The Drama in Bargaining

Bargaining is in our genes. We might live in a bungalow worth a crore, but till we don’t bring down the rate of onion from Rs. 100 to Rs.90 a kg, it doesn’t get pureed well in the blender. Not only that, the free dhaniya/mircha is like a constitutional right for which even we can go on a dharna.

When I was growing up, there were no brands as such. We shopped from local shops in Lucknow which were owned by my Sindhi uncles. So we always got a discount of at least 20%. Plus, tea/coffee/Pepsi, gossip and a dinner invite. But when the likes of Shoppers Stop came up, we had to wait for Sale to lure us into the store since arbitrary discount or bargaining was not an option. And damn organised retail, they didn’t even give us free polythene bags leave alone a glass of water.

Delhi, on the other hand, had pirates from the Arabian. Sarojini/Janpath was selling ‘branded’ stuff for less. Shopping was a thrill in these areas because it always felt like a victory after getting an item for less than 50% of its original price. If the Bhaiya said 500, I said 200 and easily got an item for Rs. 250.

This haggling is actually an art. You would see a female falling in love with an item but then pretending that it’s just OK. Her companion, if a man, would stand directly behind her chanting from 100 to 1 in order to spare himself a headache from the cacophony. When will men understand that women do this to save money for old age dentures? Anyway, if Bhaiya would agree to give a 1000 rupee item for Rs. 500, the transaction would be complete. If Bhaiya is rigid, the female would walk away with an air of indifference while praying in her heart for Bhaiya to call her back!

Seriously, when we do that fake walk-away, we feel so awful. It’s like parting from the love of our life not knowing if our paths would cross again. It is a different matter that we might not like the item ‘that much’ when we bring it home. But that moment, that moment feels really sad.

Then comes the theory of buying in bulk. If one item is for Rs. 300, a conscientious negotiator will demand 3 for the same price. It’s such a funny trait but it always works. Both the parties have a hearty laugh in their insides while their face remains totally grim. The transaction usually ends with 2 for the same price and all parties are happy.

In such situations, any lady can give the likes of Smriti Irani/Deepika Padukone a serious run for their money. I am sure if you sit with a road-side vendor, he will be able to narrate hundreds of humorous bargain stories with killer acting by the women in question. I am also sure that he will be able to tell you how he sold an item that was worth a 100 for 500 by quoting a 1000 and still seen immense satisfaction on a customer’s face.

That is why we never feel content even after getting a 50% discount. That feeling of ‘we could have gotten it for less’ always remains. But all’s well that ends well. Our momentary triumphant smile and Bhaiya’s happiness of fooling yet another lady, is a win-win situation for all.

Really, shopping in malls is so boring when there is so much drama in street shopping!