If there is a biggest Mutual Admiration Club in the
universe, it is here, in our Blogosphere. You agree, don’t you?
When I started out, I had to literally push my friends to
read. Some of them wouldn’t even read at gunpoint. The ones who did succumb to
death threats came here once in six months and reluctantly let me know how
wonderful my writing was. And now, I can count on my fingers the number of
non-bloggers who regularly read this space. That number is really small, but
what to do, I have given up hope. BFF should really be redefined and a blogging
clause should be added. Sigh.
Our small universe survives on daily dose of encouragement
from each other. You scratch my back, I
scratch yours. On some days this culture annoys me a whole lot. Don’t
get me wrong – I do have my favourite blogs – not only because I enjoy how they
write but also because I have now come to know these people through their work
and I absolutely adore them. When I read their posts I compliment as much as I
criticize. That balance is what I crave for in this universe.
You see I was never the type of person you would come to if
you wanted flattering remarks. On a bad day my friends would stay away from me
because I would tell them on their face that their dark circles were growing
bigger. On a good day, they would push for my opinion because they thought I
would be fair. It is another thing that after my judgement their day suddenly
could become bad! So comments like ‘brilliant post’, ‘awesome one’, ‘loved your
thoughts’, ‘superbly written’, etc,etc always make me wonder if I am missing a
point! This not only happens with other blogs but even mine. Sometimes I don’t
think I deserve the applause, but then I get confused that perhaps I don’t know
anything about writing.
Maybe after this I will be flooded with compliments. Or
maybe, I will be left alone with my only faithful reader – Google Bot. Whatever
it is, every society has a certain code of conduct – our top most rule is mutual
admiration. As a member of this club I hereby pledge that no matter how much it
baffles me, I shall try my best not doubt it. After all, you are my only hope; the BFFs
will not surrender to intimidations anyway!
Well, do you believe that even half the people who leave back comments in my blog, even read more than half the post? I keep my posts short but they would still skip paras. And when you have been in this area for a few years, you know how to separate the honest comments from a pile of dirty laundry statements. Truth be told, I don't visit those idiots back.
ReplyDeleteI am anonymous, so I thrive on blog readers alone. A few souls know and they read but since they are not blogger, they don't comment.
You go girl! You have some loyal followers. Me included!
Ok first things first, you ARE one of my favorites! When I don't like something what you have written, I don't read the whole thing and hence don't comment. It is as simple as that.
DeleteI have even seen people copy pasting the same comment on every blog. There are some who just read the comments and make their own! I hate this dirty game because blogging means so much to me. It is such a great medium for people who don't really publish their work to display their talent. I have happily survived seven years without getting my hands dirty - everyone else can too!
I completely agree with you. When I started the blog I used to beg my friends to read.. and even then they dint. Now I get a couple comments and I can say which is genuine. I always always read all your posts...I admit I gave some contest entries a miss ;-)
ReplyDeleteBut you definitely have an element of honesty always reflecting through your words, and that keeps me coming back !
There are some contest entries I wish I hadn't written as well! But you know, considering the luck I've had with few, I am still ok with them :)
DeleteI read all your entries too, and I've told you umpteen times how I honestly like them. In some ways we have a genuine club here.. haha!
Ah! The truth out there can be so cold sometimes! But we do have to accept it nevertheless! I remember how I used to feel when no one used to comment...Felt like stopping to write at first! And then over time got introduced to this world of bloggers and started meeting like minded people that built up encouragement and the motivation to keep going forward!
ReplyDeleteAmongst all who do read don't really read...learning from this a-z challenge to keep writing what you want but to keep to a minimum as much as possible!
You keep writing! One thing I know is that every writer is unique and no one can write like the other...
Well, comments do encourage. But as everywhere else, quality matters more than quantity. 100 comments don't mean a wow post and no comments don't mean the writer is just going blah!
DeleteA few great examples of this are the blogs by published writers who are writing their second or third book but when they write a post they don't get any comments. This is ONLY because they don't have time to visit blogs and comment on them.
So remain self motivated. Once in a while it's fine, but don't completely depend on comments.
I guess, it's been the same for most of us. But the thing is that with passage of time, you get to know which are real, genuine comments. I do take 'Awesome post. Brilliant writing' ones with a pinch of salt! And yes, you can even make out, who has read the complete post and who hasnt. Blogosphere is like your regular society which also has genuine and fake well wishers, people who relate to you, people who dont... so...
ReplyDeleteThat is actually a good comparison. This world is no different than the real world. And we must not take all the compliments too seriously!
DeleteOh, I am loving the discussion on this one. See that's what commenting should be all about.
I guess the best thing to do is just write...I do like getting comments but as years passed by, three to be exact, I realized I'm okay with just writing and if comments come well I'm elated if not that's alright...And my friends and family never read let alone comment...I stopped asking them to as well :D
ReplyDeleteM for Motherly-Random Thoughts Naba
Haha! They just ask us what do we do to win prizes. I hate it when even these close friends think we are way too lucky; as if there is absolutely no talent involved in this! Only if they read...
DeleteI used to bug my friends to read my blogs... But later on most of the friends I had were bloggers. More than the awesome... Brilliant comments it's the smiley comments that irk me... I mean what should I make out of a rolling eye smiley as comment. Believe me.. People do that... And then I wonder if my post was so good that it made them speechless or so dumb that they don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Smileys!I use them too.. but not as a standalone. I use them more like punctuation marks :)
DeleteSaw that? ;)
And this!
I agree that blogging community thrives on 'I scratch your back and you scratch mine'. But for me this challenge has introduced me to some wonderful blogs and I plan to visit them after April too. As far as comments go on my blog, as Naba said , I write for my own satisfaction and if I do receive comments then good, if not, no problem. I blogged for almost 3 years with only a handful of comments on my blog and I still survived. ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah.. Like I've been surviving since 7 years. Believe me I have tried my best to refrain from faking it and it's not easy when you see people praising some blogs left, right and centre. I don't doubt their writing. But I do feel some people just overdo it.
DeleteLike Shilpa said, it is the same in the real world and we need to accept that.
I totally agree. Blogosphere totally is a Mutual Admiration Club. I have had so many followers unfollow me because I did not follow them back. Yes, it happened! I find it extremely silly and annoying.
ReplyDeleteI just write for myself now. And I know a few loyal readers will always visit and enjoy the post, irrespective of whether they comment or not. It does not matter to me. At all.
I read every single word of all the bloggers I follow. And some others I do not bother to visit even. But your blog remains one of my old favorites. And shall continue to be :)
If I had zero comments, it would bother me. But if I had two comments that said 'awesome', 'brilliant'... it would probably bother me more. So yes, writing for yourself is the key. And finding some loyal friends whose opinion you trust.Like the small little gang we are making here.. haha!
Deletei totally agree with you! i started writing jst a mnth and a half back. n i used to ask my bffs to read it. though they read for a week, they got bored n stopped readin! i gave up nagging them. thn slowly i met few amazing bloggers n the connections grew. its nt much, i am stil a toddler here. sometimes wen i visit back the blogs who commented on my post, i dont understand or cant connect with their posts n i jst leave without commenting. yes i feel guilty i couldnt return the love bt i feel its definitely better than faking it !!
ReplyDeleteand i cant say i have read all ur posts n i love them.. i recently started reading ur blog. probably frm letter J n as much as i have read it, i loved today's post the most :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you understand the difference between genuine remarks and fake comments. I always thought blogging was different... that people here were actually intellectuals who came to share their creative thoughts. It is only a matter of few bad fish maybe. Don't worry, we will clear that out :)
DeleteAnd thankyou Swathi, you're sweet!
I generally follow this while commenting.Tell the truth,tell the pleasant,Not to tell the truth if its unpleasant and not to tell the pleasant if its untrue.
ReplyDeleteHowever in some cases to encourage and motivate,I err on the generous side.
I do the same: If I don't like something I refrain from commenting. If I do, I compliment. Sometimes I add my POV. There have been times I have recommended the author to write a bit differently; although in a very subtle way.
DeleteI know exactly what you mean. People outside the blogging world have amazed me when they reveal that not only do they read my blog regularly but they like it. I never knew because the only people that leave comments are fellow bloggers. We are a seasoned group that put ourselves and our writing out there constantly so we have no qualms about leaving a comment. I believe in being positive even though like you, I am notorious for telling it just like it is. There is always something nice to say...always. I can't see the point of being rude or slamming someone's writing. Providence knows, I am not perfect. I also have no desire to hurt someones feelings either. I find that to be counterproductive. I encourage. I uplift. When I say you have a brilliant post...I mean it. There was something there that touched me. I always try to say what I liked about it and why it was brilliant. It is hard to sort through the fake and the genuine. Is it hard to be kind? NO. I know how you feel because some days I read my comments and feel people are just blowing air up my butt. Sometimes it is obvious when they really didn't like it but are struggling to be positive. On all counts...I appreciate the effort and carry on trying to improve each day.
ReplyDeleteWe are definitely not perfect. And we are not here to ridicule anyone in any way. None of us have the credentials to do that since creativity is very subjective and cannot be judged.
DeleteComments are meant to encourage and inspire us. If they make us doubt the whole idea of blogging then their purpose remains unfulfilled. And so, just like you said, we should always supplement the words 'brilliant post' with the reason why we liked it. Otherwise it seems the reader did not read the post and just wrote that for the heck of it.
Even I used to be after my friends to read my blog but they claimed to have 'better things to do' than read my blog. At first I used to feel bad but then I realized that I made this blog for myself and not for any one else. So even if nobody reads or comments I shouldn't be bothered... And now I just don't care whether its genuine or fake or if somebody skipped paras or read the whole thing bcz I know that I wrote that post so that, that moment stays with me forever.
ReplyDeleteEven some times the comments I used to get pissed me off and made me question myself as to why I even wrote the post in first place. But then I eventually refused anyone to make me feel that way! As ultimately what I wrote is for me and not anyone else.
Anyone is free to comment, debate and argue, and all I take it as is 'difference of opinions'.
Byt my blogging experience has been awesome and by far the best thing I have ever done! I made new friends and my English improved. But more importantly I left my shell of introvertness and interacted with people! I totally enjoy it!
Oh yes blogging is totally awesome. This is just a healthy discussion of sorts and not a debate. Only people from this universe will understand how much fun we have here. Even the fake comments make me chuckle. Isn't that fun? And if someone criticizes or 'pisses' me off, I tend to enjoy that too.
DeleteOnly the emphasis on quantity is alarming. Rest ... all is well!
You know now I have to think twice before posting, because more than often I also leave those cliche' comments :P. I have to admit the mutual admiration thing has crossed my mind as well at more than one point but I have another theory for this, that's because I think more than often we end up regularly following blogs of like minded people. We read people we have a lot of commonalities with, so mostly we appreciate or agree with their POVs.
ReplyDeleteAnd sometimes the thoughts resonates so much that there is nothing left to say, you just keep nodding your head while reading the post. On other times when we disagree or doesn't like something, we skip commenting unless the topic is debatable. Atleast this is the case with me.
But who doesn't like the mutual admiration thing, as you said friends and family are difficult readers :P.
I totally agree. And in this case also you can make out who was nodding along and who just wrote 'great post' for the heck of it. The single word comment is not always a bad choice if you know who is genuine and who is not.
DeleteI am never sure my comment has been accepted or not, blogger doesn't give me any message. that's why I always post it twice/thrice. Sorry for that.
ReplyDeleteYour comment(s) always reaches me. Don't worry at all!
DeleteHaving fun visiting blogs on the 15th day of the #atozchallenge. Looks like you are making lots of new blogging friends. Congratulations. If you have time or interest, I am writing about gardening and related topics this month. Come visit.
ReplyDeleteHahaha.. see, everyone, this is a classic case of copy pasting the same comment on every blog. I am sure this person did not read the blog post, nah not even a line :D
DeleteThis was a big discussion today in one of the bloggers group I am in. I felt there was no wrong in mutual admiration as long as it was honest, another girl argues that she won't visit people who comment on her blog with links.. I was clueless why she felt so!
ReplyDelete~S(t)ri
Participant|AtoZ Challenge 2014
Smile, it makes (y)our day!
Exactly.. don't write 'brilliant post' even without reading! Complimenting is fine but going over-board is weird.
DeleteAnd there are all sorts of people here... to each his own!
AWESOME ! I won't still shy away from calling it awesome.The best medicine for a Writer is Admiration and that too an honest one. I have had great friends here at Blogosphere and few Committed and Honest Readers as well . I agree , you know instantly If the person had actually taken the pain to read or just left a comment for sake of it..followed by let's follow each other
ReplyDeleteFrankly, I don't even 'follow'. I just add the blog link the the good old blogroll. Through this post I am learning new things!
DeleteI totally agree with your views. I enjoyed reading this post today !
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to read more.
http://www.ananyatales.com
I know you read my posts otherwise this could totally pass as a fake comment :)
DeleteHey.. no offense.. just an example!
Hey Nisha, I loved your post here... you scratch my back, I scratch yours what an apt statement... Frankly I never pushed anyone to read my stuff... I kept on jotting down. Reading back I found my flaws and then I realized there are so many other bloggers here too... Yes we all do crave for that remark- even if criticism to know where do we stand, how can we evolve, what can be done... Nice post! I have explored many great bloggers around and I love to learn from them :)
ReplyDeleteWhen you read and like, you must acknowledge and comment. But when you don't read and don't like, why say nice things. That is my only concern here.
DeleteThankyou for dropping by!
Ok, now I shall comment warily ;) But truth be told, I agree that some people write comments without reading the whole post. Wonder why they do that. At the end of the day, I think it comes down to why you blog. If it is only for the comments, then be ready for all of it- the genuine, the fake, the half-hearted and the effusive. If it is for your own happiness, none of the above will take away from the effort of having written, right? That being said, I really do admire your way of conveying ideas. Frank, straightforward and no-holds barred. :)
ReplyDelete~Shailaja's latest A~Z post
I love to be bold here because people are much more understanding than most we meet in the real world. So being straightforward is easy. Thankyou for writing that.
DeletePeople write fake comments just to get traffic to their blog post. And when they get 100 comments in return they get a high. Such people need to get a life! I mean, if you genuinely write well, followers will read anyway. Why stoop to such levels?
have seen a lot of the type of comments u talked about in my blog too. Too many perhaps over the years... I actually prefer a honest opinion rather than an odd 'nice' comment.. I wouldn't mind criticism too much ( heaven knows ive faced it all my life ) but I get what u mean.. its perhaps more obvious these days that some are in into blogging for the post count and page count rather than the words within the blog itself...
ReplyDelete
DeleteYou are a story teller.. I can't imagine the kind of criticism you face. This 'job' is as hard as any other... what were we thinking!
Anyway, we are veterans here.. can filter out the fake from the genuine. Atleast we have each other :)