Punjabi Takkar Marriage Diary - Entry #143

The other day the Boy was late from something. I was not informed properly and was super pissed due to some weird mood swings. I gave him a good one after he entered the house and then I went to bed. After a while, when he was sitting in the living room I made him a call asking him to come to the room. I screamed and screamed until I was done being angry. He listened, without uttering a word, because he knew I was going through terrible mood swings.

I take care of the house, he takes care of the bank – we are primitive that way. I hate any interference in the household chores and expect nothing from him. The other day I had washed his hankies and kept on the bed thinking I will fold them while watching TV. He came home from work and wanted to take a nap. Before I could come inside he had folded all the handkerchiefs and wrapped himself in the quilt. I fell in love.

I need constant encouragement for things. He always knows when to keep mum and when to speak. When he speaks, it's always the right thing.

I need a loving and caring man in my life but not someone who is overly sensitive because I hate people who care too much. He is exactly that.

I make him sit and listen to all the gossip I know. He is like a box which holds all my secrets and I am never afraid of them being spilled. It pays to have an introvert for a partner.

He is a goofy kid I could never have. He is the baby I like to mother. He is the Boy I can pamper to bits.

He’s never bought me gifts. He’s put stamps on my passport, he’s driven me around for nothing, he’s eaten what I wanted to eat, he’s gone without questioning wherever I’ve taken him, he’s worn what I made him wear, he’s sat in stores staring at his phone getting bored, he’s made me food he hates to cook…

I am a hard one to handle, he’s done that well without even knowing probably.

I am very confused about love. I don’t know what it means. I don’t understand how it happens. I fail to believe it ever goes. It is impossible to completely comprehend all that love is about. Yet, when I see him, I feel I know love.

Punjabi Takkar Marriage Diary #7

This is a story I have not told many people. Even I came to know a few years after my wedding day. It fills my heart with pride and my eyes with crystal clear tears! It is about the Boy and what a stand-up man he is.

So I was at the wedding venue at 7:30 pm. Like all Punjabi baraats, this was late as well. My day had been really normal – some Pooja, some haldi, getting my face painted with 25 other brides at the parlour, the works. Frankly, I wanted this day to end. Yes, it is unusual for a bride to say this, but for me, my wedding day was a terrifying event. I hate being the centre of attraction, and this was exactly how it was meant to be.

Over the years, I had never imagined being a bride. I had weird thoughts of settling down in a farm with my own field and animals. I even have a diary entry written in code language mentioning how I want to live my life! I had my childhood issues and not good ones at that.

When me and the Boy decided to get married, the only worrisome thought I had was the wedding day itself. I knew I could manage the rest, but this, this was nightmarish. And so I decided to remain as calm as possible and take one single moment at a time.

I’m proud of the fact that I did exactly that. When I was waiting for the baraat, I chit-chatted with all my friends and relatives. Someone or the other kept bringing me snacks and I kept hogging. I asked my cousin to check how high the stage was, since I had trouble climbing it. She went out and told me it looked fine. I took her word.

The Boy had his problems at home. The Delhi board decided to switch off their power and all their ceremonies were delayed. At last he made his horse run to reach the venue by 11:30 pm!

His other problem was his embroidered Sherwani - it kept hurting him on his neck and he just couldn’t bear the pain. I saw later and he had bad rashes. Anyway.

He and his bandwagon entered the wedding hall. I was still in the waiting room. Now this is the story my mom told me a few years later which reassured her that she was giving her daughter to the best man possible – as soon as the Boy entered, he called my mom and whispered in her ear that the stage looked too high for my comfort. My mother immediately called my brother and he arranged for a small step that would make the climb easy. Actually a tray covered with cloth because nothing else was available at that time.

My immediate family and best friends – all of them knew how difficult this was for me. Yet none of them could notice it in the few hours that they were there. The Boy, on his wedding day, with several things on his mind, noticed this the moment he entered.

When you know that someone cares about you this much, you can do anything for this person. You can love him and care for him more than you do for yourself. Love is not in the Rolex you buy as a surprise, it is about sharing the discomfort of your partner. For in that, true love and true character is revealed.

We are going to be 7 tomorrow, and I cannot thank God enough for the precious gift He has given me. God Bless you Sumit Takkar! I know I am annoying and irritating and dominating and weird, but the way you manage me and still love me is praiseworthy. You are a rare gem and together (I think!) we make a great team. Here’s to us – cheers!