Missing the rush

So, you know, I’ve grown old. A few strands of hair have turned Grey. And now when someone asks my age I have to think twice -  like I’ve forgotten. Or, maybe, stopped counting.

On friendship day, I was even finding it cheesy to wish my friends. Then it dawned upon me the fun we use to have sitting on my bed at home eating Koki and discussing boyfriends. I use to tell my friends everything. Starting from today he looked at me, or he held my hand or whatever happened between ‘us’! I have always been blessed with a lot of very good friends. So in those days, every event had to be narrated atleast 5 times; usually by a phone call just after I returned home!

When I was 14 I had my first crush. Yeah, that late. The telephone was in the middle of the house. So when I use to call my friend to narrate the events of the day, I had to give girly names to the boys of the class. Man, what was I thinking? My mum would have laughed in the kitchen listening to the stupid stuff that I thought I was very clever to disguise.

Today, every teenager has a mobile phone. They can password protect it and chat away to glory. They can click pictures and keep looking. Oh boy, I had just one picture! And in school, we just had class pictures!

Not only this, I use to love it so much when I use to get blank calls! There was so much mystery attached to who the real caller was. And till you did not know, you could easily cook stories in your head and choose your favorite person as the caller. Damn truecaller of today. Even if someone tries to call you from a random mobile number, this truecaller will identify and let you know.

Not that I want someone to call now! It is a nightmare at this age. I’ve had some issues with a few blank callers and it was damn scary. Eventually I reported it to the someone whom I thought could tell the person to stop. And it did stop. But back then, the day was made!

Actually the digital age is quite boring. Emails don’t have the same romance as letters with kisses and perfume. You can see on Skype, you can hear on Viber, you can read on Whatsapp but you could feel in those letters. There is no doubt that the STD rates were expensive at Rs. 4.5 , but the rush of knowing that you will be able to talk today, even for a few minutes, was amazing. When you have less of something, it’s priceless, isn’t it?

When I was in college, the Boy went to France for a student exchange program. I use to get very little pocket money in which I had to take care of petrol, phone and canteen expenses. I use to not switch on the AC just so I could save on petrol and have extra cash for calling. We had Internet, but our timings did not match. So, this is the only way we could manage. I will always treasure that memory. If I had Viber, would I remember any of this?

Until a few months back, not all my school friends had Whatsapp. So we didn’t really have a group. We use to mail each other atleast once a month updating about our lives. This particular set of friends have very different lifestyles, but still we remain like sisters. Only because we mailed each other frequently. On a dull day, I would go back to mails we wrote in 2006 when we all were in different cities, living in hostels and learning to adapt into a new life. Or 2008, the year I got married. I dig mails from 2010 when a friend was hunting every matrimonial website for a suitable guy. The fun we had just through those mails is amazing. And there is a record of everything.

With Whatsapp, the memories are just in our head. Also, we update less. Because when you chat, you tend to talk about the day and not everything under the sun. Mails give you freedom to write at your own pace and express. Ofcourse I can still mail. Ofcourse I can still sprinkle a little perfume and send a letter. But the time, that time is just gone. And I really miss it.

I have a wonderful life. I have new friends with whom I can share everything, even my sex life. But i miss the rush because it is all so mundane! We were more adventurous when we were younger. We were willing to take risks. Now we are more responsible, more planned, more organized and all that shit!!!

Yes, there is comfort in routine. There is peace and happiness. But hell, happiness, peace and comfort are all signs of growing up. To get that rush, we would have to change cities. Changing cities would mean taking a risk which we are not willing to take now. So, how do we get that rush? 

Ah, does this happen to everyone in their early 30’s? Or did I grow up too fast?! Perhaps the grass is always greener on the other side. I should talk to people who are living the so-called adventurous life not knowing where their next year is going to be. Maybe that will make me treasure my routine more. 

P.S. This is just one of those nostalgic posts. 99/100 days, I love the routine more!! :p