The kind of posts I wish to write

Let me start by saying that this is my 8^th post for the month of September. In my 6 years of blogging, this is the most I have written in a month. To add to this record, there are ten unfinished posts in my drafts folder for the same (idle) time period. The time I have spent writing stuff that doesn’t make any sense, I could have read so much. So today, I decided to do the same – read. 

Every time I read I realise I have such a loooong way to go. Ideas, language, words – there is a huge scope for improvement.  Anyhoo, apart from the meaningful stuff that goes around in the written world, I so wish to write on the following topics in the years to come:

*I wish to talk about adorable babies and their annoying parents. You love them, I get it. But please don’t fill my wall with their pictures. If you were my mommy/daddy and you were putting my picture in all its glory, I would have disowned you. Right from their first rain, to Janmashtami, to first day at school – you just can’t do this to them and to, well, us! Holiday season is just starting and I fear for my life!!!

*I wish to talk about sex. Yep, the stuff that happens before babies. You see, we do khi khi kheee before marriage. But after marriage, sex becomes all about ovulation, fertility and contraception. A naive girl is suddenly expected to become a sex machine and pop out babies. If there is no baby, people think the couple is not having sex. I want to clear the air – you can talk about sex and do khi khi khee long after you’ve been married and that there is no correlation between babies and the chemistry between the couple. The only thing that I am jealous of is the fact that parents have a much more adventurous time doing it with a baby sleeping next to them. What fun!

*I want to talk about the difference between Indian and American television. Owing to a recent Netflix addiction, we’ve been watching too many drugs related series. I admire the creativity that goes into making these thrillers. But I need a break from Meth! On the contrary, all we see here are saas-bahu sagas. I don’t know which culture is better – the stoned one or the one that makes you want to get stoned!

*I want to defend men on this forum. I've been blessed with an amazing set of men in my life. I know it is not the same for everyone. But it is our duty to love and cherish the good ones. Poor guys, they have been at a receiving end recently and a lot of them don't deserve the generalization. To do that without sounding like an anti-feminist freak is a task. Also, I don't understand what is the big deal in being a woman? I want equality - they are as good and we are as bad. 

*I want to write humour. But apparently, nothing without the word sex, fart or booze is funny enough. Political humour is something I can never do. I can make fun of my husband, but for how long? I can talk sarcastically about my lazy ass but then eventually I would start feeling guilty. I can make fun of the lady next door who is always screaming on her three small kids and has ruffled grey hair that she never combs. But then, struggling parents would start their what-do-you-know crap. Ah, till I learn, I’ll just read. 

On a remotely similar note, here is a recent conversation between me and the Boy. Maybe I can record these and start my humour posts. That should work, right?

Me: I’m so glad I don’t have a job. I really can't take any scolding.

Boy: If you were me, tumhara kya hota?

Me: Awwww babyyy... your boss scolds you a lot?

Boy: No. You do.

Food for thought

Hope – it is the strongest word I know. Everyday we wake up in a hope of having a good day. Whether you are perfectly fine or going through a dull phase -  hope is what keeps you going.

Any activity you start, you hope to complete it successfully. From cooking a meal to completing a project to losing weight, you hope to have a positive outcome.

“I find hope in the darkest hours and focus in the brightest. I do not judge the universe.”Dalai Lama

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Epicurus.

But is it hope when you expect a negative result? Do you say, ‘I hope not to finish this task.’? And when you hope that, is it really hope? Oh, too many ‘hopes’ in that sentence.

Hope is the premise of my life. Being positive is my attitude. Staying strong on these two is my character. Hope cannot exist in isolation. 

And what happens when things happen against hope? If you have the other two traits, you hope for a new dawn. That’s why I say, hope cannot survive in isolation.

It is the degree of these three that defines how your life will be. You can make your life fulfilling or just let things be by not inculcating these virtues.

I promise to stay strong and hold on positively to hope. You have to promise me the same.

“Hold on, God knows what he is doing.”

Seven ways to be happier

Surround yourself with happy people. Leave the angry ones for Mars.  

Say a two-line thank you prayer each day. Even if you are a nonbeliever, gratitude helps. 

Take out a few minutes to do something for someone – call up an old person, make tea for your house help, help someone park the car...

Have happy thoughts and broaden your lips to smile. People might think you are a moron smiling to yourself, but believe me; it does wonders to your happiness.

Be a good listener. That can mean so much to someone and make you happier. (I don't think there are selfless good deeds.)

Sing aloud. It lifts you up. A lot.

Exercise, dance or jump around. Your body will thank you and your stress levels will come down drastically.

All these methods are tried and tested. I have only one aim in life – to be the happiest person I know. I think I am getting there. Are you?

A those-were-the-days kinda post (Part 2)

If you asked me to choose one friend from the huge bundle that I have, I would be torn like a mother of several kids being forced to pick one over the other! Each one of them is special in his/her own way but now that I have to choose one, I would probably choose Y.

I met Y when we were 16. Oh, the sweetest age. I had changed my school and she was one of the prettiest girls in class. That should never be a criterion to befriend someone, right? Somehow she became my friend and I was on top of the world!!

We were like always together. Her mother use to fry frymes (not sure of the spelling!) in the morning and pack a big box. All mothers should do that. Forget healthy, they make the best memories! We use to sit on the same bench and monitor the same classes and take the same extracurricular activities. Apparently, her parents were told that I am a good influence on her. Ha! She made a boyfriend (for life) in the same year!

Now why do I choose Y over all others? That year was extremely difficult for me. I was moving from the comforts of one school to the chaos of another. My health use to attract undue attention and I needed someone to take care of me when I needed it. Y was the first one to do that. I found comfort in her company and the rest is history.

Y even accompanied me for my first date ever! I was nervous as hell but with her expert guidance we managed well. Her house became a love nest and well, I don’t want to divulge the rest!

We then graduated from the same college. My previous school friends joined us and we became the inseparable ‘Nisha and friends’. Before you start accusing me of having a huge ego, this title has a story - the type you-have-to-be-a-part-of-it-to-love-it.

Y even read my first story and edited it. It was my first and only story that got published in a children’s book. She encouraged me the most when I needed it. She even reads this blog religiously and now accuses me of being sold off to contests. Can you blame her? She is my most well-read friend and I trust her opinion a lot. But Y, contests encourage me, so just let me participate! And before you forget, I won my first contest because of you!

The month of September has given me the bestest friends. Today is Y’s birthday. She has taught me love and loyalty like no one else. I wish her the same warmth all her life. Lots of love...

P.S. I doubt my 'other' friends read this blog until I send the link and force them to read. But just in case you are one of the 'other', I would choose you if it was your birthday!!

A those-were-the-days kinda post!

If I had to choose one phase from my student life, it would be my MBA days. I am usually a very living-in-the-present kind of a person, but my MBA days are the two most beautiful years of my life that I wish to go back to.

I did the course because my friends were doing it. We went to the best coaching centers in town, we spent thousands filling out admission forms and we religiously took the Mock test every week. I even fought with my family so that they would let me go to another city to study. That was my first and only act of rebellion! Eventually I took admission in the same town, for comfort and for easy dating!

Yup, I had my priorities figured out!

The Boy and I had been chatting online for a while. In two years we had only met twice. If our relationship was to move further he had to be in the same city as me. Not that I didn’t believe in long distance relationships, he just had to be around me for a while to understand me and my situation a little better to be able to think of a future with me. As fate would have it, we both studied in the same city for two whole years.

That time was glorious. We had tight schedules from 8 to 8, Monday to Saturday and semester to semester. In between classes, projects and tight schedules, we use to find time for each other. It wasn’t easy, but we made it. Our institutes were some 25 kilometer apart. I use to courageously drive across highways to meet him! It was my hometown, he was an outsider and so it was me who had to make extra efforts. But they were so worth it! I just love, love those memories.

My favorite spot at the Boy's college. Yes, I am terrible at photo editing!

Don’t get me wrong, we were good students as well. When it came to studies, we didn’t let our love life affect it. Sometimes he tutored me and gave me his project reports. In return, I cleaned his messy room! We did well in our respective colleges and secured good positions in the end. Awesome balance, you see!

The interior of my Institute

Those classes where we tried to study!

The only corridor where you had some privacy.
People were often found here chatting on phone with their 'loved ones' !

I made some life-long friends during this time. Noor* studied in the same college as me when we did our bachelors. But our paths never crossed. While doing MBA, we got close because of our roll numbers. That was the beginning of a life-long affair. We had a love hate relationship from the beginning but we survived. We got close to Nik* as well – roll number you see. Also, Nik needed a scape goat for his projects. I was the most sincere of the three and played a big role in him getting his degree. We made friends with Pri and then we four were inseparable. It is Pri* who makes me laugh the most. It is Pri I turn to when I need advice on life. Different friends – different specialities!

And then there was the course. The one thing I learnt from MBA was how to Google effectively! No, seriously. I also learnt about the PE ratio, Brand Management, Organisational Behaviour and the works. Even though I never applied much of the above, I remember most of it. That’s the thing about doing Business Administration. You learn practically more than theoretically.

I gained a lot of self confidence during this time. The crowd was pretty average and that always kept the ego high. I met people from diverse backgrounds and learnt how to adjust with each one of them. I let go of my inhibitions and learnt how to face an audience. I learnt I needed to be more emotionally mature to handle angry professors. I learnt I could do well if I wanted to...

I wish I wrote this post 6 years back when the memories were still fresh. I'm nostalgic today since its Noor’s birthday and I happened to look at old pictures (I bought a new camera phone during the last semester!). Noor taught me how to never say no to fun. I love her for that. Happy Birthday my babe.

Noor - Most of her pictures are like this.
For some weird reason she hated being clicked!!

*Names are not real!