I'm new, into a marriage that is. It's been 1.5 years and still feels like it has always been this way. I loved my life without the wife tag. And I love my life with it. Nothing has changed or so it seems. If nothing more, my life has become better.
This makes me wonder, why do people dread marriage? If 2 people fall in love, have a strong bond and feel they can live with each other for the rest of their lives, then why do they fear registering it? There's always a risk involved, there's always this feeling of not being able to work it out, but isn't it a risk worth taking?
All the girls my age who got married around the same time as me, are crazy in love. 1-2 years is good enough a time to know things are sailing smooth. Again, future is unpredictable, but the present, well, all the girls admit - is lots of fun!
Is it too soon to tell? Are they pretending? Or, do we always look forward to something worse? If a couple is happy we fear something is about to ruin their happiness. When I talk about the newly wed girls, I do have a large database. Most of them feel they are still having an affair, just with a different last name. Could we ask for more?
If marriage is such a good thing, then why even after a certain age we feel we are not ready? And if we say we are, we have that unsettling feeling which tells us all is not well. Are we ever ready?
I know marriage is a Big thing. It requires commitment and adjustment. It requires patience, tolerance and a lot of understanding. There, that's why we fear it. We are afraid we might not be able to give our all to the relationship and wreck it in the end. What we fear more is how the other person might not be able to give his all in return.
If you're in love and you think you're almost there, I think marriage deserves a chance. No, its not trial and error. But if you're willing to walk your bit and have a little faith in your choice of partner, then be sure of succeeding at it. You'll never be ready. It will never be a cake-walk. It will require hard work. If you're willing to ignore the work you're putting in and concentrate on the beautiful results, love will continue happily ever after.
Just like in my case. And I'm not pretending.
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New here? This may help.
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Sunday, May 23, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Two different worlds
I've had the opportunity to be super lazy lately. I've been traveling with my husband for his work, so no household work means no work and all play.
No work and all play also means a lot of contemplation. Stupid questions like 'what am I doing with my life', 'Am I good at anything at all', blah blah come to my mind often. I pay no heed to these baseless doubts. My funda in life is clear, think less do more. Just one drawback, I do plan a lot and so the funda goes awry!
Anyway, to keep myself from thinking too much I watch a whole lot of tvduck. Now that's a site where you have all these angrezi drama series,sitcoms etc. Most first episodes have disappointed me. I started with Sex and the City and got absolutely hooked. What fascinated me was obviously, the amount of sex these women crave for! That and the female bonding which is as much fun to watch as the real coffee dates with my girl gang.
Another thing that's keeping me busy is the fascination for the world I see around me. The women behind veils and their life without them. I've read Girls of Riyadh and been reading Daughters of Arabia. You have to read these books to know what goes on in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Clearly I detest that country. Bahrain shares a boundary with it and recently we went for a drive there. Now I know, I even detest the air around that country!
I have nothing against any religion. I have friends, very good friends having different belief systems. I get extremely interested when they talk about their faith. It's the freedom of women that make me hate the country.
So there's liberty in Sex and the City where women sleep with different men every week till they find the right guy.They live independent lives, wear sultry clothes, and do what their heart desires. Whereas, here is one alien land where women are not allowed to drive, can't go out if not escorted by a male guardian, marry and divorce a man according to his willingness, let him have several partners and not say a word against it, i can go on and on.
I'm sure Middle East would be the area with the highest per capita expenditure on make up, perfumes, and bags. That's because, well, firstly these are the only things visible because of the abaya and secondly, they are immensely insecure about their relationships. I happen to meet a girl from the 'celebrated' land and the stories she told me were both amusing and disturbing.
I feel blessed to be born in the land where we are free. We have the right to sleep with several men and wear whatever we feel like. What we can do and what we do is another issue altogether. But atleast I know that I won't die in a building which is on fire just because the firemen wouldn't rescue me since I was not dressed properly. Really, this happened.
I recommend you both SatC and Daughters of Arabia or Princess for that matter. I also recommend you to read and watch these two at the same time. You'll feel stunned and blessed and your love for India will grow manifold.
No work and all play also means a lot of contemplation. Stupid questions like 'what am I doing with my life', 'Am I good at anything at all', blah blah come to my mind often. I pay no heed to these baseless doubts. My funda in life is clear, think less do more. Just one drawback, I do plan a lot and so the funda goes awry!
Anyway, to keep myself from thinking too much I watch a whole lot of tvduck. Now that's a site where you have all these angrezi drama series,sitcoms etc. Most first episodes have disappointed me. I started with Sex and the City and got absolutely hooked. What fascinated me was obviously, the amount of sex these women crave for! That and the female bonding which is as much fun to watch as the real coffee dates with my girl gang.
Another thing that's keeping me busy is the fascination for the world I see around me. The women behind veils and their life without them. I've read Girls of Riyadh and been reading Daughters of Arabia. You have to read these books to know what goes on in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Clearly I detest that country. Bahrain shares a boundary with it and recently we went for a drive there. Now I know, I even detest the air around that country!
I have nothing against any religion. I have friends, very good friends having different belief systems. I get extremely interested when they talk about their faith. It's the freedom of women that make me hate the country.
So there's liberty in Sex and the City where women sleep with different men every week till they find the right guy.They live independent lives, wear sultry clothes, and do what their heart desires. Whereas, here is one alien land where women are not allowed to drive, can't go out if not escorted by a male guardian, marry and divorce a man according to his willingness, let him have several partners and not say a word against it, i can go on and on.
I'm sure Middle East would be the area with the highest per capita expenditure on make up, perfumes, and bags. That's because, well, firstly these are the only things visible because of the abaya and secondly, they are immensely insecure about their relationships. I happen to meet a girl from the 'celebrated' land and the stories she told me were both amusing and disturbing.
I feel blessed to be born in the land where we are free. We have the right to sleep with several men and wear whatever we feel like. What we can do and what we do is another issue altogether. But atleast I know that I won't die in a building which is on fire just because the firemen wouldn't rescue me since I was not dressed properly. Really, this happened.
I recommend you both SatC and Daughters of Arabia or Princess for that matter. I also recommend you to read and watch these two at the same time. You'll feel stunned and blessed and your love for India will grow manifold.