10 Reasons why you SHOULD not buy a Smart Watch

I'm rebellious and so is my husband. If someone tells me not to do something, I would definitely want to do it. My husband is the same and this happened in our household a few months back:

You see, I am your regular next-door wife - I already knew something was not right with this gadget. I told my husband a million times not to buy a smart watch but he went and bought a cool looking one off #GetFitWithFlipkart any way. Within a day I was reassured that this device had potential of ruining our marital bliss. Just like sports, hubby dearest loved it and was glued to it making me feel like the other woman in the house.

I faked some attitude of I-don't-care and messaged my besties about the potential hazards. Now I am already dealing with the mess, but if your spouse is on his computer looking for various deals that the Smart Wearable section on Flipkart has, this is the list you go to. Fill his mind with possible dangers, use your magical powers and mesmerise him with the ordeals he will have to face if he does buy a smart watch... these are just ten of the possible risks, I am sure the wife in you will be able to concoct many more.

Deprives you of Gold and Silver ornaments

A smart watch costs a minuscule of what a luxury watch would cost. The only advantage is that it tells you multiple things instead of just time. You deprive yourself of a glitzy item that makes you look like a millionaire. A smart watch ONLY makes you look healthy, and really, who cares about that socially, eh?

By the way, I accidentally stepped into a gadget store recently and saw this watch that comes in Gold/Silver/Rose Gold bracelet shape or a pendant. It was so pretty that I was almost lured into buying this freakish device. Why so many colours, shapes and sizes? Stick to dorky designs!

Makes you a bad liar

This point works in our favour, but ladies, anything to save our marriage, right?

So when you receive a message, any message, this watch sends you a notification and you can read that message. There are people in this world who fake being extremely busy without having the time to look at their phones. But with a watch, you absolutely cannot tell your wife that you missed her message. She knows well how much you stare at it when a cricket match is on. God forbid if you say you missed her name on the notifications.

Makes you Lazy

On a recent trip to my place, my dad had his smart watch on all the time. Now he is no walker. After every few hundred steps he would say he is done for the day. At the end of 5 days, he said that he had cumulatively walked 35000 steps which is more than he walks in 10 days and because of THAT he is very tired and will sit back at home and relax. Needless to say, we left him home and went out anyway with mom because we had not done our 10,000 steps for the day!

See, for a person like him, the watch makes you lazy. Although I am pretty sure that without a watch he would have made us sit at home much before the ‘massive’ 35000 mark.

Makes you too available

Remember the time you saw a number blinking on your screen and you did not answer that call? Remember how you told that person the next time you had a chat that your phone was on charging and you are ‘sorry’ you missed his call?

Well, with the smart gadget flashing the call on your wrist, that special someone would know you were avoiding him. Do you want a sarcastic message on Facebook from him especially curated for you?

Yeah, now we are talking.

Makes you ‘un’cool

Let’s face it – only those who care about their health and awareness will wear a smart watch. It makes you look like a fitness freak who will not eat pakoras and drink cola – now who wants to hang out with that dude?

Truth be told, people who monitor their blood pressure and heart rate live a healthier and a more fulfilling life, but they are a pain to those around them.

Do you want to live a better life, err, I mean be that person?

They make for horrible gifts

Suppose you don’t have this watch and you buy one for your spouse/friend on Flipkart. He will start tracking his health, get more active on social media, will be able to hear music on the go, and the works.

If he does use the watch in its full capacity, he will potentially become slimmer than you. Can you take that chance?

You can’t.

You can’t fake sickness

It is your wife’s best friend’s birthday. You despise that lady. You come home from work and feign a fever. Since you have come from your boring job, you do look sick. You get excused right away.

Buttt, with a smart watch, your darling wife wraps her arms around you, opens your device and checks your pulse. This in-house doctor takes away your freedom and you have to go air-kiss and wish that Shabana whom you absolutely hate.

Tch!

Makes you Run out of Excuses

The dreaded device has a function called find my device. It helps you find your phone which you have lost 1008 times in the last one year. 434 times it was lost under the sofa and 1008 minus 434 times you made up this story because you were busy finishing up an episode on Netflix.

With ‘find my device’ you can’t even watch television in peace or read reddit/quora. You have to be punctual or be more creative with your stories.

Can you do that?

It can be nagging

There is an ass-print on your sofa which is a proud achievement from many, many hours of sitting. It is your cozy spot. Sometimes, on a special Saturday, you sit there facing the television for seven hours straight so that you finish a season before anyone else does.

Trust me, this watch will not let you do that since it has a timer that tells you to get moving when you have been sedentary for a long time. Now you already have a mummy/wife/boss for that, do you need another device for the same?

Takes away the Fun

In our house, it is a big deal as to who gets into the bed first. This is because the one who gets in last has to switch off all the lights.

Last night, my darling husband took a leisurely stroll to the bed. He was not at all unhappy about the fact that I beat him. When he slid under covers, I gently reminded him that he had lost the race and had to get up again to switch off the lights. I even let out a triumphant cry.

He smiled back, used the voice assistant on his watch and the lights went off.

Smart Lights? Ugh!

I let out a tiny tear, sighed heavily and decided to write this post warning all wives.

Either I will have the most golden, sparky, smart watch that has more features than his does, or I will bring this evolution to an end. 

And after writing this post I am going to buy Smart Home solutions from Flipkart's #SmartHomeRevolution so that I beat him to everything else in the house.

 Yeah, marital bliss will come back when I Ok Google  in a sultry tone to turn on Romantic lights before he taps his wrist watch!