Imagine

Imagine that you are healthy

It isn’t hard to do

Close your eyes – hop, skip and jump

Imagine and it will come true.

Imagine that you are wealthy

That is an easy task

Driving a Porche, wearing a Prada

Imagine and you won't even have to ask.

Imagine that you are happy

Don’t we all want bliss?

Think you are in a park, laughing out loud

Imagine and you will attain happiness.

Imagine that there is only the good

And it will come bouncing back

STOP feeding negativity

Imagine and get your life on track.

This Blog is my Therapy

I started this blog more than 12 years ago to chronicle my life. In the beginning, I forced my friends to read every single thing I wrote. Unable to decline my repeated threats, most of them obliged.

A few months into the blogging world, I made some friends. We were there for each other in thick and thin. When no one was reading our amateur stuff, we were lauding each other's work and found immense happiness in doing so. Readers/fans were easy to come by.

A lot of these people quit writing. Their blogs became ghost towns. I use to wonder what is happening in xyz's life after he/she stopped coming online. Those were the days..

Blogospere became a tad commercial with the rise of Indiblogger and Blogadda. I participated in contests trying my best to combine my personal life into brands to win prizes. There was a thrill attached to winning. I wrote a lot of fictional posts also. It made me happy - wasn't that the purpose of this space anyway?

There was a time when I thought I should write about more 'meaningful' posts. Everyone around me was writing on Feminism, Politics, Finance, and things that could make a difference. Pen is mightier than the sword they said. So I tried. And failed.

It is not that I don't have an opinion. It is not that I don't think my blog matters. I just wanted to be here and talk about me! Narcissistic much? Nah, it just gave me a space to vent out and talk about my feelings!

I have thought about this - If I am writing only personal stuff, I might as well write in a diary. Why do I need to put it out in the world to read?

It is very simple - I got a message from a bestie today. She told me she read my blog and thought she had missed out on a lot. She asked me about my life and what was going on. She inquired about my health and how I was coping. I told her the truth.

Had she asked me in general how I was, I would have given her an indifferent 'I am fine'. When she read my blog, a space where I am most real, she dug deeper into understanding what was really going on. We connected at a more sacred level for which I am extremely grateful.

And so I still write here and talk about everything I feel like talking about. It doesn't matter who is reading and who is not. It is these moments that matter. It makes you feel that the universe cares about you and you are absolutely fine in every way. It re-instills your faith in your friendships, in the written world and the world beyond.

Needless to say, this blog will exist till the end of time. 

The Power Within

A person with a chronic ailment does everything that he comes across to heal himself. It could be a persistent cough or a physical weakness or a life-consuming disorder, each one of us is fighting a health issue that we want resolved.

And when an illness starts from childhood, your parents take you to all doctors, yogi’s and tantrics to make you a healthier baby so that you can lead a normal life. I went to more than twenty such people.

I remember each one of them clearly since I spent a significant amount of time with all. Me and my mother use to go with utmost faith to any person who had healing powers…or so we were told. We tried all sorts of Ayurvedic medicines, Accupressure, Reiki, massage, special diets, feeding a cow on a full moon night ...the list is endless.

Yes, doctors were there, but medically there was no cure. And when you can’t find answers in medical science, you look upwards. We did our karma, did the best that we could and left the rest on God.

When I got married I looked no further than medical science. While it kept things in check, it did not heal. After a point in time things began to get worse and it took a toll on my mental health. I began to worry about my future and nothing in the present made me happy.

It is then I thought I will start to learn meditation for I knew everything starts from your head. I started looking out for videos on youtube, for internet is where you go to these days, not tantrics and yogis!

Incidentally a friend of mine called me to tell about this Life Coach cum Spiritual Guru cum Brahma Yog expert who takes online lessons for people who cannot meet her in person. I thought it would be too much gyaan that I already have and hence was reluctant to start the sessions. After three days of sitting on it, I decided to give it a go because I had nothing to lose.

I have taken four sessions so far. A, my teacher, has started with trying to train my thoughts with acceptance and trust in my good destiny which, according to her, all of us are blessed with. We work with her guidance into life and subsequently opening of chakras. At first I thought this was the proverbial satsang and I am too young and intelligent for that. Then I realised that I know but I really don’t apply anything!

She has told me to trust her approach. She has told me to work really hard. She has told me that I will become the first person in this world to say that I was cured of this particular disorder.

Do I want to be able to say that? Do I want to trust her? Do I want to work hard? Yes, yes and yes. It takes a special amount of courage to start trusting again that things will be okay when you have been in and out of the same situation multiple times and that too in childhood – the precious time when things get ingrained in your head. But I am willing to make that leap of faith once again. I want to be like my parents who did the same for me every single time. I want to be like the little girl I was who saw a glimmer of hope at the end of every tunnel.

Maybe I am still that girl who believes even Green tea can work wonders. Faith can move mountains they say. Trust might just be what I need in my life.

Let the sessions continue!