate honchos and have earned a name for themselves. They are my besties from school and we keep in touch on a regular basis. Our chat this morning was as follows:

P: The first GOT episode was disappointing

R: *blah blah blah* reviewing the episode.

Y: I don’t follow GOT. *runs off to be the awesome wife, mother and daughter-in-law that she is.*

Me: I’ll watch it over the weekend. 

R: I want to sleep but have to file a story. *she’s a Senior Correspondent for Economic Times. And single.*

P: I want to chill too but have to file a plan. *she’s a Senior PR Manager for a big tech company and a new mum.*

Me: I can sleep.

Me: I can chill.

R: Do that on our behalf.

Me: I slept for 2 hours in the morning. Will nap if need be.

P: I am up since 5 a.m.

R: Me too!

P:  I can't chill and can absolutely not sleep!

Me: Aww.

Me: You’ll be successful with meaningful lives.

P: Yeah right. I can't wait to get fired.

Me: I’ll sleep and create that balance this world needs!

R: Lol

P: Hahaha

*And we sign off with our daily dose of inspiration!*

A those-were-the-days kinda post (Part 2)

If you asked me to choose one friend from the huge bundle that I have, I would be torn like a mother of several kids being forced to pick one over the other! Each one of them is special in his/her own way but now that I have to choose one, I would probably choose Y.

I met Y when we were 16. Oh, the sweetest age. I had changed my school and she was one of the prettiest girls in class. That should never be a criterion to befriend someone, right? Somehow she became my friend and I was on top of the world!!

We were like always together. Her mother use to fry frymes (not sure of the spelling!) in the morning and pack a big box. All mothers should do that. Forget healthy, they make the best memories! We use to sit on the same bench and monitor the same classes and take the same extracurricular activities. Apparently, her parents were told that I am a good influence on her. Ha! She made a boyfriend (for life) in the same year!

Now why do I choose Y over all others? That year was extremely difficult for me. I was moving from the comforts of one school to the chaos of another. My health use to attract undue attention and I needed someone to take care of me when I needed it. Y was the first one to do that. I found comfort in her company and the rest is history.

Y even accompanied me for my first date ever! I was nervous as hell but with her expert guidance we managed well. Her house became a love nest and well, I don’t want to divulge the rest!

We then graduated from the same college. My previous school friends joined us and we became the inseparable ‘Nisha and friends’. Before you start accusing me of having a huge ego, this title has a story - the type you-have-to-be-a-part-of-it-to-love-it.

Y even read my first story and edited it. It was my first and only story that got published in a children’s book. She encouraged me the most when I needed it. She even reads this blog religiously and now accuses me of being sold off to contests. Can you blame her? She is my most well-read friend and I trust her opinion a lot. But Y, contests encourage me, so just let me participate! And before you forget, I won my first contest because of you!

The month of September has given me the bestest friends. Today is Y’s birthday. She has taught me love and loyalty like no one else. I wish her the same warmth all her life. Lots of love...

P.S. I doubt my 'other' friends read this blog until I send the link and force them to read. But just in case you are one of the 'other', I would choose you if it was your birthday!!

Phases in Love II

Four and a half years back, I did a post called ‘Phases in love’. I was about to get married that time. To keep my sanity, I had kept my mind blank. I conditioned myself not to think about anything that will happen after the wedding. How love will proceed was not on my mind as well. I tried to live each day as it came. Like every individual, I was scared and had my own reasons.

Anyway, it’s time for phases in love after marriage. Except missing my family and my city, I don’t have anything to crib about. So, this is love after marriage as seen from my non-hazel colored eyes!

Phase One – Just married – It’s like cupid striking all over again. The guy will try to do everything possible to make the girl happy (including remembering dates!). The new bride blushes at every given opportunity (and the recent attack of facials give an extra glow. Not to forget, the shiny hormones give an added lift *winks*). Everything glitters, from new clothes to new jewelery to new home. The guy licks his fingers whenever the girl cooks anything. Anything. The girl puts on make-up whenever the guy is around. It’s one of the best and most romantic phase of life.

Phase two – a few months into the marriage – issues start cropping up. This phase is very difficult since the couple starts to see negative qualities in each other. The lover turns into a husband/wife and the seriousness of living together dawns on you. The guy broods over the map shaped chapati and the girl starts to dislike the guy’s friends. Let’s-go-wherever-you-want-honey transforms into I-don’t-like-sushi-I-want-my-tandoori-chicken-bi*&^. The story with in-laws needs another post altogether! If both are working, the once lovey dovey couple who did things for each other complains about dividing chores and how the other never helps.

Phase three – a year into the marriage – after the roller coaster ride, the couple feels a sense of accomplishment. They celebrate their love and togetherness and come in terms with the good and the bad(read: compromise). They form their own rules and learn to live in harmony (read: adjustment). They feel proud of the bond they have created and talk about how time flies. They forget how they thought about walking out of that door a couple of times during the year. 

Phase four – ab to ek saal ho gaya – this is an unending phase till you have two children. People from all quarters advice you to have kids. There are subtle hints from all and sundry, ‘enjoy your time, when you have kids you won’t party like this’. There are obvious hints from relatives, ‘next time when you meet us, we want to see three not two of you’. There are over-the-top hints from a neighbour whom you’ve never met and bump into in a supermarket, ‘not planning? Need time’? (This was meant for another post but I just couldn’t come in terms with it!!!)

Anyway, the way a couple decides about having a baby takes their relationship to another level. This is a difficult topic of discussion. And if you can bring up the subject every weekend without any tiffs, you’ve reached a level of understanding that’s rare. Congratulate yourself on building a strong foundation in the earlier phases.

Phase five – after a couple of years – If all has gone well, you become best friends in real sense of the word. The companionship is like no other. You want to explore the world with each other and grow old together. Mostly there are no banned topics. You know each other’s likes and dislikes and work on your relationship accordingly. You pick up the towel from the bed without any anger. He plays angry birds patiently when you're shopping. Minor spats on the way don’t dishearten you but make your friendship stronger. Sometimes the monotony bores you, but the warmth and togetherness steps in to ease all confusions. 

The initial phase of all love stories is the best. But when you get out of that phase and still want to be around each other – that’s real love. I’m glad I found it. I hope you did too. And if not, it’s just waiting to happen.  

Oh, the mushy mushy week!!

Old is Gold. New is Golden too!

When we were in school, they told us it is the best time of your life. No responsibilities, no pressure. You’ll make your best friends here. They told us we will never meet people as good as these.

It was scary going to college. My best pals were in different cities. Life was about to turn into a friendless zone. And then, I made 3 new best friends.

They repeated that college is the best phase of your life. After that you enter the big bad world of career and relationships. People will befriend you for hidden motives. They will meet you to socialize and entertain themselves. It will suck further after marriage. 

So far I had about 8 best friends (Yeah, I was lucky. And I dare not call any of these 'good' friend!). A couple of them were less in touch, but I could pick up from where I left. They knew my dreams, my fears, my past and my present. They loved me for that and for everything else. 

Meaning, the bar for a best friend was quite high.

It had been 6 months since my wedding. Everything revolved around the husband. I was still calling my mother everyday to ask her the basic recipes of different vegetables. They had already told me I won’t make many friends. Best friend was like a far-fetched dream. I was trying to live with it.

And then, I met her.

I was standing near the elevator. We were going out for lunch with common friends. We instantly got along because we were from the same city. After meeting a couple of times in a group, we started meeting regularly.

She was immensely sweet and sensitive. Things bothered her easily. We use to walk in the Tennis Court and discuss the past, present and future. While I tried to cheer her up in her darkest hours, she brought warmth and sunshine into mine.

Bonding had a different meaning now. We weren’t kids who would laugh over non-veg jokes. We created non-veg jokes! Other kids didn’t bother us, it was having a kid of our own that did. We didn’t have to worry about marks, we had to maintain relationships that came with marriage.

If I was sick, she would cook for me. If I was sad, her eyes would fill up. When I came from a long holiday, she would empty my suitcase for me. It was like a sister, friend, well-wisher all packed into one in a faraway land where I was still learning how to live with a boy!

In our 4 years together, we’ve seen a lot. I was super jealous when she was making new friends. I cried like a baby when I moved to an apartment far away from hers. I was afraid I will have to cook when I'm sick.

But now, she brings me a packed dabba when I have a runny nose. We also increased our clan. We got two new best friends in the process. (More about them in a different post otherwise they would think I’m being partial!)

 Happy Birthday, Aradhana - You’ve made my school friends envious! You’re gifted with sweetness that’s rare in this world. Just believe in your dreams and smile at whatever plan God has for you. We can do anything to keep you smiling. Anything. 

And everyone who thinks only old is gold, I can guarantee, new is as SHINY.

Special friends deserve special birthday celebrations. I tried :)

Friendship is Life

The Friendship that was

Rejoicing over each other’s good grades but secretively feeling jealous
Helping each other go on dates
Hearing love tales and giving a shoulder during a break up
Shopping together and fighting over the same top
Drinking coffee at Barista and talking for hours
Hogging at a favourite hangout
Watching movies and making memories that will be discussed extensively in the future
Clicking silly pictures together, giving each other cards, cutting cakes…


The Friendship that is

Helping each other get married
Hearing out marital problems
Laughing yet giving mature advice
Worrying about the future together
Discussing the pressure to get married, have kids, buy a property…
Sharing holiday/honeymoon/second honeymoon pictures over Picasa
Looking at each other on a web cam and wondering when we will get to see each other again
Planning a getaway someday


The Friendship that will be

Crying for a year on touching 30
Helping the last one get married
Calling Godmother to each other's children and fighting over ‘who gets whom’
Repeating koki, chowmien, peking soup moments in home town.
Keep the hunt on for the tape we made in the span of one year during our graduation. Keep the blame game on too.
Growing old together and telling the world that the concept of ‘forever friends’ exists :)


Happy Friendship Day my sweethearts!


P.S. And the excitement of F-Day continues. Signs that I'm still young... :D

Little Mommies!

No, this isn't about teen pregnancy or anything close to it. It's about my friends embracing motherhood.

It is surreal, hard to believe that people I grew up with have little people growing inside them! The little girls in pony-tails and short skirts who worried about grades and were teachers pet now worry about diapers and future of their kids. When and how did we grow so old!?

My mom once said that once you have kids your life is totally dedicated to them. First you worry about their school, then teenage, career, wedding, then grand kids... phew! Yet when a child is born, the happiness that surrounds him doesn't reflect even a hint of fear that the kid brings with him. The parents just fall immensely in love with the baby and life goes on. I'm sure they have their moments of anxiety and doubt, but it really doesn't over-power the insane love towards the baby.

Yes, insane! I've seen young mothers run after their kids for hours. One meal takes about 2 hours. So you can imagine the kind of time 3-4 meals a day take. Yet beyond everyday frustration, love glows brighter! And it is hard to believe.

Maybe till you don't have a kid you won't understand the feeling. I'm glad my little girls have been blessed with such a divine feeling. As for me, I call Godmother!

My Best Friend's Wedding

I promised that I will write regularly. But that promise was broken to fulfill a bigger promise to my best friend - attend her wedding.

And so I had to leave my hubby dearest yet again for a few days and fly back to my home town. The fact that I had just gone to Bahrain and was coming back to India to attend a friend's wedding seemed indigestible to people. No one said anything, but they did raise eyebrows and said weird things like 'bahut achi friend hai kya'!? Had I said it's my cousins wedding, no one would have questioned. Why do we place friends last in our priority list? For me, friends are much more important than relatives whom we don't know from adam.

Anyway, it was also my first time to attend a Muslim wedding. We might be really different from each other but its strange how we have such similar customs.The sangeet songs, mehndi, hiding the shoe, opening thread from each others hand tied before the wedding, fishing for a jewel dipped in milk...lots of similar things.

Coming to the point, this post is for my darling. I have loads of best friends but somehow N has a very special place in my heart. We've been friends only for 4 years but this period has been so significant in our lives that we're inseparable. She did what nobody else could - make me open up and talk about my deepest emotions. We can talk endlessly, maybe because she's such a chatterbox. I had a love-hate relationship with her when we were doing MBA together. She would never help me much with 'our' project and I would crib how irresponsible she was. I shared loads with her, but she never did. After college we started becoming better friends. We started a small HR company and life changed for us.

We became best, best friends. I've written a lot about love and friendship on this blog. It's because these are the two subjects that hold most importance in my life. I learnt a new meaning of friendship from N. And so I cherish our bond most. If I had a problem, I never hesitated to share it with her. I felt proud when I could help her during her most troubled times. When I had visa issues after marriage and I couldn't be with the boy, N was the best support. It was her prayers too that helped me reunite with him. Whenever we were together, any third person seemed like an intruder! Oh, it sounds as if we are lovers...my bhabhi and my hubby do call us that!But that's how it is - a very very special friendship.

N got married yesterday to this sweetest guy. At one point I felt guilty of feeling jealous since she had a new 'best friend'! But that didn't last long for I was more happy for her to have found a guy who's just perfect. I want to be great friends with the guy too...so that our friendship could grow stronger. I want to tell her today that I love you N...and we'll be friends forever. We're married, our time zones don't match and we'll certainly wont be in the same city anymore...but we'll be together...in thick and thin...like always. And like true 'lovers'....distance will make our hearts grow fonder :)