Be Yourself

As a country we are obsessed with approval. Our self confidence was broken by harsh rulers who ingrained white superiority over us hence making white the better colour. 

Patriarchy made girl child the inferior gender. Women were responsible to cook and make babies. They were considered the weaker sex and always put second. The sole purpose of a lady was to get married and bear children. Any disability to do so labelled her into many things which were far away from pleasant.

It is not just an Indian thing. Many societies have biases based on colour, gender and race making us constantly seeking approval of those whom we consider above us. I have seen very few people in my life who are comfortable in their own skin fearing no one, asking no one and needing no one.

So what makes a person strong enough to love who they are without having the need for reassurance that they are good enough? How are they wired differently from those who desire day-to-day confirmation that they are smart, beautiful and strong?

Well, it all starts at the very beginning. Parenting is tough and here it is where it all begins. No matter how you have been treated in your life, you must let your child know that he is and deserves the best.

There are parents around me who want to put their 4-year old on diet because he looks too fat. I see women trying face masks on their young ones to brighten their skin colour. There is comparison every single day with the boy next door who is better at alphabets than their kid…

Each parent of the new generation is of the mindset that they are cool. They believe that they don’t compare their children and are giving them the best upbringing. While it is a good thought to have, there needs to be consistency with what you practice. If your child will not get approval from you, he will start to seek it from outside. And that is where every parent will fail in their first and foremost exam.

We don’t need to put our children on a pedestal. We don’t have to tell them they are amazing or better than other kids. We just need to tell them that they are good enough.

The constant battle for ‘likes’ in our generation is a testimony to the fact how flawed our confidence is. We want ‘comments’ from friends and family to justify our existence. The popularity of a person is judged by the number of followers he has or how quickly he can get a thumbs-up from a large audience.

Isn’t it sad? For a few people in this world we waste our time and energy which we could have used to make ourselves better. We lose touch with our inner selves, our inner personality just to please others. Whatever happened to love yourself first?

Life is too short to think less of yourself. You are God’s unique creation and are here for a purpose. Surround yourself with positive souls who lift you up. Be yourself and have no qualms about it.