Boys Night v/s Girls Night

The Boy has gone for a Boy’s night out and I’m completely bored. As I decide between watching Raanjhanaa (which he refuses to watch) or season 4 of Modern Family (which I absolutely love), I’m trying to guess the conversation they must be having.

He is an adorable husband who tells me quite a bit. They start with Booze, career opportunities, travel plans and move on to digs at each other. The banter increases with mixed shots and ends with people puking. He never pukes. Yes, he tells me everything *winks*

How do girls start? We begin with seasonal offers at Zara and Mango. And move on to sex. We try to discuss the falling rupee and the worsening job market. But let’s face it, that’s no fun.  After a couple of glasses of sophisticated wine, we move on to bedroom stories. We try to make it sound like someone else’s tale, but really, it is all about us. Oh, mind you, we don’t discuss everything with everyone all the time. It is just between close friends after a fine selection of Shiraz and shots of Jose Cuervo. For us, the group of 7 is called Sex and the City and we probably meet twice a year. Only. 

Don’t judge me. Healthy conversations about sex should be promoted in our culture. When we meet we giggle and learn at the same time. We neither demean nor put someone on a pedestal. We talk, we share, and then vouch never to divulge any personal information. Except that the boys come to know tid bits about our conversation through our smoother actions *winks again*.

Coming back to the innocent boys – I’ve always admired men and their ability to keep their personal life to themselves. Thank God for that. When I was dating the Boy, he hardly ever introduced me to his friends. Although it was a scary trait, he found it best for me to stay away from their conversations. He also said something along the ‘IIT guys bookhe ....’ lines. No offense, he is one of them *winks the third time*.

Men have a wilder imagination than women. Women, they are grossed out if they start to imagine someone else's sex life. Atleast in my part of the world. And that is why I think it is best for boys to overindulge, puke and gossip about office. I am sure they have fun in their own simple way!

As for us, we will strive to learn from all our chit-chats *wink wink*.

It's time for Raanjhanaa...

Ring the Bell - When Men and Women voice their opinion and fight together for a cause

Violence against women hasn’t decreased with time, education or the so-called modernization. It’s happening all around us and we choose to turn a blind eye. You may or may not be affected by it. But being a silent bystander and not doing anything about it doesn’t guarantee a better life either.

When I hear stories or read about incidents related to abuse of any kind, I get all jittery. How can we behave like wild animals when our race was chosen to be sensible and loving? Partners, children, parents, fellow human beings... they are all meant to be loved and not abused.

This fight ...this is definitely not gender based. The same men who beat their wives are capable of molesting young boys as well. Who will protect them? The women who tolerate this abuse set wrong example for their daughters. By keeping quiet, we are encouraging the perpetrators.

Caring deeply about the subject doesn’t solve anything as well. We have to stand up and clear the air around us. We have to encourage men in our lives to take part in the movement. We have to encourage fathers to teach their sons. We need to tell friends not to laugh at abusive jokes and tell people around us that it’s NOT acceptable to joke about rape and abuse. When a man talks about his strengths with respect to women around him, we really don’t have to make a big deal about it. Sex needs to be treated as an act of love and not an achievement. I can go on and on...

Education helps. Blame game doesn’t. When a woman is abused we shift our focus from the root cause to what she was wearing, where she was, etc. People who try to protect her are called names like male bashers, man haters, extremists. These are all excuses and attempts to ignore the problem.

We all need to be involved equally – men, women and children. While children can be taught how to respect both genders, they cannot be given the sole responsibility of building a brighter future. What about now? How can we improve the situation now? Leaders, decision makers, powerful people... they can influence you and me. That leader can be the bread-winners of the family or the President of the country – powerful people can bring the weak down. The abusers need to be told by leaders that they are not welcome. When they lose their standing in the society, only then their race will see a downfall.

We need to have men and women who have the guts to speak against this; who have guts to speak against their family, friends, relatives or neighbours who are abusive in any way. We really need to talk about this more and voice our opinions in a constructive manner. Speaking up can help in a big way. 

We don’t only owe it to women, but to our sons and daughters as well. Let us not make this a gender issue or a fight by-women-for-women movement. We need to fight against it together to protect the world from abuse; to give women, girls and young boys that one basic right to love and be loved; to survive like a human being and not like an untamed animal.

This post is part of Ring the Bell initiative by Breakthrough. Entries are displayed on IndiBlogger.

The American Diaries – Part 1 – Short-listing cities

Health has been driving me insane lately. The only thing that has kept me going is planning for our upcoming trip to the States. With so many blessings, small challenges shouldn’t be a big deal, right? I'm assuming it's my nazar suraksha kawach (the hideous-irrational evil eye for the uninitiated!).

Anyway, planning for this trip has been quite interesting. Before this, I’ve successfully planned a trip to France/Switzerland and Turkey with ease. But America is like a whole new world. You’ve heard so many things, you’ve seen so many shows and movies, and so, you basically want to go everywhere on your first visit. Short- listing 4-5 cities for 17-odd days is quite challenging.

That is where a handful of friends and relatives come into the picture. Since U.S. is a country where not many go as tourists (Europe and South-East Asia being quite a rage these days), everyone who has been there has a suggestion to give. My sis-in-law believes, Vegas is how heaven would look like. And so, if I don’t go there, I would be killed. She said a certain thing about Niagara Falls which I wouldn’t want to reveal on a public forum. Basically, I HAVE to go there.

The gorgeous Niagara Falls

The Famous Las Vegas strip

That meant we had to cover both East and West coast. I would definitely let you know about the efforts I had to put in for feeling both heaven, and well, to put it mildly, erotically charged. Oops!

We went to Google Images to see if we wanted to go to Los Angles. The first few pictures were of traffic jams. Without hesitation we started to look for places we could combine with San Francisco and Las Vegas. Simplicity of San Diego impressed us and so, we chose to go with that.

Beaches of San Diego

The beautiful roads of San Francisco

A couple of friends told us that it was indeed a good decision since LA, according to them, was a ‘shit-hole’. The sis-in-law told us we were crazy not to visit the famous Universal Studios and well, one of the most acclaimed cities of the world. Convincing people on our selection of cities has been a task as well!

As for the final destination, we chose New York. I’m a huge sitcom fan. For me, America means Central Park (FRIENDS), Empire Hotel(Gossip Girl), McLarens (How I met your Mother) and so many other places! That made it easy for us(me) to choose New York. The Boy has been amused ever since! 

Times Square, New York City

Our visa is done, our flight and hotel tickets are booked and now I’ll just be scanning Tripadvisor for the next 6 weeks till we leave. 

Having said that, only recently I realised that the actual shooting of FRIENDS and all other television series that I love would have been in Los Angeles. 

Did we change our itinerary based on that fact and random-unsolicited advice? - Hell, no. The visa will expire after 10-years. There is always a next time.

And that, my friend, is the only advice I want to give you while short-listing cities to visit in the US of A. That is, go for a relaxed vacation and not to tick-mark places so that you can show-off at the first given opportunity! 

Picture courtesy: Google baba

Funny on the Net

Just thought I'd share a laugh :D

Such a loving and accepting father :P

Someone made a life changing decision there :)

This one was for an 85-year old grandmother. Sweet!

Line-Maro airports

- So a girl at this Lucknow counter tells me, ‘I like your lips’.

I didn't know where to go.

- Next time, same airport, another girl, ‘I like your teeth’.

That’s still ok! 

- A sardar at the Delhi airport, “Are you a frequent flier?”.

Me: “Umm, I don’t have any card.”

He: “No, no. Just that I’ve seen your name a lot of times.”

  

 - An immigration officer was going through my passport, “Punjabi, hmm?”. 

Me, smiling, “Yes”.

He, singing like a song, “ Kahan jaa rahi hainnnn,”.

Me, “Bahrain.”

He tries to find my visa but can't.

Me, “Visa is on page 26.”

He, singing, “Aapko to sabbbb pata hai.”

Uh!!!!

  

- The first time I came to Bahrain, the Boy told me to buy liquor from the arrival Duty Free shop. I was standing at the counter when an Arab smiled at me and said, "Do you have the money?" 

I gave him a nod and smiled back. I was later told that he would have easily given me all I needed. This country is notorious on Thursdays!

  

I have rude (don't-touch-anything-till-I-tell-you-to) , sweet (you-don't-look-married) and irritating (are-you-pregnant) immigration stories as well. But lets keep them for another day. I just wish that someday a cute guy would be at the counter or at immigration and would repeat the above lines. Now THAT would make for the best story ever.

P.S. I am happily married. A little flirting works wonders for the heart :) 

If you must...

When rock bottom is near,

When all isn’t clear,

Weep if you must,

But don’t lose that trust.

For there are roads to travel,

Scenery to marvel,

Friends to make,

Cakes to bake,

Love to share,

Dear ones to care...

But when it’s too hard to bear,

When life isn’t fair,

Don’t smile if you must,

But never lose that trust.

For there are songs to sing,

Bells to ring,

Peaks to reach,

Children to teach,

So much to give,

One life to live.

But then...

I say again,

Cry if you must,

Only to get up and regain that trust.

Image from  here