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Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Nisha Sheds Inhibitions


I hopped over to a blog which had titles like the one above. I fell in love immediately. Here’s to many more like this one!!

So I’ve been this girl who’s always thinking ‘what will people think’. I got married to a boy who is never thinking ‘what will people think’. His casualness and ability to live life on his own term has been inspiring me and I’m starting to shed all my inhibitions.

There have been a lot of little things which are difficult to account for. Being married to him has literally given me a new life – one in which I can be myself. When I was younger, my mum use to walk behind me so that nobody notices my gait. Now I don’t blame her – she did the best she could to protect me from the world. But this guy, he walks with me, always gives me a hand, picks me up when I can’t climb, and never even notices that he’s doing something ‘different’. Now if I won’t learn from him, I won’t learn from anyone.

Other than these physical issues, which I really don’t want to talk about because they are so boring (!), there has been a lot of psychological changes as well. A few days back this girl – my father’s brother’s wife’s mother’s sister’s daughter (LITERALLY) pinged me on Facebook. This is what she wrote –

Hi
How are you
Any good news?

Now this question irritates every married woman. And when it comes from a total stranger – my blood practically boils. I’m a very patient and calm person, but something like this is absolutely annoying. There is a way to start a conversation with your acquaintances, this was totally crossing a line. Being me, I was polite and said – ‘Hi. I am good. No good news.’

I thought my straight forward reply will give her a hint. But she went a step ahead and asked me – ‘Are you not planning or you don’t want an issue?’

Imagine the audacity!!! I just wanted to write ‘none of your business.’ Even the Boy told me to say this. For the first time, I crossed the line, however politely, I said, ‘No offense, but I don’t think this is important.’

That was the end to the conversation! Really, WORLD – Grow up!!!!

In the second recent instance, I made a video on this blog. It was a big deal for me. I’m not too fond of my voice. I’m also aware that I make too many facial expressions. I’m too conscious of how I look. And I’m too worried of the fact that if I make a video for a few thousand rupees, what will people think!!

So this exercise was another way of shedding inhibitions. The first person to see this video was my friend Y who, sort of, worships me. Ahem! I needed a confidence boost so I also showed it to a couple of blogger friends. Only once they approved, I put it up.

Now we were asked to make this video public. I didn’t realise that it went up automatically on Google Plus as well. One of Boy’s colleague’s saw it and he forwarded it to the others. I wanted to run away from the country!!

Seriously, I couldn’t sleep well for one whole night. But then, I realised that my purpose was to let go and just be myself. And so I stopped thinking about it.

I’m all of 32 and still have a lot to learn. It’s one of my dreams to let go of ALL my inhibitions. One day, I probably will. 
Meanwhile, how concious are you about everything? Am I just like everyone else?

11 comments:

  1. People sometimes care a little too much about your personal life. It is literally as if they don't have their own!
    Damn I hadnt seent eh video of yours..On MY WAY :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, a month back an aunt was asking me if I had carpet or wooden flooring in my house. Did I have a lawn? Lol!!

      And very few people were able to see the video since I almost immediately put another post to hide it. hahaha!

      Delete
  2. haha :p I have aunties who ask me what I cook in breakfast

    And I point to this man who is my husband whenever I am asked , " Any good news "

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's very easy for the husbands yaar! They don't have in-laws and their relatives to deal with. Men do enjoy a lot of privileges in this world.

      Delete
  3. You and I are a lot alike and for once, I dont mean that in a good way.
    I used to sit and worry about what everyone thought - not just my family but my friends, the neighbours, the neighbours neighbours, strangers on the street... I needed to please everyone.
    This need to please everyone and 'not disappoint' everyone resulted in some of the worst decisions of my life that even I cannot fathom today.
    The answer is in your sentence only: "You are 32." You are a mature, happily married adult in a great relationship. Live life on your terms... you do not need to get anyone's (except mine before winning contests, of course!) approval to do what you want... if there is anything today's India will teach you, it is that there will always be somebody somewhere who will say "hawww! ye ladki aisa bol rahi hai!" Dont bother about such people.
    As long as you dont physically or intentionally hurt someone, you're good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, I'm almost there. The only people I'm afraid of are my and the Boy's family. I have started caring little about the rest of the world. Bus, a few more steps to freedom :)

      Delete
  4. Anonymous2/04/2015

    Relatives are there to make your life hell! Apparently you do need people who do that!

    Only recently did I drop my 'what will people think' and honestly I feel more good about myself! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha.. Yeah.. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger ;)

      Delete
  5. And I'm so proud of you! :)

    Only almost strangers find the need to ask such questions. I ask them to buzz off on their face! I'm blunt and straight forward no matter what the issue is. This is a different kind of issue than the one you mentioned in the post :P

    I'm glad you shared the video with me. I absolutely loved it :) Please tell me you got the voucher for it!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Next time don't be this polite Nisha! When they have the audacity to poke this much into what's none of their business we can sure show the guts to protect what's actually our business.

    And the video ? Bold as it may be, you look nothing but cute in that. What makes you think your voice or your facial expressions is off the rocker?

    ReplyDelete

Your sweetness makes my day. Gentle criticism will be taken in the right spirit too :)