P is for… Proposal

I had been going out with Triya for a year now. We were introduced by our parents when they came to see us while we both were working in New York. It was a strategic match – we would laugh. My father was a builder in Delhi and her family owned a well-established cement company in Gurgaon – a match made in ‘concrete’ heaven!

‘Remember how horrified I was when my father asked me to ask you out? It was like I was a preppy again!’ I exclaimed looking into Triya’s eyes peeking through her thick mascaraed eyelashes. She never left home without her pink gloss lipstick and two applications of mascara; she had told me once. It didn’t matter to me though - she was beautiful inside and out.

She just smiled sipping through her third Manhattan. Normally, by this time, Triya would be hopping around singing Sonu Nigam songs making Americans chuckle, but not today. Something was bothering her.

‘Is everything ok? You look preoccupied, hon,’ I asked her a third time.

‘Let’s get out of here,’ she stated standing up from her bar stool, fixing her purse on her shoulders.

‘Uh, ok. If that makes you feel better. I’ll just settle the cheque and see you at the exit.’

As I stood at the billing counter I glanced at my worried girlfriend. I had a bad feeling about this. We had an argument last weekend, but nothing so significant that she would break-up with me for! I was planning to take her to the Bahamas very soon and propose her. She might have other plans.

‘How were your drinks today Mr. Sehgal? You’re leaving early,’ questioned the bartender from behind the counter.

‘Everything was great, we ..uh…we just have a thing.’

I walked towards Triya, her slender body leaning on the exit door. She was staring through the glass door at the tall structure across Times Square, lost in a world of her own.

‘Are you ready to go?’ I patted on her shoulder and curled my arm around her petite waist.

‘Can we go to our favourite spot in Central Park? Or is it too late?’ Triya asked with a very serious look on her face.

‘Of course, we can,’ I answered without hesitation.

We grabbed a cab from outside the bar and within 10 minutes we were on the bench next to the fountain in Central Park. Nothing was said between us, I didn’t even want to ask.

‘The Triya you know is very different from the Triya I grew up with,’ she muttered grabbing my hand.

‘I know darling, I know your struggle with the weight.’

‘It’s not about the struggle. I loved it – more because I emerged victorious from it. This is about how those years changed my outlook in life.’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, still puzzled about her predicament.

‘You know I love you Sid. But there is something you need to know. Something that I had decided years ago which could alter your feelings towards me.’

‘Hey! Nothing, nothing in this world can change how I feel about you… about us. If this is about you gaining those 40 kgs back, I am up for it. In fact, I’ll look forward to it, that way I will have more of you to love!’

She laughed. For the first time today, I made her laugh. This was rare. We were a happy twosome endlessly sharing jokes and stories from our respective business schools. We had a bunch of friends from the banks we were working for who always envied our companionship. I loved how we both were intellectuals and not nerdy, how we were both from a wealthy background, yet grounded. There was so much in common.

‘You don’t understand Sid. My head is screwed up in many ways.’

‘I…’

‘No listen,’ she interrupted. ‘I am just going to come out with this ok. I know where we are heading, and I want to make this clear before we do. I… I don’t want to have children. Ever.’

 ‘Okay.. uhh..’ I didn’t know how to respond to that. I came from a family of three sons and one daughter. We had a party growing up. How would someone not like kids was beyond me.

‘I saw how my mother struggled trying to bring out the perfect version of me. Every single day she would look for ways to make me thinner. She stopped going to parties because she didn’t want the conversation to turn to her and consequently, my weight struggles. She felt guilty for being too harsh on me and that made me feel guilty for making her go through this. I turned out great – straight A’s, charismatic, and successful. But I don’t want to be that person who wants to fix everything that is wrong in someone’s life. I don’t want to be in a position where I have to make that kind of a decision for someone.’

‘What kind?’ I asked, pretending to understand but failing miserably at it.

‘The kinds that makes you want to control every step of someone’s life,’ she stated, with her voice becoming softer.

‘But you can be the type of mother you want to be. Now that you have a guideline, you can easily skip the part that makes you be a Hitler,’ I said wrapping my arms around her, trying to make her laugh again. We were in our late twenties; I was not even thinking about kids.

‘No. You can’t change my mind about this. And if it’s a deal-breaker for you, we can decide to take separate paths.’

‘Uhh..Triya!’ I really didn’t know what to say. ‘Can we cross the bridge when we get to it?’

Triya looked at me through her blurry eyes and moved from the bench to the floor on one knee. ‘Sid Sehgal, I love you and would love to spend the rest of my life with you. But before you say yes, you must think very, very carefully. Are you ok with having no children, no children at all?’

I stood up and helped her get up. I took her hands and embraced her tight. Behind her was our favourite fountain, our go-to spot when we were happy, sad, anything. This place had seen it all – our past, our present and possibly our future, which, right now, I was very unsure about.

--------------------------

You can read more about Triya in :

 K for... Kapalbhati

 M for... Mama of Four

-----------------------------------------------------------

This story is a part of AtoZ challenge by Blogchatter. For the 2020 challenge, I'll be writing some travel stories and some stories that originate in my life but find a way into this blog through fiction. Also, I am new at this ;)